decoloniszing our bookshelves

My body and mind and even nervous system are stretched to the point that it's going to take a lot more than just a "break" or a few self care tips to recover, and even then, my recovery is just so that I can reenter the spaces that contributed to me being this way in the first place. I'm a little bit more than just burnt out by this.

Workplaces and educational institutions aggressively overwork us, expose us to all kinds of discrimination, which they overlook and gaslight us out of acknowledging, and then constantly ask us to ignore our mental, emotional, and physical needs so that we don't inconvenience them.

We're not burnt out. We're borderline traumatized. Burnout is always talked about like something transient and mild that a little rest and relaxation will fix.

You’re forced to use sick time for doctor’s appointments when your manager is not

You’re given “comp” time for mandatory overtime

You’re denied a raise because “we offer better benefits here than other places so you actually come out ahead”

Your benefits are actually paltry compared to your supervisor’s, who gets to be in a higher benefit tier that no longer exists

You’re doing way more than 40 hours a week because they have you on salary and overtime “doesn’t apply” to you

Your supervisor/company schedules meetings over lunch time and break time so that even though you technically have that time available to use, you never get to use it when you need/want to

Happy Trans Day of Visibility! I’m full of trans rage and I hope you are too! show solidarity by punching a T*RF in the face!

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the next panel has text reading: “I’m a by the book trans fag, one day a lil catholic girl…… the next a gay trans anarchist punk with satanist vibes…”. Drawings accompany the text. The first is of a nervous Matteo with long straight hair, layered long sleeved shirts, a cross necklace, and his arms behind his back. An arrow points to another drawing of Matteo. He now has a long mullet in a half-bun and stubble. He has earrings and a pentagram necklace and he wears a jacket with several patches and spikes over a hoodie. He looks to the left with a frown. Small text in the middle reads: “LOL this is what transgenderism does to your kids! *makes out with men*”.

the third panel shows a close side view of Matteo from the second drawing of the previous panel, except he is now wearing a mask with a teeth pattern and has his hair down from the half bun. a patch on the side of his jacket shows a combo of the trans and anarchist symbol. there are clouds behind him. he looks towards the camera. Text beside him reads: “There have been a lot of people who made me feel like shit for who I am, which is why I dedicate my time to making my community feel less pain. I no longer give a shit what people say about me anymore.”

the drawing in this panel is of him turned to the side, back with the half-bun and only wearing the hoodie. he is shaking and frowning. Text to the side reads: “Not many people understand how crushing the societal stress of being trans is. Depending on the level of marginalizations we have, we may have to self-police ourselves in multiple ways (race, class, ability). I choose to be out and open with my identity because I know that I am able to when so many aren’t. I want to give courage to those less visible.”

In the next panel, the background has turned black except for the space surrounding Matteo. He has the jacket back and is frowning determinedly towards the front. Text reads: “Visibility is my work, Trans Rage is my Lifeline.” The words “trans rage” are in the trans flag colors and “lifeline” is in bright red.

[ Link to survey ]

Are you non-binary? Would you like to contribute towards research into non-binary experiences of language?

I am looking for participants to take part in my research project into the impact of language on non-binary people. I am researching the effects of not finding the right words to describe ourselves and what happens when we do find them.

Participants are asked to fill in an online survey that is anonymous and will take around 20 minutes to complete. The survey will ask how you describe yourself and your gender; what you would do if you couldn’t find a suitable phrase for your identity and how that feels; how it feels when your gender terms and pronouns are used correctly and whether you’ve ever experienced any negative sentiment from others towards your gender identity.

The information you provide will be anonymised from the start; there will be no way to identify if you’ve participated or what your answers where. Data will be stored in accordance with GDPR on storage owned by The University of Birmingham. After the survey closes, the data will be analysed ready to inform my thesis entitled: The importance of self-definition and the negative impact of explanatory gaps on non-binary individuals in their use of self-descriptive language.

I am specifically seeking participants who identify as a gender under the umbrella term of non-binary. Owing to the scope of the research, cisgender or binary trans* individuals do not qualify for this survey.

The survey opens 1st March 2021 and aims to close 30th May 2021 and is being run through Microsoft Forms. No login is required to complete the survey. Participation in this study is entirely voluntary and it is up to you whether you choose to take part. Depending on the number of responses received the survey may close earlier.

The survey can be found here.

THIS.

I say this as a white person who learned Spanish as a second language, I don’t think it is.

It’s kind of up there with “cracker” and “colonizer”, like it could hurt your feelings and gringo can be pretty personal, but it’s not a slur to me.

I don’t really have any deep thoughts on it but since you asked I’ll try and explain my reasoning

To me, a gringo is a specific type of ignorant or ethnocentric, white (usually American) person with a very specific attitude. Almost like a very specific kind of Karen.

