only success can fail me now

[transcription cause it’s a tiny image]

11.10.99 Emily asks: What is the sleaziest thing you've witnessed in the music industry?

Carrie: Well aside from Courtney Love punching Kathleen Hanna.... we went to a party put on by this big label (I can't say their name because we could get sued) and there was this orgy that we were asked to participate in. Everyone's band name was put in a hat and then they drew the names out two at a time. Then you were supposed to go into the Red Room' with this other band. The Red Room was equipped with beds, mirrors, hand cuffs, you name it. The executives from the label sat in chairs in the corner of the room so that they could observe the action. When alas they drew 'Sleater-Kinney' from the hat we held our breath, waiting eagerly to see who we were to be paired off with. What name would he draw? Slowly, his hand recoiled from the brim of the hat, I couldn't quite make out the name through the smoke. Then, as if in a dream, I heard him saying it through the microphone, the words came slowly........."Dave Mathews Band"

12.4.99 Happy Fan asks: Dear Carrie, oh you little half truth teller you. I almost let you poison all of your adoring fans' minds again but I couldn't let this one slip by. People, Carrie has been lying to you! For reals! It wasn't "The Dave Matthews Band" that Sleater-Kinney had to go in the Red Room with. That is total bullshit! Carrie and Corin were begging Dave Matthews to get down with them but he declined because he is a gentlemen who loves his girlfriend. The truth is that the band Sleater-Kinney were paired up with was Quasi! Yes, that's right! The two C's were mauling that poor guy in the corner while Janet, bless her heart, was trying her damnedest to feel herself up. It was a troubling scene. By the way, the "big" label Carrie referred to was Polymax, who released the Big soundtrack if you remember. Soooooo funny, Carrie. Sorry, no one appreciates your elitist references. My question is: Are you going to play Topeka soon? I love your band.