deep care

So many feminists on radblr right now are furious that women won't go on a sex strike to draw attention to the overturning of roe, and they act like it's because straight/bi women are slaves to dick. Please don't forget that many, many women engage in and even initiate sex in order to "ward off" rape or sexual assault by their partners. This is often a compulsive behavior that women refuse to acknowledge or analyze, it's a product of trauma and fear. By initiating sex or refusing to say no without ever asking whether or not they realistically want to have this sex, women are able to tell themselves that they are in control of when they can and cannot say yes. This doesn't even mean that all of these women are actively being abused-- a huge amount of women develop this pattern simply from picking up on the rape culture we live in, it can be developed after a single incident, whatever, and the behavior is continued with all/most male partners. The unconscious reasoning is that "you can't rape the willing"-- this is a huge part of why sexually abused women can become hypersexual. If you demand that women go on a sex strike, in their minds you are asking them to give up a tool they have developed to ensure that they are not raped, whether they realize it or not; I'm sure you can see why there would be vehement pushback.

" I don’t think feminists talk enough about the politics of men cheating and how the patriarchal myth of romantic love ruins women’s lives." ty for saying this. I didn't realize how badly I needed to hear someone say this until this moment. I feel like I don't have a right to be as hurt, and especially as ANGRY, as I am about this. It is so intensely cruel to expect women to put up with this.

“healing is such a lonely and intimate process. it requires you being your own friend on some days, being your biggest cheerleader in certain moments and spending quality time with your wounds— but it is all so necessary.”

good things

“I’m too exhausted to explain my soul to someone again.”

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you