dark angel

description: one piece, but the Odyssey. Zoro is Odysseus, Sanji is Penelope, and like dozens of other times, the green-haired swordsmen had gotten lost, like really, really lost this time, and now his kids and the Straw Hat crew, sans Cook, have to find him.

If I can make the description better, let me know

cast list, Chapter one

Chapter 2, enter chopper

Homophrosyne

Finally figured out a title, no more of the old one, as funny as it was.

Anyway, here is the first chapter of the Zosan Odyssey, which I posted a snippet of earlier. I'll link the other parts as I go. I will also update once every couple of weeks or so, but I make no promises.

description: one piece, but the Odyssey. Zoro is Odysseus, Sanji is Penelope, and like dozens of other times, the green-haired swordsmen had gotten lost, like really, really lost this time, and now his kids and the Straw Hat crew, sans Cook, have to find him.

If I can make the description better, let me know.

Who's who in the fic. chaper two

Cast 

Gods (this is purely vibs based!)

zues= roger 

hera= gaban

athena = mihawk

aries=dofomigao 

posiden = big mom

hades = Rayleigh

Persephone = shacky 

hermis = buggy

apollo= crocus

Aphrodite= gloriosa

hephestus= vega punk 

dyonisus= shanks

Demeter = whitebeard

helous= kido 

aeolus= foxy

ion= fisher tiger 

calypso= Hiyori

circie= hancock 

hericalues= ace

pyolthums = cracker 

tiresuesu = ryuma 

Everyone else is nameless or going to be people who are going to die anyway, so I don't care. The Strawhats are basically taking the Zosan kids on a field trip to find their lost father. Other couples will likely show up. Kunia will still be dead, though.

The likely whose who

Menilus = Luffy (because Agimemnon is dead, and I hate Agimemnon, so he makes no appearance )

Hellen = law (he's a pretty man, he gets to play the face to lunch a thousand ships.)

dimedies = nami 

Seer guy whose name I don't remember = robin 

Princess who finds Odysseus washed up on the beach = Perona

Chapter one is up!

If you had asked Zoro or really any one of his friends, who’d likely gotten home by now, they would have said he would be home last if he came home at all from war. Something he argued very much, but here he was, with a war that ended 6- 7 years ago, now trapped on an island that’s technically a heaven for someone. Someone who isn’t him, that is not still a nice place, with a goddess more than willing to tend their every whim, only asking for love and devotion in return. Which he varied much was not willingly giving, not that he truly remembered most nights, but he was doing his best not to dwell on those at the moment. At least after the sun went down, he was home, with his husband and sons and daughter. Chopper is flying over him, excited that he’s finally home, crying and half checking him over for wounds. Though he always pays little attention once he hears those running steps, whether he gets yelled at and gets a sharp kick to the ribs or simply jumps into his arms changes night to night. His children are rather grown now, but always recognize him right away, jumping on him once he’s got his crying husband locked in his arms. After a joyful reunion, life goes back to the way it was before. He rules his kingdom, has little fights with his ever-hot-headed husband, and watches what's left of his children's childhood. When he wakes, all he wants is to go back to sleep; at least he’s home in his sleep. 

Zoro doesn’t have any true ill will towards Hiyori; he doesn’t blame her for her loneliness. To her credit, she leaves him be during the day, though it did take him yelling at her one time that she’ll never have what she wants so badly from him willingly. Taking a harsh tone that his husband would have yelled at him in turn for speaking with her. She’s asked for his heart so many times it’s almost embarrassing at this point, asking when he’ll just forget about this old home and embrace his new one? Never is always his answer; he will never call this prison others would call heaven home. Home is his children, his husband, the house he built with his own two hands, not here, never here.

Which leads him to the present, practicing with his swords on the beach. Finding it easier to deal with the days if he occupied his mind with tasks like this. The less time he spends thinking of home, the better, the less he gets any more melancholic than he already was. He hears someone approaching from behind, but figuring it's the one person he doesn’t care to see more than he must, Zoro doesn’t turn around.

“Go away, I’ve already told you my answer to your question today.” His voice was a low growl, while he couldn’t truly hurt a goddess, he could still scare her or yell at her the same way he would anyone, in the very least.

The voice that rings through his ears is completely unexpected. “I have yet to ask you anything, I’ll have you know.”  The deep timber of the voice he heard once when dealing with the witch. 

