Why does this random anon know whether or not you're ovulating

was posting some nasty shit

”okay but are you normal about-“ no. I’m an insane pervert.

yeah, I got some nfts... some nice fucking tits LOL

whenever i eat a fruit salad it makes me feel like im someone's pet lizard and its my birthday

cats are really good at looking at things. very useful

having two cats essentially means you have a bug and rodent triangulation system. if they are both looking at something you know for damn sure there is some unauthorised fucking thing there.

every time I fumble w my phone’s charger cable I think about emailing steven moffat a pipe bomb

watching bridgerton and obviously there were a lot of things wrong with the way socializing has worked in the past, but honestly the idea of a "calling hour" is so appealing. office hours for friendship. you can show up unannounced at my home between 1 and 3pm. you must leave by 3pm. I may give you a pastry. lets bring that back

accidentally indulged in too much ‘me time’, turns out i’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities

Honestly you can say the same of any line cook

9.5h Quinton Reviews video dropped *I close my eyes* *a beam of light shines on my face as I open my arms to the sky* *angels singing* *birds circling me* *a deer brings a fluffy blanket and leads me to the couch* *a rabbit tugs me in and brings me a cup of coffee* *my cat turns on the video on the tv* *life is good*

it's one of those days where my boobs hurt. it must be because my heart is so full of love

Someone's trying to kill you with a voodoo doll but didn't account for your huge badonkers

that also