Authentic Poser

Driving around my town trying to find one single burger just one burger or a hot dog but Unfortunately everythings just rubble and twisted scaffolding upstretched and rotting and theres shit on fire and a big black ass sky

Guess i cant do shit anymore Cause the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides... And yep, you guessed it: a dark wind blows.

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

i could jumpstart a car with my breasts

Everybody in the club Yield to my will

I have GOT to stop spending $30

they’re foreclosing on my mind palace

if you've ever applied for a job you deserve 50 million dollars in financial compensation

i bet that mario and luigi dont get pussy

And? Do you?

we’re not talking about me right now