Let Simon Say Fuck

EAT THE RICH

Or at least

(So. Uh. While going through DCA again I decided to keep track of how much time has passed. Don’t know if anyone already posted something like this, but after taking the time to type it up, I thought I’d share in case anyone else was interested. I am kind of amused by the fact that they were only originally in Barovia for less than two weeks. XD

All days are totaled according to the amount of time passing for the Waffle Crew and does not account for discrepancies between places like Barovia, the Shadowfell, Toril, etc. I am not adding the K’thrissmas Special as it was recorded earlier but aired months later, making it pretty impossible to properly place timeline-wise. If anyone has any corrections, feel free to let me know.)

~*SOME NUMBERS ARE APPROXIMATE*~

SEASON 1 - CURSE OF STRAHD - 14 days total Ep 001 - Day 1 (Spent 1 night outside) Ep 001-003 - Day 2 (Spent 1 night outside) Ep 003-005 - Day 3 (Spent 1 night at hag windmill) Ep 005-008 - Day 4 (1 day’s travel to Krezk) *nighttime travel/rest not confirmed* Ep 008-009 - Day 5 (Spent 1 night in Krezk) Ep 009-013 - Day 6 (Spent 1 night outside) Ep 013-016 - Day 7 (Spent 1 night at winery) Ep 016-017 - Day 8 (Spent 1 night in tower) Ep 018 - Day 9 (Spent 1 night in Amber Temple) Ep 018-022 - Day 10 (Spent 1 night in Amber Temple) Ep 022-025 - Day 11 (Spent 1 night in Van Richten’s tower) Ep 025 - Day 12 (Spent 1 night in Van Richten’s tower) Ep 025-028 - Day 13 (Spent 1 night in Argynvostholt) Ep 028-031 - Day 14 (End of the first season) *end of day not confirmed*

SEASON 2 - STORM KING’S THUNDER - 51 days (+50 years) total Ep 032-033 - Day 15 (Spent 1 night at lodge) *beginning of day not confirmed* Ep 033-034 - Day 16 (Spent 1 night at lodge) Ep 034-035 - Day 17 (Travel to Citadel Adbar) Ep 035 - Days 18-26 (Travel to Citadel Adbar) *exact amount of days not confirmed - “in week 2”* Ep 035-036 - Day 27 (Spent 1 night outside) Ep 036 - Days 28-32 (Travel to Citadel Adbar) Ep 036-037 - Day 33 (Spent 1 night in hut) Ep 037 - Days 34-42 (Travel to Citadel Adbar) *exact amount of days not confirmed - estimated travel time left was 10 days in ep 36* Ep 037 - Day 43 (Spent 1 night with Ur'greys) Ep 037-038 - Day 44 (Spent 1 night with Bronzefires) Ep 038-039 - Day 45 (Travel to Yak Folk village) Ep 039 - Days 46-47 (Travel to Yak Folk village) Ep 039-048 - Day 48 (Spent 1 night in Ironslag) *exact amount of days in Ironslag not confirmed - based on group resting only* Ep 048-050 - Day 49 (Travel to Citadel Adbar) Ep 050 - Days 50-52 (Travel to Citadel Adbar) *conflicting travel times given by Chris - “1 day” plus “a couple more days” could equal the amount of time it took to get to Ironslag (¾), but then he says they haven’t seen Waffles in “a week or so”* Ep 050-052 - Day 53 (Spent 1 night in Citadel Adbar) Ep 052 - Days 54-55 (Spent 2 nights in Citadel Adbar) *exact amount of days in Citadel Adbar not confirmed - 3 days or less* Ep 052-056 - Day 56 (Magically goes from night to morning and XXX years in the past) Ep 056-058 - Day 57 (Everyone dead but Strix) *50 years pass in Ep 058* Ep 059 - Days 58-64 (Travel to Kronenheim) *exact amount of days not confirmed - enough to establish the Dragon Cultists using the sending stone “every couple of days”* Ep 059-061 - Day 65 (Spent 1 night on airship)

