knives are too informal

we have to work together to commodify every event and opinion in the current zeitgeist

I am going to [remembers that jokes about suicide are detrimental to myself and others] Scarborough Fair.

oh cool can u get me parsley sage rosemary and thyme while ur there please?

i've searched every combination of words imaginable and i still can't find that gif of the german star trek parody where gay spock is quickly drinking coffee and smoking freaking out PLEASE send it to me i need it urgently

i think it's important for most people's mental health to have a space where they can safely and unashamedly express being horny and i don't mean milquetoast tongue-in-cheek "oh step on me mommy" jokes or whatever i mean capital h Horny

We all got that one mutual that be going through the most treacherous situations a person could endure and then posting a few minutes later about why such and such should get fucked through a concrete wall.

when brandon sanderson talks about villains in his famous free youtube writing class video lectures he'll say 'what's the difference between gollum and sauron' and of course he means the villain that's present in the narrative and characterized in a way the audience can potentially relate to or sympathize with vs. the looming threatening anonymous far-off force (among other things). but every time he asks that i think 'well one of those guys tracked down frodo and got his ring back'

what's your "if I won the lottery I wouldn't tell anyone but there would be signs" thing? mine is getting a fully green kitchen

This may sound preachy, but if you’re in your teens or 20s please take care to develop the habit of speaking positively about people behind their backs. Gossip is unavoidable, and yes it does allow people to bond, and yes some people deserve to be shit talked. But I think being negative about things is literally just nature, whereas trying to be positive about things and people is a quality you have to be very intentional about . If this does not apply to you, good for you. But for most people I think it does. Im not lauding toxic positivity so much as saying that if there’s space to speak positively about someone behind their back, it’s better to take that route.

plus a lot of the time, talking about a person when they're not there still can get back to them. and hearing the nice things people say about you when you're not around? that can change someone's whole day. hell, once i heard a coworker i barely talk to considers me one of the most reliable people to go to for questions because i'm good at answering them in a way that makes sense. i've been riding that high for months.

Please don’t take your pets for granted. Even if you’re frustrated that your dog has been barking all day or your bird has been screaming for attention, remember you are all they have in this world. Give your fish that extra water change. Give your dog or cat that tummy rub they’ve been begging for. Chop up some fresh fruit as a treat for your rodents or reptiles. Just spend some time with them. Be compassionate to your animals. They are living creatures that are alive simply because you wish them to be. They may only be a small part in your life, but to them, you are their everything.

i do think the negative interpretations of "im probably nonbinary but i have a job right now" are kind of reaching. it's obviously a waste of time to theorize the op's intended meaning, so instead i think it's better to recognize how the phrase can be a useful framing device to criticize how much of a fucking hassle it is to get gendered correctly. "but i have a job" e.g. will face discrimination that could threaten livelihood; e.g. don't have the mental bandwidth to explain gender to others; e.g. don't have the time and energy for the soul-searching necessary to confirm. all three of these are labor issues. yes you could interpret it as "but being nonbinary isn't important enough to worry about", despite that being a blatantly bad-faith read. it's more useful to interpret it as "but being publicly nonbinary requires a lot of social effort that, in many cultural contexts, will create more problems that you can't afford to deal with". like cmon it's a really good jumping off point for productive conversations about queer labor rights