Peter the Unicorn

if I saw a portal i would enter it no questions asked

I literally did this in a dream and the portal took me to Hell.

When people compare the greatness that is The Simpsons to other animated shows like Family Guy it makes me want to set myself on fire

I went on a date last year and jokingly said “Don’t ask me I’m just a girl” and giggled at a 35 year old man thinking he’d get the reference and instead he said “that’s what I like to hear.”

#that is when you start shoving breadsticks in your purse

I want a barbie that craves vengeance.

@unilady99 G I Joe

@leviathis-krade No, no. You misunderstand. G I Joe already craves vengeance. I want a doll made for girls that didn't originally crave vengeance but now does. Because then I could give her an amazing backstory.

When people compare the greatness that is The Simpsons to other animated shows like Family Guy it makes me want to set myself on fire

I went on a date last year and jokingly said “Don’t ask me I’m just a girl” and giggled at a 35 year old man thinking he’d get the reference and instead he said “that’s what I like to hear.”

#that is when you start shoving breadsticks in your purse

I want a barbie that craves vengeance.

I love it. I'll buy them all.

as long as i strike terror into the hearts of my enemies what does it matter what my “gender” is

i don’t identify as “male” or “female” i identify as a threat

Holy shit. This is amazing. Absolutely beautiful. Fantastic. I love it.

everyone talks about minding their business on tumblr and I reblog the posts and shit but I’m a fake. I’m the nosiest bitch on the planet I will beg for info I wanna know the full story with details

Cuz we stan

I fought mr. walm himself in a walmart parking lot

Did you win, Fish?

oh, ‘fish’ was my old name. from now on please call me mr. walm

Did you marry the original mr. walm or did you kill him and steal his identity?

do you ever just ‘there’s probably something medically wrong with me but i’m just gonna ignore it and hope i don’t die’?

PSA: Halloween is pretty much here and it only takes on second to send a sick child in the hospital a Spook-o-gram. The best part about this is that $1 gets donated to CHLA’s Helping Hand fund each time you send one out. So let’s help some kids have a spectacular Halloween by sending them spook-o-grams and helping cause!!

This literally costs nothing but your time so please do it, you could make a kids Halloween.

When people compare the greatness that is The Simpsons to other animated shows like Family Guy it makes me want to set myself on fire

I went on a date last year and jokingly said “Don’t ask me I’m just a girl” and giggled at a 35 year old man thinking he’d get the reference and instead he said “that’s what I like to hear.”

#that is when you start shoving breadsticks in your purse

I want a barbie that craves vengeance.

I completely forgot about that movie. You just put the full fear of barbie in me. An inanimate vengeance craving barbie will be fine.

When people compare the greatness that is The Simpsons to other animated shows like Family Guy it makes me want to set myself on fire

I went on a date last year and jokingly said “Don’t ask me I’m just a girl” and giggled at a 35 year old man thinking he’d get the reference and instead he said “that’s what I like to hear.”

#that is when you start shoving breadsticks in your purse

I want a barbie that craves vengeance.