my delusions are coming back, and honestly I hope they stay this time.
I am better than the need for food, or affection, or contact, I am godly in my own right and I will prove it.
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Noah Kahan
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@decayforhim
my delusions are coming back, and honestly I hope they stay this time.
I am better than the need for food, or affection, or contact, I am godly in my own right and I will prove it.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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my partner said I'd been a huge dick to them all day and I don't even know what I did wrong ???
or I guess I didn't see any of it as wrong. I don't fucking know anymore.
I'm so sick of myself.
Things don't feel real unless they hurt or are uncertain.
I need to feel my skin split open, I need to feel the blood drip, the shaking hands and dizzy head
I need it.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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My body doesnt look real and i do not recognise it in the mirror
Some would say I'm a cluster-b cluster-fuck :)
normalize not knowing how the fuck people have the energy or 'empathy' to care about most other people. Don't you get tired?
Psychosis is so much more than hallucinations and delusions.
It's disorganizing phrases and sentences. Instead of saying "I lost my bag" you end up saying "I bag my lost".
It's saying something out loud and hearing it echo in your head, only to completely forget what you said, or why.
It's lacking words and the ability to organize them in a sentence so that they make sense.
It's thinking you wrote something only to find out you wrote something else.
It's suddenly losing track of what you were telling someone, or thinking.
It's unknowingly misreading words, somehow sensing the sentence doesn't make sense, reading it again and realizing you read half the word or a completely different word.
It's your mind going blank and feeling a need to stay still and stare at nothing in particular.
It's repeating words and phrases for no apparent reason.
It's having an insight or remembering something you want/have to do only to lose it within seconds.
It's not being able to tell if something actually happened or it was a dream.
It's not being able to tell if a memory was a dream, a made up story/memory, or an actual situation in which you were experiencing positive symptoms.
It's losing track of time, feeling it goes too slow or too fast, or that it freezes.
i simply was not designed to know stability or safety in this lifetime. when god crafted me, they made me from the cracked bones of long-dead carcasses and the flesh of those already festering. i was made solely to rot for as long as i stand.

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I'm so fucking tired but there's so much to do, I just want to sleep all day and keep the dread of waking up just out of reach.
Lost weight after purging, #win
I ate around 800 cal today and it just makes me want to die, I want to purge, cut or both. I'm so fucking useless even to myself.
Im not well
I fucking hate being autistic w npd and aspd, especially with low to zero empathy because when people belittle me or baby me when I don't mask my traits I get so angry that I want to literally rip them to shreds even if/when they mean well. The rage is palpable.
I'M A FUCKING ADULT, RESPECT AND TREAT ME LIKE ONE.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I am delusional and I think it's important you all know that ...
I'm so fucking pissed all i want is to drink but it's too early according to my stupid roommate so ig I'll just die