Spilling on his heel, Zoro comes face to face with Buggy, looking smug and all too happy at the way the swordsman’s face pinches. The blue-haired god laughed loudly at him, a laugh that last time fell with words of help, but this time he wasn’t so sure. “Why are you here?” 

“Well, I have some good news for you, and bad news and neutral news for you. And a very important question.” Buggy snickers.

“Just get on with it,” Zoro grunts, plopping down on the sand of the beach. 

“Bad news first, big moms still pissed at you and your friends, but mostly still you.”

“Like that changes anything about my life now, I'm stuck here, remember.” Zoro glares at the messenger god. 

“I’m getting to that, don’t rush me, you're as bad as Mihawk, you know, always interjecting before I’m done, anyway, nutarl news your kids and like all your frinds are looking for you.” 

“What?-“ one of his hands flouting over to press a finger to the swordsman's lip, hushing him before he continues speaking. 

“Shhh, I’m getting to it, let me get there, alright. Okay, Mihawk, I guess, has decided you're cool again and has made a play for your freedom. “ 

“He what? -“ 

“You really gotta let me finish talking, man, I’m not done yet! Okay, so the question I have to pose to you is, do you still wish to go back home ?”  Buggy asks with a bit of fanfare. Posing the question to the warrior who’s now struck speechless, staring at the messenger god. “This is where you talk now.” 

“If this is a joke, it’s cruel,” Zoro says with a sneer at him, nearly jumping to stand. 

“It’s no joke, so you have a choice to make: stay here in a “ Buggy is cut off with a quick answer from the swordsman. 

“Home.”

“Would you let me finish talking? It’s very rude, you know.”

“Right, continue.” Zoro feels like his body is practically vibrating, though he does roll his eyes at the god who’s really pouting at him.

“So you want to stay here in a heavenly place, or return to your homestead?… see I already know your answer, so now it's no fun.” 

“Right, I pick home, let’s go,” Zoro grunts rather gruffly, looking around for the way off the island, somehow going the wrong way even on a small island. 

“Uh, wrong way!” Buggy shouts, a disembodied hand grabs him by the collar, and pulls him back. 

“You're really leaving me?” Hiyori asks, coming out of the brush, face sullen like she somehow made herself believe that Zoro would stay. 

Without even a second thought to it at all. “Yes, I have a life I want back. I have a husband, children, and friends I need to get back to. I’ve never said otherwise.” Zoro grunts, standing tall, for once his voice not harsh or growling. More is trying to understand why she seemed to think he would pick her. 

“I know, but you could live forever here with me. What’s other there that you can’t have here?” 

“A Curly-brow hot-tempered cook who’d sooner kick me in the face than kiss me.” 

“Fine, go, never come back.” She finally takes the defeat, eyes watering at this, overwhelmingly heartbroken. Heartbreak is someone he understands well, but it tends to happen when you chase after someone whose head can be turned by another. Never one for pity, Zoro continues on following after the messenger god, who is strangely silent. 

“Sooooo, we're going to get Gobon's favor, huh?” Buggy whistles as they head to where this raft is.  

“Not my fault, she didn’t hear me the first time.” Zoro grunts. 

“…..right, so here’s your bout, um, you're gonna have to like fight the garbage disposal again and like big mom still hates you…. My suggestion is don’t go get lost, um, and stay out of the open water…. Maybe talk to Mihawk… and cross your fingers you run into your friends…. Okay, good luck, time for me to exit stage left…. Oh, don’t die cause your home is full of assholes trying to steal your husband. Okay bye! “ 

“Wait, what?!?” Zoro shouts only to find that the clown is long gone. “Fucking clowns.” Shaking his head and pushing the raft out to sea with a glare. Breathing in the sea air and feeling the wind against his skin as the raft is swept out to sea, carrying him far away from the island prison, in what he hopes is the direction of home. He’s off from getting to by about at least 8 football fields, but it’s close enough if you ask any of his friends; at least he’s headed in the right direction. 

You’re a smart guy, though, so you do what all your books and knowledge tell you to do: make notes and run tests. So far, with having these things for about two weeks, your results are thus 

Joy, produces and smile, and a light feeling in your chest. 

What produces such feelings: books, going for a walk, fires, mostly campfires or ones in fireplaces. 

Conclusion: enjoyable, it is understandable why people seek it out. 

Anger makes the whole body feel hot, the pulse races, and muscles feel tight, with a desire to act out in some way. 