SEASON 3 - TOMB OF ANNIHILATION - 116 days total Ep 061 - Days 66-72 (Travel to Chult) Ep 061-062 Day 73 (Travel to Chult) Ep 062-064 Day 74 (Spent 1 night in Port Nyanzaru) Ep 064-065 Day 75 (Spent 1 night in hut) Ep 065 - Days 76-78 (???) *exact number of days lost due to the mostly missing episode - at least “3 to 4 days”* Ep 065-067 - Day 79 (Travel to Camp Vengeance) Ep 067 - Days 80-87 (Travel to Camp Vengeance) Ep 067-068 - Day 88 (Spent 1 night in jungle) Ep 068-070 - Day 89 (Travel to Oralunga) Ep 070 - Days 90-92 (Travel to Oralunga) Ep 070-071 - Day 93 (Spent 1 night in hut) Ep 071 - Days 94-101 (Travel to Oralunga) Ep 071-072 - Day 102 (Travel to Omu) Ep 072 - Days 103-109 (Travel to Omu) *Ep 073 takes place around days 107/108* Ep 072-074 - Day 110 (Travel to Omu) Ep 074 - Days 111-112 (Travel to Omu) Ep 074-077 - Day 113 (Spent 1 night in Omu) Ep 077-081 - Day 114 (Spent 1 night in Omu) Ep 081-083 - Day 115 (Search for Paultin) *passage of time is out of sync between Paultin and the rest of the Crew - I am going by days passing for the majority of the party for these numbers* Ep 083 - Days 116-152 (Travel in Shadowfell) *exact amount of days not confirmed - 32 days for sure plus some additional days as Chris lowers Diath and Strix’s max HP further* Ep 083-085 - Day 153 (Travel in Shadowfell) Ep 085 - Days 154-182 (Travel in Shadowfell) Ep 085-087 - Day 183 (Spent 1 night in hut) Ep 087-089 - Day 184 (Spent 1 night with hags) Ep 089-091 - Day 185 (Spent 1 night in Port Nyanzaru)

Total time passed in 3 seasons: Almost exactly half a year (+50 lol)

SEASON 4 - WATERDEEP CHAIRS, CHAIRS EVERYWHERE EVERYBODY LOVES EVELYN PLEASE STOP DYING WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS SEASON SO HARD TO TRACK CHRIS PERKINS - 143 days so far Ep 091-093 - Day 186 (Travel to Waterdeep) Ep 093 - Days 187-191 (Travel to Waterdeep) Ep 094 - Days 192-215 (Travel to Waterdeep) Ep 094-097 - Day 216 (Spent 1 night in Waterdeep) Ep 098 - Day 217 (First night in the Wafflehaus) [ Ep 099 - Days 218-238 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) *exact number of days not confirmed - “some number of days and/or weeks”; at least 5 days needed for Diath’s journey to and from Red Larch, presumably including 1 night there, plus time for all of them including Diath to feel settled in* ] [ Ep 100 - Days 239-241 (Spent 1 night in Nightstone) *number of days based on Part One of the five part episode - Strix and Diath were taken by the mists the same day Strix got the message from Omin, but Paultin and Evelyn took a 2 day journey to Red Larch and were then spirited away* ] [ Ep 101 - Days 242-244 (Journey to Waterdeep) *exact number of days not confirmed - “multi-day journey”; estimated journey based on maps and compared distance to Red Larch* ] [ Ep 101-102 - Day 245 (Spent 1 night saving Waffles) ] [ Ep 102-103 - Day 246 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) ] [ Ep 103 - Days 247-248 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) ] [ Ep 103-104 - Day 249 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) ] [ Ep 104-105 - Day 250 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) ] [ Ep 105 - Days 251-253 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) *exact number of days not confirmed - “over the next day or two” and then “over the next day or two” again* ] [ Ep 105-110 - Day 254 (Operation in Xanathar’s lair) *the passing of a day isn’t specified, however the kids were at the neighbor’s long enough to know that elves don’t sleep* ] [ Ep 110 - Day 255 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) ] [ Ep 111 - Days 256-262 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) *exact number of days not confirmed - “some time has passed”, “a period of tranquility”, though Paultin is still an egg throughout so probably not too long* ] [ Ep 112 - Days 263-276 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) *exact number of days not confirmed - “some time has passed”* ] [ Ep 113 - Days 277-290 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) *exact number of days not confirmed* ] [ Ep 114 - Days 291-304 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) *exact number of days not confirmed* ] Ep 115-116 - Day 305 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) Ep 116-117 - Day 306 (Evelyn stayed at Wafflehaus, Diath stayed in jail, Strix and Paultin were out) *Talastin Aderagon visits in the morning and Diath has his first day in jail, so one night passes between 117 and 118* Ep 118 - Day 307 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus, real Diath still in jail) Ep 118-121 - Day 308 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) Ep 122 - Day 309 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) *it is never specified how much time takes place before or after this episode* Ep 123-124 - Day 310 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) Ep 124 - Day 311 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus) >Ep 125 - Days 312-327 (Stayed at the Wafflehaus, Evelyn with Jarlaxle night 327)< Ep 126-??? - Day 328

