hi !

nausea is an inhumane experience and i’m tired of pretending it isn’t

and a headache ? get the fuck outta here

oh and a migraine ? don’t piss me off

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

how dare you say we piss on the poor

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

knew from a young age that i was weird and unfixable

whatever man. mac n cheese with ketchup fucking rocks.

from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator  ☆

i think the world would be a happier place if we were all permanently stoned

the lottery by shirley jackson

hold on i have to read something real quick

dude

the internet seems like a distant dream

whatever we are on rn is not the internet. It's ads

tumblr entertain me

tumblr please when is it MY turn to be amused. provide me with whimsy i beg you

you people are so bad at this. the (best) collective noun for a group of clowns is a "trunkload." "Caligula" was a cutesy childhood nickname meaning "little boots." ventriloquism was originally a religious practice; ancient greeks used their tummy noises to talk to ghosts. i have to do everything around here

But surely you can see that you provide US with more amusement when YOU are starved of it

When am I allowed to be happy.

No problem! I know great solution to this. Famous tumblr clown Gaudy is in town tonight! We all go watch, the clown shuffle and dance in the clown cage, and we throw old moldy potatoes! Great fun! Will for sure cheer you up. I give you moldy potato, we throw them together, no?

NOT THE MOLDY POTATOES PLEASE NO MORE POTATOE I AM COVERED IN POTATOE BRUISE