What produces such feelings: stupidity, father’s stupidity, feeling fear ( see fear), that blank look on your siblings’ faces, what happened on the whole cake,  thinking of mom. 

Conclusion: invaluable, with some uses you suppose, but needs to be tempered lest there is a higher risk of being found out.

Comfort, a pleasant feeling similar to joy that feels just as warm at times, and relaxes the body.

What produces such feelings: favored chair, good tea/coffee, old favorite books, and the thought of mom’s smile 

 Conclusion: welcome and relaxing, aids in sleep and being calm. Though it does open one to a wandering mind, which can pull off other feelings. (see thoughts of moms smile) 

Calm, almost base feeling with which to find other feelings. It’s close to feeling nothing, but much warmer. 

What produces such feelings: a lack of producers of most other emotions, other than comfort. 

Conclusions: a good base feeling with which to study the others. 

Fear, a primal feeling that can make the body lock up, the mind and heart race. provides a fight or flight response. 

What produces such feelings: being caught, father, drowning, and death.

Conclusion: feeling this too much produces the opposite feelings of stress and anxiety when felt for too long. useful for several, but not at all pleasant. 

Saddness,  a feeling that can come with fear, anger, and happiness at times. It comes with feelings of guilt and makes a tightness in the belly with a stinging in the eyes that can produce tears. 

What produces such feelings: thoughts of mom, (her face, laugh, and what happened to her), what happened to Sanji, what you and your brothers did to Sanji. the thoughts of books burning, 

Conclusion: an awful feeling that will easily give you away, though the guilt is worse.

Hate, a burning feeling that can come with anger and sadness at times. can cloud the mind and make one act senselessly. 

What produces such feelings: the father.

Conclusion: useful feeling, but can make one blind.

Love, a warm feeling that makes the heart flutter and creates a lighter feeling in the body. 

What produces such a feeling: siblings, thoughts of mom, sunny days. 

Conclusion: a welcome feeling that is overly complex.

As you study these feelings, you start to notice your sister looking at you funny at times, like she knows something is up. It does go on the back burner with how crazy your father is acting. The more time he spends away from you, the better. The easier it is to focus on your studies of the new feelings you have in your mind, it also gives you an opening to see what your sister is up to, with her stares and suspicious looks on her face. Of course, she waits until late at night when she finds you wisfully staring at the newest edition of Sora Warrior of the Sea. The main character bears more than just your mother's name but also a likeness to her. Unfortunately, you don't remember her face that well, and so you're not sure how alike the two of them are. Your father long ago got rid of any real image of her once your brother was gone, and one of them, too, after a while. 

Your sister stands at the far end of the room with a tentative look on her face, even with how dead she looks at the same time. It's a simple question that hangs in the air when she first appears in the doorway. ‘Are we alone?’ You question safety with a nonchalant air that, if your brothers or fathers overheard, could be blown off as a question on whether trouble has come to your doors or if you're needed for something. Her response makes all of that null and void, especially when she closes the door behind her ‘we are. That is when the real questioning begins; you just show her your notes at one point. When she looks at you with an almost sad smile on her face, your heart hurts, and you have more to add to your little notes. The fear grows less heavy with her in the know of what’s going on, it also creates a nice camaraderie between you both.

You and your sister become much closer as a result, happily chatting when you can about different things, with a side benefit of that face, it's making your father more and more paranoid as he sits about like a frightened child. Something you find very amusing to see, as does your sister, becomes a form of restitution for all his done. Is it vindictive? Yes, do you care? no. 

Of course, the status quo can't remain that way for long; you and your sister notice your blue-themed brother is acting strangely. openly rolling his eyes at your father at one point. After a few weeks, you corner him one night when he's in his room. You see that same look in his eyes when he looks at you while you loom in the doorway. Once the doors closed, you just jumped right into it, tactfully, of course, but with much less careful wording than your sister had with you.  

“You can think for yourself now, can’t you?”

He pauses as he seems to size you up,” What gave you that idea?”

“Can you or can you not?”

He nods with a look of resignation, which makes your stomach twist and anger at your father burn all the more.

You of course smile at him in a similar manner that your sister did you and you have a similar talk. He joins in on your whispering and chatting, which seems to be driving your father more and more mad, given how he seems to keep to himself, either being locked in the throne room or on his lap for more days and nights even. 

