Delirium

im getting out of here alive (my twenties)

no more stress thanks, i’m full

holds the door for women because im a girl gentleman

When people compare the greatness that is The Simpsons to other animated shows like Family Guy it makes me want to set myself on fire

I went on a date last year and jokingly said “Don’t ask me I’m just a girl” and giggled at a 35 year old man thinking he’d get the reference and instead he said “that’s what I like to hear.”

#that is when you start shoving breadsticks in your purse

I want a barbie that craves vengeance.

Reblog if your Barbie craves vengeance

"are you okay?" NO i've been the same height since i was 14

my parents were like im going to make a daughter that is so beyond help