Strix: Why did you let your nose bleed all over the sink?! Paultin: I forgot how to stop a nosebleed Strix: How– you’ve had several nosebleeds, how could you possibly forget? Paultin: I was kinda mesmerized by the blood Strix: You have problems.

Evelyn: *hugging Paultin with all her might* Paultin: I did not ask for this. These are unauthorized snuggles. Evelyn: *sadly starts walking away* Paultin: *pulls her back* I didn’t ask you to stop.

Simon: *is sad* Paultin: *begins breakdancing gently* what’s wrong, son

Paultin, on a daily basis: I knew I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed today.

Diath: fun fact, i can be killed but it won’t last

Paultin: I need one of those Kim Kardashian jobs where they pay me to exist.