Continuing the trend, your youngest brother joins in on all this feeling and free-thinking nonsense. He is, though, the most blatant when your fathers are around, before and after you all start your little talks. Hate seems to be a favorite emotion of his, at least at the moment

You all seem to be spurring on his paranoia, that crazy devil fruit user that kept talking about the color green and how your father is going to die is also helping in keeping him away from all of you. Though most of his anger seems directed at your youngest brother, because you know, green hair, though it's mostly yelling, which you all are more than used to at this point. With the world government about gone as well, due to the straw hat and thus your brother, it makes him all the more withdrawn, leaving you all alone for the most part. He does make you all hide from this change for as long as your ships can, though, you do get to see more of the world, though, so you can’t complain all that much, you suppose. 

You hear through the news coo, that you got through some form of sheer luck, that your lost brother is getting married, to the world's greatest swordsman, no less, the newly-wedded one, not the goth one. Notably, he had green hair, well, you and your siblings can see what's coming from a mile away now, he not so much. 

It's both sooner and much later than any of you had expected that he would show up. You choose to blame his obvious lack of direction for that bit. he does seem to know where he's going when he gets inside, though, so you give him that.  The green-haired swordsman seems surprised by the fact that no fight meets him when he shows up. Watching all of you with blades ready, eyes hard and full of anger.“Where is he?” is all he asks, surprisingly clearly given he has a sword in his mouth. You all comoicley point in the same direction, much to his further confusion. ‘your not gonna stop me?’

‘No,’ again you all say at once, you swear you didn't practice this. He takes this as it is and asks no more questions. You don't speak, though, you tell the swordsmen to tell him you're all sorry, you all wish you had these revelations of feelings when he did, and you all hope he's happy. All you get is a nod and a huff that he's not a messenger. He looks like a messenger to you; he's here to kill your father as a message from your lost brother. You wonder what your brother sees in him, honestly. 

None of you is moved at all by your father's screaming and begging; you feel like you should be, but you aren’t. It's perhaps cruel and heartless of all of you; that's how he wants you, though, isn't it? mindless and emotionless soldiers, so you and your younger brother like to think that you're sending him off with a final glimpse of what he wants from you all. 

When the swordsmen leave, he says nothing and spares no further glance at any of you. Leaving you all to clean up the aftermath, your sister, of course, takes up the mantle of ruler. You all do your best to heal in your way, so when the pirate king does show up, without your brother, and completely by accident. You think of how easily he smiles, and how carefree he is, it's easy to see why so many people follow him. Straw-hat gives you all more knowledge than you expected about your lost brother; he has a daughter named after your mom. even shows you a picture and tells you of how your brother says he has her eyes whenever he can. 

person one just started period

Imagine you're a well respected Pirate with a love for cooking. Dying on a rock in the middle of the ocean wasn’t on our bingo card for this year, was it how did you expect to die, either? Not really, honestly, starving to death was not how you’d thought you’d go out. Apparently, it should have been. Being alone on a rock if starving doesn’t get you being isolated for so long will. Now apparently that isolation has gotten to you already because you're currently face to face with five little kids. No way the kids are real because well shit okay maybe the kids are real… that woman probably isn’t though. 

Okay, so all of them were in fact very real and just as starving as you, the kid's mom was way worse off than you or them. You were able to help the poor woman out at least a bit with how injured she was, and well, you couldn’t very well let all of them starve to death. All of them were obviously escaping something, given how skiddish the kids are around you. A pirate you may be, but your parents did at least raise a decent man, at least you like to think so. Which is how you lose a leg, not a full leg, granted, just like the knee and below. 

The relief you feel when you're rescued is short-lived when you're left with the kids so the ship's doc can help their mom. Who receives more attention from the ship's doc than you, who lost a leg. The smallest boy clings to you openly, while the rest seem to be trying to use you as a sort of shield, hiding behind you or under the bed you're in, since you know you lost a leg. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out they’re worried you’ll send them back where they came from, which you are not; you're not that heartless. 

When the ship's doctor deems you well enough to question, the kid's mom is out like a light; the poor woman must have pushed herself well past exhaustion and has probably been having the best sleep she’s had in a while. 

“So, how’d you end up on that rock? “

“Bad storm, shipwrecked.” 

“And these kids are all yours?” 

