wood elf

ever since i was a little girl i knew i won’t be participating

When you see me with that blank stare, this is where I am.

they should invent putting on sunscreen that doesn't feel like putting on sunscreen

you really do turn thirty and everything is different and sometimes better. if you're in line for thirty stay in line bro

[guy who has been holding an insane amount of tension in his body for a week straight] bro why do I feel so awful

we need to bring back the phrase "what business is it of yours" in a big way i'm serious

i know you can just say "none of your business" but phrasing it as a question with a jarringly formal tone is the ideal way to shoot an overfamiliar unwelcome overture dead in its tracks and force the person making it to confront the boundaries they're taking for granted + it would really piss people off which is funny

&also it allows you to experience the joy of talking like an autistic vampire, which i highly recommend

oh to be a slightly ridiculous looking sea monster on a geographically inaccurate medieval map