Otherwise it’s a default word for “these white people who come in and think they own the place”, sort of just as an assumption

Like yeah maybe you might get called a gringo, but you’re still white so like the worst that happens is you get your feelings hurt. 

To me a slur is different. 

A slur is more... emblematic of the kind of treatment you’re used to getting, it’s nasty and it’s very personal, insulting a thing you can’t change and didn’t ask for in a world that devalues the thing that slur refers to. 

With gringo it’s more like... It’s not you being oppressed, it’s not something your ancestors have been called to put them down or to excuse the cruel treatment they received, you were never called that growing up by the rest of society at large, it’s not a word that even people in your community use as a way to make themselves seem superior. Gringo was never used in a way to make people feel bad about their skin or to make them feel ugly by society at large, gringo doesn’t mean less desirable, it doesn’t imply something about your reputation, it doesn’t carry a stereotype about your temperament or your sexual activities, it’s not a term people use to make assumptions about your lack of intelligence or level of civilization, and it’s not a term that people would use to describe an entire civilization or country as less than or other

It’s also not indicative of anything systematic. Maybe someone’s been called a gringo by their fellow classmates and bullied, maybe your coworkers call you a gringo and it doesn’t feel nice, but the world at large doesn’t call you a gringo or insult your whiteness or treat whiteness as less than. 

In fact, depending on where you live and your social circle, you could go your whole life without being called a gringo by anyone, ever. And you could even be the majority or the assumed majority across great portions of the world

People who have been called slurs related to their skin color, sexuality and gender identity, disabilities etc can’t often change or hide those parts of themselves, those parts of them are a part of them, sometimes physically obvious and it follows them. 

A white person might get called a gringo in school, but move them to a different school and it might not happen. That’s not the same experience for people who are seen as different for whatever reason.

They will always be assumed to be the minority, and most receive different treatment socially, professionally, medically, romantically, and by their own friends and family, in government and in regards to their legal rights - sometimes just to exist - and it happens on a grand systematic scale

So, no. I don’t think of gringo as a slur. I think of gringo as punching up, while a slur is punching down

وأعطتنْي زينبَ وعُمَرْ رغم أنف القبيلةْ

وعندما كنتُ أسألُها : لماذا؟ كانت تأخُذُني كالطفل إلى صدرها وتُتَمْتِمْ لأنكَ انت قبيلتي

she married me, in spite of the tribe and she traveled with me, in spite of the tribe and she gave me zaynab and omar, in spite of the tribe

and when I used to ask her why she would take me, like a child, against her chest and say “because you are my tribe”

— nizar qabbani

افدي قمراً لاحعلينا وتلالأ ما احسنه رب تبارك وتعالى قد حل بروحي فتداعفت حياة واليوم نأى عني عزاً وجالاً ادعوه سراراً واناديه جهاراً ان ابدلي الصبوة طيفاً وخيالاً لو قطعني دهري لا زات انادي كي تخترق الحجب ويروين وصلاً لا مل من العشق لو مر قرون حاشاه مللاً بي حاشاي مللاً العاشق حوت وهوى العشق كبحر هل مل إذا ما سكن الحوب زلالاً؟

Yes! My soul will be sacrificed for you!  You are the full moon. You rise, and you shine.  Praised and glorified be God for that shine!  You invaded my soul, doubled my life.  Then, you left—with that noble pride of thine.  Today, I pray to you in secret, or  I shout out loud these mad love dreams of mine.  Life tears me to pieces, and still I shout:  Pierce through these veils! Let me drink your love’s wine!  Centuries of loving, and he’s never  bored with love. Never will his love decline.  My lover is a whale, and my desire  pure water—an ocean—with no end time.  Can a whale grow bored in a pure ocean?

— jalal ad-din muhammad rumi

I love you as if all hearts were a mirror of mine as if life were invented for my love I love you O how much I deleted from your lips built my heart into a road and a house hung it as a cloud over clouds and how I equated beauty with you and her fantasy sprout and how and how I love you the light in your eyes has withdrawn it has been flooded our hair like drifts of snow poured on your shoulders braided, tied or loose I feel time has melted in my eyelids solidified and tumbled like silence.

— adonis

Your eyes are two palm tree forests in early light, Or two balconies from which the moonlight recedes When they smile, your eyes, the vines put forth their leaves, And lights dance … like moons in a river Rippled by the blade of an oar at break of day; As if stars were throbbing in the depths of them … And they drown in a mist of sorrow translucent Like the sea stroked by the hand of nightfall; The warmth of winter is in it, the shudder of autumn, And death and birth, darkness and light; A sobbing flares up to tremble in my soul And a savage elation embracing the sky, Frenzy of a child frightened by the moon. It is as if archways of mist drank the clouds And drop by drop dissolved in the rain … As if children snickered in the vineyard bowers, The song of the rain Rippled the silence of birds in the trees … Drop, drop, the rain Drip Drop the rain