“Yup,” 

These seem to make the kids all let out a sigh of relief, probably have to explain to their mom how, apparently, you're their dad now, luckily, you're both blondes, and so are all the kids, which makes it believable. Seems the kids are committed to the bit types and call you papa a lot to get the point across and sell it when people are around. The five of them seem alright, the girls are the most talkative and Likely the eldest of them, rather protective of the others. Though a lot of them are extremely protective of the one who's stuck to you like glue, also the smallest of the five of them. You called her dragon fruit cause she seems to like pink, and kept not telling you her name, felt like you were talking to some kind of riddle master. 

Once you're finally back on the mainland, and their mom was awake, still not in the best shape, granted, but much better than before you got a more coherent story, and you know the non-riddle answer. Long story of the establishment of your restaurant, short, you basically show up with a family and over a few months. Which you just answered ‘got stranded on a rock’, more than a few times, the men would ask where said rock is because your ‘wife’, full air quotes around that because you're not married and weren’t really in a relationship for the better parts of the kid’s childhood.  Not that anyone listened when you said she’s not technically your wife, saying the kids weren’t yours felt like sacrilege, weirdly. Thus starting the belief that while you are not married, you two had kids out of wedlock, so why are you just acting like you are? The hoops people jump through to make sense of things when given a cryptic answer, so honestly kinda funny. 

Your relationship aside, you two raise the kids in relative peace, relieved because of who your clientele is. You teach them all to fight, of course, some taking to your style more than others. It’s in this that you learned of the face, the kids basically have the abilities of devil fruits, almost, but can swim. That surprise revelation caused quite a bit of turmoil, and the youngest two hiding from you for about a day, the middle one misdirecting you away from them more the a few times, and the oldest two seeming to take your anger. You weren’t angry, so much a surprise, and scared the kid would hurt themselves. If you weren’t sure the kids came from a bed place, this would have been the right lighthouse on the foggy day of that revolution. Anyway, the kids grew up and settled into this life well. The eldest and only girl (Reiju), dragonfruit, is the thinker of your little group, good with people and smart as all get out. Not the menchon a crack negotiator when it comes to people trying to change you extra for some bullshit reason. The eldest of the quadruplets, ginger root (Ichiji), was probably the angriest of them at the time as well as the most protective. He is the best with money of the three of them, leaving a love for reading and finding out new things, definitely the most plan-oriented child. The second oldest boy, pineapple (niji), loved to play blouncer and moonlight as a Mr Fix-It when it comes to anything with an Electric current and some things without, in all honesty. The number of times you had to shell out money for him messing with something, log pose, or navigational equipment when he was little can’t even be counted if you had all for limbs. Then, of course, there is the little eggplant (sanji), mouthy and mischievous, but what one of them isn’t really? Of course, he’s the cook of the three, having a love for it long before you got him. He’s one of those who really had a dream he needs to chase, they all do, but not in the day he does at the very least. If you had a favorite, it would be him; at least he’s the one who's closest to you and seems to think he has a debt to pay you. Never mind the kid would feed a rat if it looked like it was starving; his soft-heartedness made you worry at times. Finally, last but not least, the baby of the family pea pod (yonji) is the jack of all trades of them, the only thing he can’t really manage to do at least mildly well is make a rasatto. His drinks tend to be a bit on the stronger side, but he likes being out front in case of a fight. Also is the one most likely to start something aside from eggplant that is.  You were all comfortable, and while you’d like to tell them to go do what they want, all but one could say they are and have you believe them. 

Thankfully, however, the outlier is picked up by a ragtag group of pirates looking for a cook. With how big the appetite of captain is, you're glad he didn’t ask you. This, of course, is after some green-haired idiot almost dies on your front porch. Said green-haired idiot is later adopted by the man who almost killed him, ie, a regular who just so happened to be the world's greatest swordsman. For a while, he was in denial about that, but you kinda went through something similar when the kids were little, so you can’t really blame him. Anyway, eggplant leaves with them to follow his dreams, which seemed to kick off the others to sort of slowly test out leaving for longer and longer periods to do different things. You and their mom are very proud of them, and mildly worry about their bio-dad finding them, but you trust them to be able to handle it. 

Of course, of all the things you had expected to happen, your little eggplant getting romantically involved with the swordsman who just about bled out on your front porch was not on the list. He didn’t pick the long-nosed one who does lie a lot but seems rather sweet, or one of his captain’s older brothers, the fiery one, or the blonde one who seems a little feral. No, he picked the swordsman with no sense of direction and an adopted father who’s a regular. Thought perhaps the second part is a good thing because at least you can get to the kid that way, should he break your son's heart. 

