same panic, different disco. @deadbiwizards - Tumblr Blog

I was literally put on this earth to eat dick and pussy and bleed out slowly in the snow

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grabmyboner

just to be clear. terfs aren’t welcome on my blog. fuck y’all

ceruleanheaven

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

#that's...#oh well #about myself

fursasaida

adult life is truly just thinking “I NEED TO CLEAN” while dealing with the 17 other things that have a hard deadline

#it do be like that

kosmogrl

#and I will keep doing it #about myself

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drulalovescas

everybody say thank you, fanfiction

#about myself #fanfiction #hollanov #heated rivalry

ceruleanheaven

how to become good at everything no practice no effort no motivation no passion no talent fast free

#about myself

autistobrat

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

haughtyraban

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

rosewater1997

no offense but….kindness and being polite is really underrated some of y’all are so unnecessarily mean and i dont understand why

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holdoncallfailed

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

#about myself

infectiouspiss

as above (insane in the head) so below (insane in the pussy)

vehder

i miss u so much (pre ai internet)

penandinkprincess

laughing about the idea of rose giving shane a weighted blanket as a gift and it soon becoming ilya's Number One Enemy in their house

at first it was just because it was a gift from rose, but now??? shane is cuddling up under The Mistress? ("ilya, it is a fucking blanket-") shane does not need to ask ilya to lay on top of him because he would rather be beneath The Mistress? ("ilya, for FUCK'S sake, you weren't even home-") maybe shane doesn't even need him anymore. maybe The Mistress can learn to suck his co- ("i'm going to bed. you can join me or you can keep glaring at a FUCKING BLANKET")

penandinkprincess

i feel like rose probably went for the heaviest option available, so like a 40 pounder, so it does have some good heft to it

and i'm cackling about this arrangement being referred to as a threesome as a joke, which is all well and good until someone is reading over ilya's shoulder one day and sees shane send the message, "today has fucking sucked. can we have a threesome when you get home, please?" and is just ???? hello???? what?? the fuck??? are y'all just out here casually having threesomes on a tuesday??? that hollander asks for wiTH A PLEASE??? WHO IS INVOLVED ONTHIS THREESOME FOR IT TO BE HAPPENING ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE????

penandinkprincess

not helping this is that ilya responds with, "yes of course ♥️. do you think your mistress can take care of you in the meantime? just this once she can have you to herself."

and what he's doing is just teasing shane to lighten the mood, but person at the coffee shop behind him in line is just

penandinkprincess

this escalates to the point that shane really has no other option than to post some kind of statement about it being an inside joke, and ilya of course has to be a little shit about it and post a response on twitter or whatever about, "oh, you will not tell them you are snuggling with your mistress right now, hollander? you will break my heart but not admit it to the world?" and so shane posts another picture that's just a pov from his place on the couch with the weighted blanket over his legs and ilya on the other end grinning SO WIDE because he's SO pleased with himself. and the caption is something like "pictured: my "mistress" and my soon-to-be-ex-husband." and ilya thinks it's SO fucking funny because yes! vindication! let the world pity him (even if playfully).

and this then backfires on him SO FAST.

now weighted blanket brands are sending shane pr trying to get him to mention them/show them off in a picture, and ilya is now fucking SURROUNDED by mistresses all competing for his husband's attention. BULLSHIT. HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED.

weighted blanket eleven comes in the mail and ilya goes live on instagram just FURIOUS. the frame is him in front of a PILE of weighted blankets and he is just

"enough! enough of this! are too many in our house. is like being fucking-shane, what is word? people in utah, they have many wives?"

shane in the background, not fully paying attention: "mormons?"

"those! we are not mormons! household is FULL. marriage is FULL. stop this! every single day i look and there are more enemies in this house."

"every single day i look and there are more enemies in this house" goes viral as a sound for people surrounded by clutter/pets/etc.

shane receives five more weighted blankets.

deadbiwizards

Can’t let this be looked over in the comments:

Someone talented from this fandom draw this pls!!!

#heated rivalry #hollanov #shane hollander #ilya rozanov #hudson williams #connor storrie #heated rivalry fanart

flanneldragon

thing is, i AM gay but $20 isnt even $20 anymore

#20 in this economy doesn’t get you very far #and even then I am gay for free #about myself

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siratonin

"I CANT HANDLE THIS" *handles this*

siratonin

"I CANT TAKE ANOTHER DAY" *takes another day*

#guess you gotta do what you gotta do #about myself

veliseraptor

“I am a simple person with simple wants,” I say, scrolling through AO3 and ignoring fics for a variety of petty reasons

#I wish I could be on ao3 right now #BUT MOTHER HAS LED ME DOWN #archive of our own #ao3 #ao3 maintenance

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same panic, different disco.