[ *In 99, Chris says it is “the end of winter, going into spring”, and in 114, he says it is “late spring”, so I totaled the number of days between these episodes to equal a little less than 3 months.* ]

>125 is a bit weird as it’s the live game where the cast was DMed through envelopes and everyone had a separate turn. Jared/Paultin took place over days 312 to 317; Nate/Strix took place over days 312 to 319 (calculated by assuming Strix brought Waffles to the circus after Simon came back); Anna/Diath took place over days 318 to 327 (calculated due to Strix talking to Diath about owlbear sex at the very start); and Holly/Evelyn took place all in one day and directly before episode 126, thus day 327. This is assuming that the “extras” took place between days 318 and 327. All numbers are approximated as there was a lot of “a few days later” type descriptors being thrown around.<

NOTE: In 117, Chris says that the theft of the Evelyn statue - which occurred in 106 - was “A week ago? Two weeks ago?” however unless 2.5 months pass at the beginning of 99 alone, this is impossible and should be chalked up to him being an “unreliable narrator”. This is not the only instance of him being one, but it was a fairly glaring contradiction, so I thought I’d point it out!

Interesting Facts (some numbers are approximate):

Evelyn was a construct for 127 days

Paultin was without a shadow for 41 days

Diath was a ghoul for 4 days

Simon 1.0 was with the party for 33 days; he had first met them 2 days prior; Simon 2.0 would be found 9 days after his death

Hooty McHootface was with the party for 17 days; Waffles was only 24 days old when ¾ths of the party died

The Waffle Crew carried a nuke around for 72 days

Did my first test fit of my Evelyn Marthian armor and it fits perfect. the breast plate was the last of her armor i needed to make and all that’s left of the main costume is the under coat, cape and the wings for her boats. If I can get all that done in time for katsu I’m hoping I can start on all her little Nick nacks and other weapons.

The structure was crumbling and burning with a vengeance around the pair of them, they were so close to being trapped, and neither Evelyn or Diath believed the other was making any sense given these circumstances.

“Evie…” Diath stared up at her, his eyes as wide and pleading as she’d ever seen them. Tears  threatened to spill over, and she couldn’t tell if it was from the pain of his injuries or the raw emotion behind his voice. “Please. It’s not worth it, I’m not worth it. Get out of here.”

“The heck you’re not.” Evelyn almost growled, anger not directed at her desperate friend before her, but at those who she knew made him feel this way. She ignored his pleas and continued to unbury his lower body from the rubble and heal what she could with what was left of her healing reserves. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, not without you at least.”

“Evelyn I don’t want you to…You need to-”

She fixed him with the sternest look she could manage. “Diath Woodrow, I know you don’t actually want me to leave you behind. I’m not sacrificing anything just trying to help you, so don’t you go trying to sacrifice yourself either. We’re both gettin’ out of here.”

She punctuated her statement with a grunt and a tug. Diath jolted as Evelyn freed a large chunk of stone, causing most of the bulk covering him to fall away. He looked down and saw that indeed his legs were free, but when he tried to pull himself up and away from the rest of it, he couldn’t…

“…I still can’t feel my legs.” he said quietly, staring down and unsuccessfully trying to move them. More chunks of the building burned and crumbled apart around them. He shook his head, resigned. There was no way he’d get the sensation back in them in time. “I can’t..”Evelyn’s eyes widened but then she knitted her eyebrows together and smiled with determination. She pulled him by the arms and hoisted him up, shifting him into a bridal carry. It wasn’t hard, she’d never noticed just how light Diath was.“I gotcha. Now let’s get out of here, huh?”