His brothers were similarly outraged in a way at his choice, having to be stopped from heading out there to deal with the adopted son of a regular. Mostly by Sora as she seems the only voice of reason, with dragon fruit trying to get them to be more of a lay in wait kind of plan of action. It’s over a few bottles and a lot of consoling that you begrudgingly let sleepy dogs lie. Though not without groaning with ginger root whenever the mood strikes you both, or something comes up in the news. Pea pod is more excited about it than he perhaps should be, though it’s more he wants to fight the guy and his adopted father, for fun’zs’. Apparently. Dragonfruit and pineapple are likely making plans and scenarios for each contingency. 

Besides all of that, and giving occasional glares to the father of to man your sons are in love with. Things are peaceful in their own way, at least as far as you're concerned. Until what you’ve been worried about happens, the news coo’s announcement of the wedding of all five of your kids to members of the big mom pirates. Now were you and Cooks all stopped by the adopted father of the man your second youngest son is romantically entangled with not less, not to mention going to help them, not of course, without Sora yelling her head off at the man. Which he takes with no complaints, so that means that perhaps his son won’t be a complete waste of time for your second youngest son. 

You don’t hear much for far to long from any of your kids. Even Sora is getting anxious, and she’s calm in the worst storms, so naturally, the whole of your dive bar is very on edge. The only good news you hear comes from the news coo, that being the defeat of Kido and Big Mom by the Strawhats and a couple of other crews, but it’s the Strawhats you care more about. Now, this doesn’t say much, but it does mean that it is very likely that your kids are safe. The lack of call could just mean that the pineapple did something to the transporter snail again. Which seems to be right as you get a call finally, a few days later, only from the kids, not from the Starwhats shop. Pea pod is the one to give you a play-by-play, ginger root gives the more technical things, and keeps his baby brother on track in his storytelling. It’s amusing in all honesty, though they do voice how the boyfriend wasn’t there to help the second youngest of them, much to the brother's annoyance and distaste. Something to ask him later, when he finally calls, though it could be a whole given how easy he goes MIA for so long. 

It’s another few days before you hear from your second youngest, little eggplant, calling after a surprisingly quiet dinner service. Meaning you were able to patch in this still on the sea siblings for a little family call. The talk is rather nice until you bring up the boyfriend. 

“So how’s the green-haired swordsmen of yours, pea pod said he didn’t come to break up the wedding. Surprised he wasn’t there to object.” You half-joke, mostly to test the waters to see if you needed to kill the kid or not. “Can't imagine he was too happy either that you went to marry someone who isn’t him either.” 

The long pause was your little eggplant gaping like a fish out of water. “What? Why would he care?” 

His response is not silence but quiet, the kind you get before a violent storm. It’s not you but your eldest boy who talks first, ever so careful with his words. “Because you're together.” 

“We’re not together.” Now if any of you were listening to how his spoke you would have Hurd his confused. As well as how is voice picked up pitch to something close to yelling bearly held back because of the dangerous intent linger on the other end of the phone. 

You would like to say that you and your brothers reacted calmly. You would like to, but you didn’t, actually, the word calm wasn’t even in the same blue and any of you after that, bearly a sentence. “I’ll kill'im!”  You yell in unison with Ginger Root, who is your ranting buddy. The way you too okay off eachother is really amazing in honesty and you would feel pride if you weren’t so pissed off. You were about to hang up the call, grab your best knives, and head out there and teach that kid a thing or two about messing with one of your kids. As well as banning that dumbass regular who adopted him form ever coming back for daring to take in such an awful kid who doesn’t know the good he has when he has it. Ginger root is really just helping you plan this out whole voice his out anger, pea pod is shouting “finally! There can be only one! There can be only one! “ in the background, far too happy, but that’s not really a problem you're focus on at the moment. Pineapple was shouting at dragon fruit to turn the ship around, and saying they had a swordsman to kill.  You only stopped by the look Sora is giving you, which is amusement. 

“Hey, quiet all of you!” You shout, feeling your anger start to simmer down like the lid being moved a skew on a boiling pot of water. With the chaos quiled, even your second youngest, who you think was trying to get a word in, but honestly, you weren’t too focused on it in the moment. “What do they look for?” The question was obviously for your kids and prompted them to further listen, given the knowledge that their beloved mom is in the room. 

