“Bruce doesn’t know how to cook” “Bruce doesn’t make his own bed” have you considered the possibility that Bruce knows how to do all of those things but lets Alfred do them anyway because if he doesn’t, the whole Manor falls apart?
Bruce lets Alfred make the bed because after the close call with Killer Croc last night it’s either crisp folded sheets pressed to perfection OR Alfred goes deep into the Gotham sewers with a rifle, a belt of flash-bangs, and 30 years of unresolved overprotectiveness.
let the man cook. literally, please let him cook something.
#after all these years it was batman holding alfred back from just rolling up to arkham with an AK #edit: actually just thinking more about Alfred pennyworth since all this rewatching is going on #and…what a fucken wild character. what a wild life to live what a PAINFUL life to live #like…imagine you’re [NAME REDACTED] who worked for some [UNFATHOMABLY BADASS PENNYWORTH BACKSTORY] in your heyday #but now your name is Alfred pennyworth and you’re a BUTLER of all things for a rich couple named Thomas and Martha #and maybe you’re a little in love but unfortunately House Wayne was founded over the hellmouth that is Gotham #so the rich couple is killed in the street and now you’re the guardian of their very young and struggling son #and this child becomes your life. your WHOLE LIFE #this child is a genius the likes of which you have never really met but also strange and wounded and twisted up in a way you can never fix #and this child grows into a man and decides he is going to spend HIS life throwing himself between his hellmouth city #and whatever citizens he can manage to save with his brain and his body and all the privileges his House can give him #and you just have to stand there and watch your son - bc he IS your son. in every way that matters - make these choices #you HELP HIM DO IT bc you CAN. you are actually very good at it #being both experienced in what agents in the field might need as support and. ya know. his FATHER #WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY IS: imagine you are the handler for the most skilled field agent you have ever seen #and you have to keep sending this field agent out night after night on an unwinnable mission for the rest of both your lives #except the field agent is also your employer but most of all he is your child and you just have to COPE with that #anyway. Alfred pennyworth is the least hinged of the batfamily and absolutely devoted to them all and God’s Perfect Enabler #and if you think about him for five seconds it just gets very uh. yeah. (takiki16)
