March through the red mist

Ringtone

person b: *pulls receipts*

Ronan Keating - If Tomorrow Never Comes ■ Emilie Autumn - Save You ■ No Doubt - Simple Kind of Life ■ Leona Lewis - Run ■ Butterfly Coma - My Silent Call ■ Lana Del Rey - Dark Paradise ■ Deftones - Change (In The House of Flies) ■ Robbie Williams - Angels ■ Evanescence - My Immortal ■ Within Temptation - Memories ■ Guys and Dolls - I’ve Never Been In Love Before ■ Shinedown - Call Me ■ Take That - Rule the World ■ Avril Lavigne - When You’re Gone ■ Sheryl Crow - Safe & Sound ■ Phil Collins - You’ll Be In My Heart

Originally posted by astrology-gifs

❝How am I supposed to walk around with a taut sphincter now for the next twenty five hours.❞ ❝I’ve learned the importance of being cuddled.❞ ❝Put a stamp on my forehead. Shits getting real!❞ ❝Baths are amazing, especially when you bring a friend.❞ ❝Here’s a ring pop, baby. It’s you favorite flavor: divorce!❞ ❝Jesus, you gotta wine and dine me first. You can’t just open up with that shit.❞ ❝What, you wanna try diplomacy? He’s a fucking crab!❞ ❝‘Bonfire’ is made up of two words: ‘bonf’ and ‘ire.’❞ ❝Is this whole game a Christian allegory for redemption?❞ ❝God, no one get’s tail like jugglers, man.❞ ❝These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed.’❞ ❝Hold on to your tits, everyone. This is happening.❞ ❝_______, as I was about to say, revenge is a dish best served fuck you.❞ ❝Oh man you little tumble weed fuck get back here.❞ ❝When someone says ‘just fuck me up’ on the internet that means have sex with me in a rough, passionate manner, correct?❞ ❝This feels so slippery. This is like sliding a wet sandwich down a hill with your tongue.❞ ❝I love you. I love your fucking brain.❞ ❝Yeah, you can feel me. Any fuckin’ time you want, dude. I am right here next to you. Just waiting.❞ ❝Young man, there’s no need to feel sass. I said young man, stick your hand in my ass.❞ ❝His parents aren’t home and he’s invited me over! I can’t wait to get fucked!❞ ❝Water is just… air juice.❞ ❝Any self-respecting baby would be in awe of my parenting skills right now.❞ ❝I moved to Madagascar… where my best friend was a SLOTH!❞ ❝Holy shitfuck, great balls of fire.❞ ❝I have to take off my jacket because I’m getting hot because this sucks so bad.❞ ❝Who wears pants anymore? So 2015.❞ ❝I’m in a totally different spot now. Like a spot I wasn’t before.❞ ❝I hate playing games with you.❞ ❝Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’❞ ❝As long as I live, I will never stop loving your random bursts of outrage.❞ ❝Um, did you see how strong his bullet was?❞ ❝I love watching you guys suffer.❞ ❝Be honest and faithful to your loved ones. And second to that…be fucking radical as shit.❞ ❝I’m gonna touch somebody’s butt, and I don’t know who it’s gonna be.❞