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i wish i could just suck the fat out of me i hate looking at myself and i hate the way clothes fit on me i want to just be a skinny boy :/

i can’t do anything right and i just hurt the people i love the most i hate myself and my fucked brain

i let everyone down because i can’t fucking pull my shit together and be a person for them. i wish i could bash my brain in so i didn’t have to feel like this anymore

long for that feeling of peace, however i may get it

getting a tattoo instead of self harm

the uncontrollable urge to hurt myself when someone hurts me to make them feel bad is so big and i don’t like that this is how my brain works but :/

my dreams are so vivid because of my meds and it takes me a good day or week to get over them. i mainly dream about my fiancée leaving me and finding someone better and it makes me feel like shit because i know i trust them but why is my brain making me dream of this and subsequently hurting my own feelings im so stupid

my intrusive thoughts are getting so much lately and it’s scaring me and it makes me feel like a horrible person and that i deserve all this suffering

i can never do anything right. everyone is going to leave me and imma be all alone as always. i hate myself and my brain so much.

the anger i feel towards ppl i love when i’m splitting is indescribable like i want to block them on everything and never speak to them again but then 5 mins later im sobbing over how much i love them it’s exhausting

the jealously i feel when my partner is doing anything without me is so intense and i feel so guilty for feeling like this but i can’t help it

i be dissociating so much idek what’s real anymore, i don’t recognise myself in the mirror

my brain makes me feel like someone is pushing my head into water and i keep trying to come up for air bc i can’t breathe

i hate when i’m self aware during an episode, like i know my thoughts are irrational but i can’t do anything about it and it’s like a fight between myself and my mind over what’s real and if i should believe my irrational thoughts and fears

why am i so sensitive, it ruins all my relationships, i wish i could smash my brain against a wall