Preston: Behold, the fields in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

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Preston: Behold, the fields in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

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Nikki: The term girlfriend implies the existence of a girlfoe.
Nikki: This is a service I am willing to provide.
Nikki: Do birds ever get sad that they don’t have arms?
Gwen: Do you get sad that you don’t have wings?
Nikki: Every day.
Nurf: Why are you sad?
Max: I don’t know.
Nurf: So just for no reason?
Max: Oh no, there is a reason. I’m just not sure which one it is this time.
Nerris: Y’know what? Y’all are right. Boys are dumb. Like, absolute idiots. I should know. Because I’m dating one of them.
Harrison: offended noises

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Nikki: Soup that tastes great is souper.
Max: May I interest you in a bowl of canned you not?
Neil: facepalms
David: How do you feel about kids?
Gwen: I mean, they’re okay? If I saw one, I wouldn’t throw a rock at it.
David: Why would you throw a rock at a child?!
Gwen: I just said I wouldn’t!
Nurf: You need to stop mixing Shakespearean English with modern English. It’s confusing.
Preston: I swear to the heavens, if’t be true thee sayeth one more word, I’ll yeet thee across this cubiculo.
Nurf: What the fuck.
Neil: You promised you wouldn’t get me bees again.
Nikki, from a distance: Just open it.
Dolph: Can I be frank with you guys?
Nurf: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Space Kid: Can I still be Space Kid?
Nikki: Shh, let Frank speak.

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[cult camp]
Daniel: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you!
[arrival of the torso takers]
Daniel: Fool me twice, I’m gonna kill you!
[camp loser says what?]
Daniel: Fool me thrice, I’m gonna- oh hey, Antartica!
Max: Bitches be like “I’m baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect. Like, what the fuck do you know about being baby? You were forced to grow up from an early age.
Max: Anyways, I’m bitches.
Gwen: Y’know, honestly at this point?
Gwen: No one gives me butterflies anymore.
Gwen: Everyone just gives me brain damage.
Max: After realizing you’re terrible, most people are like “no thanks”, but a few people stick around.
Max: Because they’re dumb.
Max: And that’s what friends are.
Max: Meeting new people sucks. I never know what to say.
David: Just be yourself! Say something nice!
Max: Which one? I can’t do both.

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[max practiced self-care!]
[it didn’t work...]
Nerris: Do you think different laundry detergents have different tastes?
Max/Nikki: They do.
Gwen: Why did you say that with such certainty?