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So many women have internalized the idea that being difficult makes people think less of them, when in my experience the opposite is almost always true. Every single time I have spoken up, voiced what I actually need and refused to shrink the moment in order to be more comfortable for everyone else in the room, I have been approached afterward by people who wanted to know me better. There is no reward waiting for you on the other side of making yourself smaller. People do not love you more for taking up less space, they simply get used to you taking up less space and adjust their expectations accordingly. Every time I have been exactly as audacious as the moment required, it has opened doors rather than closed them and I have made real connections directly because of it rather than in spite of it.

I promise you things will get so much better when you start processing people’s behavior as information rather than a verdict on your self-worth. If someone doesn’t text back, suddenly pulls away, whatever it may be, the solution isn’t to put on a tap dance for them and try to regain their approval. It’s not to crash out on them and try to force them to react a certain way. It’s just to take a step back, take a deep breath, and assess what this tells you. What’s this saying about them? What’s this saying about you??

If you are a woman, you need to learn to be selfish sometimes. You need to get comfortable being perceived as selfish. This is 100% a vital skill in a world that expects and demands you sacrifice yourself for others at every opportunity.

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased

the feminine urge to stay gone. be unseen, be unavailable, be unheard of. disappear.

genuinely can’t stress enough if you’re in high school rn and anyone is telling you that’s the best time of your life they are lying. it gets better. hs is arguably the worst. if you can survive that you can survive anything. despite the horrors i know i’m always posting about i swear life is so much better as an adult