terven bug

i've outlined in a past post my opinion on the concept of pedophilia (thanks to tumblr's useless search function I can't find the post) but regardless, I subscribe to the model of human sexuality that goes as follows: it is so obviously socially constructed and conditioned there is really no point in arguing it is innate, and innate/'biological' arguments feed directly into reactionary sentiment surrounding sexuality. probably preaching to the choir here but felt the need to clarify regardless.

patriarchal societies (and resulting "family units") have widespread issues with child sexual abuse and sexuality. it has been stated before that incestuous abuse is an inevitable result of patriarchal family structure--especially with the role of the father. at the same time, there exists this persistent sexual shame and repression that--especially when coupled with entitlement--is a breeding ground for depravity. these things seem contradictory on the surface: everyone knows of the nefarious pedophile, but victims of sexual abuse (especially children) (especially if the perpetrator is a family member) are so often failed by law enforcement and peers alike when they try to do everything 'correctly'. everyone insists they hate pedophiles and rapists but the second that shadowy cartoon villain image is shattered by reality, they refuse to accept it. the reality is simple: perpetrators of such crimes are more likely to be someone you know, someone you trust, even someone you love. there are also common misconceptions about csa that I do hold the "innate" model of pedophilia accountable for: not enough people are aware that an adult can sexually abuse both children and adults, and be "attracted" to both. while some offenders may have a preferred age, they are still opportunists, and not all are wealthy or respected enough to have preferences in victims like those in the epstein files. I put "attracted" in quotes earlier because the way people who commit sex crimes are approached in most related research is frankly stupid as hell and it's very hard to take any of it seriously. or "interviews with pedophiles". to me this is about as useful and insightful as true crime content. oh well, it'll still be taken far more seriously by society at large than anything i'm saying here will, because terms like "feminism" and "social construct" are scary buzzwords to many.

now this is where I may upset people. a lot of discourse surrounding incest and pedophilia is extremely online. like i'm going to be so completely honest, I do not give a fuck if someone watches an anime with incest in it, or engages in some sort of sexual roleplay with another adult. do I think lolicon and shotacon are particularly helpful additions to society? no. but these did not appear out of nowhere as some sort of conspiracy to make people abuse children. rather, they feed into already existing power structures. cart before the horse type of situation. anime in particular gets a lot of flack for its themes but the men making whatever media you find acceptable will form secret societies, blackmail each other, and even travel internationally for the opportunity to rape children so perhaps the reality is capitalism and patriarchy reward this behavior universally.

the current attitude towards victims of csa/incest is hostile and far removed from reality and my recommendation is reading about how average people and the legal system actually react to these cases in real life. about how there are entire organizations whose purpose is defending child abusers. it's ironic, isn't it? how the fuck do you get to such a point, where "pedophile" is such a horrible thing to be, but the money and legal power sure seems to paint a very different picture? this is again where I mention the 'very online' phenomenon. a lot of outrage you see online is performative. I feel like as social media use becomes more common, this will be more and more of an issue. we have a unique ability today to hear from and communicate with more people than ever before. with that comes consequences if you do take internet algorithms driven by engagement as accurate portrayals of wider communities offline. remember outrage drives engagement. you are more likely to see something online that pisses you off. maybe it'll even be this post today.

father-daughter incest is the most commonly reported. this is only as "natural" as the concept of the nuclear family.

You are going to constantly be told--both explicitly and implicitly through constant propaganda and social conditioning--that finding a male mate is natural, healthy, and the secret key to a rich and full life. You WILL be beaten over the head with the concept that as long as you stubbornly and childishly refuse men, your only choice is to live a sad, unfulfilling, half-life.

But think about it. Of course men are going to try their hardest to woo you back into servitude!! They were getting the best deal ever and you were getting totally scammed. Btw, he knows that he had the better end of the deal (even if he complains that women have it easier), so he looks down on you because he thinks you're stupid and naive for getting tricked by him. When your boyfriend acts distant and unloving it's because he is.

Remember: everything men say is projection, especially when it's about women. When a man (or a male-allied woman) tells you you'll be sad and alone if you don't want to get married, that's pure projection. HE would be unfulfilled and alone because you were supplying all of the spark and personality and excitement in the relationship. But you'll be fine.

Because despite this unflinching misogyny and general horrible treatment of others, they are just all allowed to get away with it. Their low-needs autism is used as a shield to excuse the fact that they treat others like shit. "He just doesn't understand boundaries" is used to describe a 30 year old man with low support needs who groped a woman or continued trying to flirt with her after she explicitly said she wasn't interested.

Meanwhile, women with the same support needs or even HIGHER are constantly told that they're being bitchy and rude. That they need to learn social cues or how to better communicate with others, even women for whom that isn't possible. Because you can't expect everyone to communicate at your level or forgive you for being bad at socializing constantly. Yet, people do this for autistic men all of the time? Curious.

so it'd cover abuse from transfems directed towards women (e.g. "i'm just a dumb puppygirl i'm not a bigot!") and specifically transmen as well (e.g. "you're a man you can't experience misogyny")

Gender transition is that for leftist men. Both groups treat it like a rebirth. The fact that I’ve heard TIMs defend the shitty behavior of other TIMs by saying they were just acting out and were frustrated because they haven’t discovered their true self or started estrogen. The defense of Jax from TADC, which I refuse to watch, I’ve seen more than enough posts about that stupid show. The people who had a 4chan “phase” who refuse to be accountable for any past (is it really past?) bigotries or people they hurt.