"It warms the cockles of my heart"

Titanic where everything is the same but winona ryder plays Jack and we get to see her and Kate winslet fall in love

And they survive in the end because they’re not fucking dumb like a man and both get on the goddamn piece of floating wood amen

“Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney’s funniest bit” is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure and I will not stand for it

The overlooking of “The One Thing You Can’t Replace” is a criminal act.

HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA AIRLINES????

Bill Clinton Never Forgets A Bitch, Ever

The responses to this post have been so amazing because it’s reminded me, and I’m sure many others, of just how many hilarious bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd

okay, but eighth graders

….. could be a nursery.

being 12 years old on anotger continent is a great alibi

“Why buy the cow, question mark?”

THAT TALL CHILD LOOKS TERRIBLE

LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN, HE GOT FEMININE HIPS

hello? HUSH

Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.

Craig and Stacia are looking for a two-story A-frame that’s near Craig’s job in the downtown but also satisfies Stacia’s need to be near the beach which is nowhere near Craig’s job! With three children and nine on the way, and a max budget of $7, let’s see what Lori Jo can do on this week’s episode of You Don’t Deserve a Beach House!

On Law and Order they can't say the F word, but people will walk around being like "looks like the victim had anal contusions"

just a reminder that they were roommates

oh my god, they were roommatesss