king rat in the sheets

NO DAD, air brushing unlicensed images of spongebob smoking weed on to t-shirts and selling them at a boardwalk was YOUR DREAM. i'm going to be a PROJECT MANAGER.

The thing about being a tumblrina is that you provide such valuable contributions to the broader internet ecosystem and you get zero compensation for that. They should be giving us airline miles

YOU STUPID FUCKING DICKHEAD!!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE THROUGH THE x10 GATE NOT THE x2!!!! YOU WON'T HAVE ENOUGH MEN!!! IT'S ALL FUCKED!!!!!!!!

"dont smoke around your pets" okay well i dont even smoke im asthmatic. my dog smokes bc she needs to fucking chill sometimes and Yeah i light them for her Obviously bc she cant use a lighter. i dont get anyrhing out of this arrangment and i resent the implication. in fact shes giving ME secondhand smoke. so my question is why are you so hateful and jugemental and acting like an asshole to me making presumptions and shit about my life.

What. What. What. What.

im gonna pop some.tag

*puts my hand on your shoulder* Don’t worry, I have your back. We’re gonna turn this crisis into a crwaswas

washing machine time to human time converter online

Oh man I can't believe I forgot. You know that post that was like "tell me what clothes you've bought because of a character" or whatever. I searched for ages to find an adequate white cable knit sweater because of Ransom's in knives out.

I don't knit but that's hilarious because this looks like such a complicated pattern for a beginner

Oh it is. There's at least three different styles of cabling. And more advanced cabling at that. That sweater would take me like a year to finish.

All the cabling is done the same way. You just need to read your knitting and keep track of which row you're on

You sound like me telling a beginner crocheter "nah the alligator stitch is easy for a beginner, it's all just double crochets!" (a real thing I have said to people picking up a crochet hook for the first time). I'm not saying you can't start with a complicated stitch I'm saying it's very funny when people do.

basically you should read Judith butler and probably also foucault before you start having any sex imo

this plus bataille/henry corbin/zhuangzi/nag hammadi/left ginza/vimalamitra's commentary on pith instructions/sefer yetzirah/huainanzi & practice shamanic cosmic orbit qigong for 40 years in a mountain cave

DONT do this it makes mustard gas

i fear that some of you take yourselves far too seriously for adults who log into tumblr every day

getting older and weirder and sexier and more perverted and gluttonous and intelligent and blunt and eloquent and spontaneous and skilled is literally what it's all about

cherry bomb voice Hello tumblr hello blog

the most feminine thing you can do is be difficult and violent