Anti Dean Winchester

(Via @marlborodean)

(credit to endiness for the gifs)

let’s discuss these two moments from 15.03 that personally are so unbelievably sickening to me.

on the left we have belphagor, the demon who is possessing jacks corpse, sat next to cas in the car whilst dean is driving. up until this point dean has forced cas to not kill the demon possessing his sons corpse.

the son who, should i remind you, was killed by castiel’s father in front of him. the son who minutes before that was held at gunpoint by dean in front of cas. and through all that? dean only managed to make chuck about him and how nothing in their lives is real completely ignoring that he is cas’ DAD.

so in the situation in the gifs dean told cas to basically stay with belphagor and keep an eye on him, once again with zero regards for how it is affecting cas. and when cas sticks up for himself and says he can’t and that he can’t even look at belphagor, dean has the nerve to roll his eyes. he literally is rolling his eyes that his bestfriend doesn’t want to babysit the demon possessing his sons corpse.

i fully believe this situation was deans way of “punishing” cas for “killing mary”, despite the fact that cas had zero idea mary was gonna die, zero involvement since it was an accident and absolutely zero reason to confide in his sons abuser about his sons potentially worrying behaviour. it’s absolutely abusive and twisted and makes me so fucking angry.

can you imagine if a demon possessed mary’s corpse right afterwards and instead of letting dean and sam exorcise the demon cas forced them to play nice and accept said demon as it “may be useful”?? obviously cas wouldn’t cause he’s not a dick but dean would be so fucking angry but god forbid cas is when dean makes him do exactly that!

as for the gifs on the right, there’s a rift in the earth that leads to hell and one of them had to go and sit by it with belphagor, even though it was extremely risky. without even a second of doubt dean instantly says cas will go. to which cas looks absolutely stunned at, in which dean simply responds “you’ve been to hell before” and with that cas accepts defeat proclaiming on how he doesn’t really have a choice.

dean sending cas to hell with the demon possessing his sons corpse with absolutely no concern on cas’ safety or if cas will even make it out alive is already sick, but then you take into account that cas has severe hell trauma from several occasions of rescues, being tortured and lucifer and it becomes even more sickening.

this was just another way dean could get cas out of his sight and continue “punishing” him, especially since it involved cas having to stay with belphagor. dean had absolutely zero care or regards for cas’ safety and well-being, dean saw himself feeling angry and decided that it’s acceptable for him to act like that because of it. it’s toxic.

then that night when they’re back at the bunker, dean decided to really just drill into cas on how much he fucked up by killing belphagor (which was not easy for him to do at ALL considering that’s his sons body but i digress) and how he should’ve just stuck to the plan - which didn’t even properly exist, said plan was dean wanted cas to literally go to hell and babysit the demon. and then when cas defends himself and explains belphagors plans and that something went wrong dean really had to say why does that something always seem to be you.

so not only did dean spend the day making cas act like a demon possessing his sons corpse’s babysitter and getting annoyed when cas wasn’t comfy with that, sending said demon and cas to hell with no regards for his safety and then ends it all by saying the thing that always goes wrong in their lives is cas, he then gets annoyed when cas leaves. as if he hasn’t done nothing but push cas away for weeks, say he’s dead to him and literally sent him to a possible death with no regards.

So you know how a lot of people just ignore or brush past Dean's abusive actions? I believe a good portion of people who do that are just taking what they are seeing at face value. The only context they use is what is directly in front of them.

For example, Dean tricks Sam into 'real' bacon despite knowing Sam doesn't want to eat that type of bacon.

That you can see as a sibling prank, is it messed up? Yes, but you can forgive it very quickly at face value. Siblings get under each other's skin all the time, that's their dynamic, Dean's just pranking his little brother. Right?

However, when you add in more context, Dean often judges Sam on what he eats. He often will reduce it down to rabbit food and acts very annoyed having to see it even if it doesn't affect him. It's seen as a big gesture when Dean gets Sam food he genuinely likes. Not a big deal on its own, right? Just another Dean quirk, he doesn't like healthy food.

Well, going back to that particular scene, it's established, Dean is pretty in charge of the food, it's why Sam doesn't trust the bacon at first and was proved right. In different episodes and scenes, it's implied Dean is the one who basically runs the kitchen. So he runs the kitchen and the groceries. Interesting.

