Devious buffoon

bro last night was a marvelous flying machine

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

so you know that cursed sword that slowly drives whoever wields it mad & causes mysterious illnesses? you guessed it: scabbard was absolutely loaded with black mold

i dont even want to fight in evil kingdom anymore but good kingdom wotn take me on account of my evil red sword and my skull pauldrons, and my jet black spiky armor and on account of the fact i killed 200 pixies just for fun and also they have regulations on how spiky your armor can be and the fact i killed 400 pixies

[twirling my hair] haha…and what does that portend ;]

just hit a black flash on someone's dog

(cursed trinket shop owner voice) i'm sure you'll find something in my shop you can't live without...

just woke up in a tub full of ice with a mysterious scar above where my posting organ is

i think my curse got stronger

its time to go big..... (calling to our game show assistant) roll in the ancient beast

tarot reader: draws the tower me: thats bad isnt it tarot reader: draws the tower again me: uh oh tarot reader: draws boeing 767

my cousin lorbish can photosynthesize

The leading theory as to why orcs are green is that it helps them hide in their natural habitat: amongst other orcs.

torture doesnt work on me anymore

i bet it feels good as fuck to erupt from the soil as a skeleton warrior

I'm a big hit at parties because I say things like "death to all who oppose us" and "the reckoning is at hand" when I’m clicked on