Dearly Deleted

being a little kid was so funny bc you could literally just say somethint like “I think everybody should get along and share :-)” and all the adults in your life would go oh GODDDD STUUUPIIIIDD!!!!!!!! STUPID FUCKING KID ALERT!! Don’t uou know when you grow up you have to face the Government Mandated 100000 Wild boar Attack

god forbid women do anything

we shouldnt be mean to usamericans, its not their fault. the first time theyre allowed to see the world map is on a very special day - their 25th birthday, when their parents take them to their old study room and pull out an incredible thing - a dusty old globe. thats the first time an usamerican learns other countries exist. their eye sparkle full of awe as they read names like argentina, laos, nigeria, serbia, croatia, tunis, china, turkey, mexico, finland, etc. however, the spell doesnt last long - their parents quickly put away the globe. they dont want their child to get hurt from this realization of other people living on the earth. from now on, it will be their special birthday tradition - seeing that amazing thing once a year.

Nothing on tiktok is this funny

Back when you had six seconds to be creative af with minimal editing

yeaa! wooo *pops the cork out of the bottle and the champagne shoots out and just keeps coming out and we all silently watch it until theres none left and we all just stare at the puddle on the floor catatonically and then leave in our cars and never say anything again for the rest of our lives*

the tiktok being chinese spyware thing is actually true - as we speak xi jinping is collecting tiktoks from the US to create a tiktok cringe compilation bad enough to destroy the biden administration

It's new years eve you know what that means? Absolutely nothing time isn't real

'you wouldn't pirate a-' i would steal anything from any company. anything in the world. i dont even want it i just hate you