“Ask them if they’re together.” Is all she says while looking like this is the most hilarious thing in the world to watch.

“Eggplant, you and that waking patch of seaweed are a couple, aren’t you?” You're careful not to break eye contact with Sora, whose goggling like she knows something you don’t. 

“What ! No!” He shouts that mix of angry and frustrated that makes is face turn red when he yells like that. A trait he shares with his mother actually. 

“What do you mean no?” Ginger root should be back likely the same shade of red. 

“What’s going on ?” Dragon fruit says in the background. 

“Sanji and the idiot with the 3 swords were never together, apparently.” Pea pod means to whisper, but in that childish way that makes it easy to hear. 

“You're lying right, Sanji, say sike right now,” Pineapple says, taking over the receiver for a moment as he grouses. 

“Moss-head and I aren’t together now, nor have we ever been! Where are you all getting this idea ?!” 

“You're kidding, right?” Dragon fruit interjects with an almost laugh. 

“Have you two met you two?” Peapod adds 

“If you aren’t dating the guy then why are you two so touchy?”  Pineapple asks, though in a farther off distance than before. 

“Why are you all convinced we’re dating?!? I can’t stand him; we fight all the time!  It’s a brainless, boorish Neanderthal! “ 

“You insult and fight with him like you do your brothers and me, you're always near each other. “You are flabbergasted by this news, now as confused as a squirrel in the middle of the ocean. 

“You also look like you're gonna kiss a lot… like your faces are so close in some pictures.” Ginger root adds a similar tone to you at all this. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

“Figures insults were your love language or something.”  You shrug, sighing though your noise at this all while looking at a vary amused sora whose soundly staying silent at the moment and enjoining the chaos of her baby’s. 

“Doesn’t mean he’s included in it!” 

The exasperated sigh that comes from everyone besides him really should have been studied; even Sora pitched the bridge of her nose between two of her fingers as she let out an exasperated sigh. Thus begins the barrage of reasons why you all thought that. You included the adopted father of the swordsmen, as last you knew, he was also soundly convinced of the same. His denials and explanations are good and make sense, for a while at least. Then, of course, they get weaker and weaker until he’s just really saying ‘just cuz’.  You all drop the subject for the time being, as Sora wanted to have a more productive conversation with the kids, you know about all that happened and all the emotional stuff around the sperm donor before calling it a night and letting everyone get back to what they were doing before.

This little conversation kicks off a month of back to back calls at least one a day sometimes multiple with new defense on why he’s not in love with the son of a regular. Not just to you but to everyone, which while you and his mother enjoy hearing form him more often this is getting a little ridiculous at this point and no amount of gental words is stopping this tirade. 

It takes you telling him to get his head out of his ass and if he really didn’t care he wouldn’t feel the need to keep coming up with new defense in a not so nice tone and His mother saying basically the same thing but a lot nicer, after a day we’re some dumbass desided to try to dam near put a hole in your floor to get though to him. Then came the tears and the heartfelt conversation for it all to finally come out. Your little eggplant is head over heels for the guy and thought he didn’t have a chance, let alone know what to do with himself in this situation. Flirting wasn’t working, and with all that happened on the whole cake, it didn’t seem likely that it would ever happen, and he wasn’t sure he could handle the heartbreak. You offer to kill the kid, mostly as a joke, this time to lighten the mood a bit, as you offer some more fatherly advice to him. You can never know if you don’t try, and would he rather live in the abject heartache or actively do something about it, when he says the first one, you say no, no you don’t, which brings more mirth the the situation. Talking is the best way to handle this, and worst comes to worst, you’ll ban the boy's dad from the restaurant and send his siblings after the poor bastard for thinking he shouldn’t jump at the opportunity to pinch above his mediforcal dating weight class. After this conversation, you go back to bearly hearing from your second youngest again, and your other kids hearing the news of your little conversation, after back to plotting how to get rid of unwanted patches of grass. 

As for the regular, you both commiserate on the fact that you were both wrong, apparently, and had similar troubles when a would-be couple. Though apparently his adopted kid was more aggressive when the topic came up. You share a bottle of wine, much to Sora’s amusement as she watches you two bemoan your obviously stubborn children. You’d say you're on friendly terms, but that completely depends on whether his kid messes up or not, so you think it a bit, but never vocalize it. 

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