Again, at face value that doesn't seem like a big deal. However, this is not the only thing Dean gets a big say on in Sam's life.

What is Sam in control of then? Not only for himself but the two of them?

Sam isn't in charge of driving, that's Dean's thing. Did Sam ever drive? Yes, but there were always specific circumstances that led to it. Especially if Sam was driving Baby.

"But Dean's the car guy, so that makes sense."  Okay, well, let's look at some more things Dean gets a say in.

Sam going out and who he contacts. Dean always knows, and if he doesn't, Sam is lectured about keeping secrets. "It's because of Ruby!" Is it? This didn't just occur after that, and it certainly didn't stop long after Ruby was gone.

Dean didn't make a big deal out of it before Ruby, it doesn't mean it wasn't a big deal though. Sam always shared that information beforehand, it was expected. And even years after Ruby was long gone, Sam's whereabouts had to be known at all times.

But let's say that's just Dean feeling betrayed and overprotective.

Well, what about Sam's autonomy and Dean getting the final say in it?

How many times did Dean bring Sam back to life without Sam's consent? Not to mention, he tricked Sam into permitting an angel to use his body as a vessel even when Sam was ready to die, it was Dean who was clinging onto him. Dean knew Sam would rather die than let an angel use him as a vessel. Yet, he still did it, and to fix his mistake, he had to let a demon into Sam's body. 

When Sam asked to die, it was decided to keep him alive because Dean wasn't ready to let go. When Dean asked to die, Sam respected his wishes. More than once. And Dean didn't forgive him for that. (When Sam didn't search for Dean when they had both agreed to quit messing with the balance of life and death. To quit going searching for each other when they've passed.)

Or what about forcefully making Sam detox all at once, and pushing on even though it was a very real possibility of Sam dying. Because Dean would rather his brother be pure and dead rather than tainted and alive.

Now, what does this have to do with my first example, of Dean tricking Sam into eating bacon?

It doesn't seem like a big deal until you realize just how much control Dean has over Sam. From Sam's literal life to his food choices and many things in between. Dean gets a say in it, and more often than less, Dean's say is the final say.

But a lot of these examples are excused because they focus on the context surrounding that season, that episode, that scene. However, all of Dean's actions add up and the more context you add to his behavior the more you start to notice this pattern.

Take their childhood, Sam has a right to mourn the fact that he didn't get a normal childhood. He's allowed to be angry that he didn't get a home, a present father, a stable community, and consistent education. But whenever Sam attempts to express his complicated feelings about his childhood, Dean immediately interprets it as ' oh I was supposed to look out for you. Are you saying I failed? Are you confirming I'm worthless?' which grinds the conversation to a complete halt. Because of Dean's intense self-criticism, Sam can never really be 100% honest with him or ask for support with his own issues, especially regarding their childhood. As anything outside of 100% gratitude just becomes another stick for Dean to beat himself with, and the conversation is immediately derailed.

Not only does Deans self-hatred mean that Sam's expression of his own experiences are pretty consistently shut down. In some ways, I think Dean strips Sam of his autonomy - he's so self-loathing, he sees every decision Sam makes as being about/a reaction to him. A good example of this is Stanford. Rather than understanding Stanford for what it was, an attempt by Sam to carve out a better life from himself and escape hunting. Dean views it as betrayal or abandonment, some re-affirmation of his own belief that he's not worth caring about. Rather than understanding it's a rejection of hunting, he sees it as Sam rejecting him. To Dean, Sam isn't attempting to find a better life, he's punishing the family.

Why would you leave this in the tags?!

The actual irony of this scene is Dean blaming Cas for everything that goes wrong in his life when he is the one sole reason that Cas has lost everything

Cas lost his family in heaven, his wings, his powers his home. He has lost every friend outside the Winchester's because they end up sacrificing for the Winchesters. He has lost his life on multiple occasions, lost his son twice, lost his self worth but yet its Dean who gets to say Cas is the reason everything goes wrong for him when time after time it being Cas who has saved him and his brothers life.

Writers give Cas a little self respect back by allowing him to walk away from Dean. Then rip it away by having him accept Dean's Bs prayer where Dean doesn't even apologise for anything just forgives Cas for Cas doing nothing wrong and being a good father to his son.