“3.5 servings per can” me, eating the whole can: interesting

i would get married solely for the dress and the attention 

“can i ask you something?” my immediate reply says “go for it" but my mind has already gone through the seven stages of grief

in cutthroat kitchen the challenge in spaghetti and meatballs and this guy buys a sabotage to take away all of 1 ingredient from any chef. so he takes away this lady’s garlic. and everyone’s like “why the fuck did you not take her pasta” and he’s like “i know what i’m doing”. when the judge gets to that lady’s dish (and this was her only sabotage) he’s like “this is really underseasoned i’m not tasting any garlic or seasonings you’d expect from spaghetti and meatballs” and the camera just zooms in on the guy grinning. goddamn

*seductively takes DS stylus out of mouth like a cigarette* So… i heard you like Pokemon…..

HOW MANY PEOPLE WORK THERE OMG

“be careful with my emotional baggage,” i say. “it’s designer.”

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

I can’t believe people can get the point across with crackers.