dude stop before i develop a strange and powerful fondness for you

this makes more sense if you assume both are the same body of water but the time between the statements is about 50 million years

you’re right, that’s significantly less weird

i bless the bonnie over africa

The bonnie is in geosychronous orbit, thus over all the Earth’s bodies of water

the bonnie is merely moving very fast, perhaps at hypersonic velocity, relative to the singer

Touch starved… but it’s for a cool autumn breeze.

this girl was showing all the signs of being a secret mermaid so i pushed her into the pool and she turned into a forty foot long mosasaurus which is tbh way cooler

not really sure how to get her out though

for those of you asking why i pushed her into the pool in the first place: i work for a duplicitous small town aquarium and i'm trying to kidnap mermaids to jump through hoops and shit to entertain tourists and make money. fucking obviously. now that i know she's actually a mosasaurus though i Have fallen in pure-hearted love with her

it's easy for me to tell who is possessed by dark spirits and who isnt

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

it is actually so important to me to be alone at my house

Analog horror series about your friend getting a boyfriend

Nobody really knows what makes a person go to bed

i know you said we ride at dawn but i’m not a morning person actually. can we ride after lunch

ooh I got pliny of elder

unfortunately i do believe that every time i delay watching a film it’s because it’s going to find me at the perfect time

you've met me at a very eye emoji time in my life 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Do you wanna go watch the sunlight pierce the leaves of the forest with me?

and like i saw someone with their pictish beast fully off leash at the fishmonger's yesterday fleece mangy as fuck and it was snapping up atlantic mackerels whenever its owner had their back turned i'm telling you it's crazy out here