Not Built for Happy Ends

roasty toasty

@harmonicrecord​: 🔥 + Goal

“She’s the perfect woman for me. It’s like we were made for each other - we’re soulmates! She is the one and only soulmate for this amazing man known as Rufus, who is me.”  

@harmonicrecord​: If Rufus could change one (1) law of physics, which one would he choose?

“As if I’d go with you anyway. I’d rather have all my ribs broken.”

That wasn’t far from the current situation right now. Argus was sure at least a few ribs were broken by this point.

“Pshhhh, you’re saying that like my plan can’t accomplish exactly that. If you want your ribs broken, I can do that.”

“And exactly what would your next perfect plan be? Grow wings and fly or shoot yourself out of a canon with three tons of gunpowder? The main cable is gone and there are no other cable boats left. There is no way up there anymore.”

Argus found enough strength to at least sit up as he continued to try and knock some sense into Rufus. Why he felt the urge to do so, he’s not very sure.

Rufus didn’t spare Argus a glance, but his expression still twisted into a downright childish pout as he replied, “Maybe? So what?”

Those ideas were actually kind of rad, which only served to annoy Rufus further because he hadn’t thought of them first, and it was him who was the plan guy! He was definitely going to mentally file both of those plans away both of those plans for later use, but Argus did not have to know that, ever.

anonymous: A roomba arrives for Rufus, carrying with it a bag of gummy worms.

The Roomba arrives back where it came from exactly as it’d left, sans gummy worms.

On second glance, no, it has been altered. It appears someone taped a cup to it. There’s some residual brown fluid, coffee judging by the smell, inside. Fill the cup?

-> Yes.

“Even now you’re still delusional? There is no next time. The sooner you finally accept it the sooner you can perish in peace.”

“Right, because everything right just lets you end up back here in the dirt where you belong. Of course.”

“The only thing I should’ve done different was I should’ve kicked your ass harder. Then we- I wouldn’t be in this situation,” Rufus grumbled, crossing his arms. It looked ridiculous with the way he was lying down, and only reminded him of the fact that his body was in a huge amount of pain. Oops.

“Now what? There’s nothing left. Now we just rot away on this miserable planet. Congratulations on dooming us both.”

“This is your mess!” Rufus snapped, though he didn’t turn his head to snap in Argus’ direction. If he kept perfectly still (which was impossible while talking, but he had thoughts to share that Argus needed to hear) the throbbing pain in his skull was almost possible to ignore. “I did everything right this time!”

He grimaced. The sight wasn’t too unfamiliar. The cable was cut, sure, but only half his brilliant plans ever required him to utilise that thing anyway. Granted, none of them had worked, but that fact hadn’t stopped him from trying again so far, and he’d gotten so close...

Argus quickly pushed him off and soon collapsed to the floor. Ok maybe he needs an hour instead of a few moments.

While he was there he could at least get more of a look around. Especially in the sky. There he saw it, Elysium yet no longer tethered by the high boat cable. No connection to it whatsoever.

Perhaps if someone close by paid close enough attention, they’d notice Argus looked somewhat defeated.

Rufus tumbled back onto the ground from the push, much more gracefully than Argus of course, with a whimper that he hoped went unheard.

He’d interpret the other’s lack of response as a victory for himself. The conflict was over as far as Rufus was concerned (and he’d won), which meant there was nothing left to prove and he could simply keep lying where he was, wheezing softly, the sound of which covered up the “I thought so” muttered under his breath.