undergoing changes

i’m remembering here that shane canonically plays better after he’s dicked down. so can you imagine what this motherfucker can do in ottawa centaurs by cock alone?

an idea for an au where shane is a virgin at 30 years old and chronically single and he asks his friend rose to help him find someone to lose his virginity to so rose asks her other friend svetlana and she actually has the perfect guy for this. shane goes to the guy’s house “it’s perfectly fine shane, nothing bad will happen to you. i trust svetlana” rose eases him cus shane is very anxious. and he checks rose’s messages again to make sure he has the right apartment number, takes the elevator straight to 801, knocks on the door and it swings open and shane is face to face with the hottest guy he’s ever seen, who introduces himself as ilya and shane notices an accent but doesn’t comment. everything goes so smoothly, shane enjoys every single thing they do and finds everything incredibly hot, he’s genuinely having the time of his life and asking himself “why did i take so long to do this?”. after everything they’re lying in bed panting and shane gets up, turns to ilya and says “thank you so much for everything, you were perfect” doesn’t even wait for a response goes straight to the bathroom to shower, puts his clothes back on, grabs his keys, and thanks ilya one more time before leaving a completely dumbfounded ilya still lying in bed. and of course ilya is just obsessed with shane, he bugs svetlana and rose so much to give him shane’s number because he can’t let go of a perfect man like this — even if he’s really odd, but it’s charming — and their chemistry was insane and the guy was a virgin? looking like that? ilya can’t just let that go, the guy has to be his. poor shane is totally oblivious about everything, he’s just happy to finally not be a virgin anymore he has no idea he’s being hunted. later ilya finds out they work at the same company and he cannot believe his luck, he can’t believe shane was right under his nose this whole time and he didn’t notice, but now that he knows shane can’t escape.

they’re sitting together on the couch, tv is on but no one is watching and both of them are doing their individual things. shane reading a book and ilya scrolling through his phone and then ilya stops and rests his phone to his thigh, turns to shane and asks “would you love me if i was bad at hockey?” and shane snaps his head towards ilya with his eyebrows raised “of course” he replies and ilya keeps going “and if i was a goalie?” and shane’s actually really confused now with where ilya’s coming from but he still answers “yes, of course” and ilya starts agin “and if i—“ but shane cuts him off and says “ilya, i don’t believe in god or anything else but the only thing i believe is that you were made for me and any version of you or of us would be together in type of alternate universe if those exists” and ilya kinda tearing up with a trembling voice “you think i was made for you?” and shane’s like deadpan serious “yes, i think the universe made you for me to love. it would be you or no one else” and ilya trying hard to not cry just picks his phone again and says with his voice choked up “was just watching a dumb tiktok ignore me” while using other hand to wipe a tear that had fallen

Ouuhh I see the water it’s right there on the post,, I’m so thirsty ouyghhhhhw just one sip for me ooouuuuuu

Yeap. That's how the Effetto Fata Morgana gappens

he still did 9/11 no one can take that from him ❤️

yuna is rearranging the living room and picking up shane’s childhood pictures to put them in a new order. she notices that one is missing and she knows exactly which one because it’s one of her favorite pictures of shane, him smiling brightly at the camera with a missing tooth. she sighs and picks up her phone to call ilya and he picks up on the third ring greeting her “hello, yuna” and she says “ilya, dear, i’m afraid you have something mine” and ilya goes “what is it?” and she replies “one of shane’s childhood picture” and ilya goes “yuna, you know i love you like a mother, yes?” and she’s like “yes, dear, i know” and ilya keeps going “i’m not returning this photo” and yuna snorts “ilya, this one is my favorite” and ilya’s like “it’s mine too” and she says “if you return it to me, i promise i’ll make a copy of every single one you like” and ilya goes “you promise?” and yuna says “i promise”. weeks later ilya is sitting there with a copy of the entire photo album.

now that they’re out and free, they can finally do things together for the first time, and one of those things is traveling as a couple with their friends. on one of these trips they went to a resort with some of the cens and the pikes. almost everyone is sitting at a big table in the hotel restaurant having breakfast and talking about all sorts of things. when bood brings up a topic “what about that couple in the middle of the night?” and cassie says “i was so jealous, bood falls asleep the moment he lies down in bed” and everyone laughs and bood gives his wife a fake annoyed look and wyatt speaks up “i was shocked, i didn’t know someone could moan like that for hours” and ilya replies “poor lisa” everyone laughs and wyatt flips ilya off and suddenly he turns to shane and ilya and asks “wasn’t it you guys?” and the two look at him confused and wyatt explains “the couple was two men” and ilya goes “we’d never be stupid enough to have sex with the windows open” and shane adds “besides, our rooms are on the opposite side of the resort, sound doesn’t carry that far” and ilya goes “mr. physicist” and shane laughs and gives him a light slap. the couple was actually harris and troy, who are eating breakfast in silence at the other end of the table.

After Shane and Ilya get married Ilya is so happy to finally change his pfp to be one of him and Shane. To piss Ilya off Hayden also changes his pfp to him and Shane. Cue different NHL players slowly changing their pfp to photos of them and Shane. It basically becomes and unspoken trend that when you enter the NHL you need to get a photo with Shane Hollander to change your pfp as a right of passage.

ilya and shane are hosting at their home for the first time after the wedding. this was always a dream for them, being together around all of their friends. at some point in the night they disappear after shane says he’s going to grab something from the pantry and ilya follows him not long after. their friends start discussing “they’re definitely fucking in there” one of the wags says and hayden tries to defend his friend “shane and ilya have never done anything like that around other people” and harris goes “but they’re at their house and it’s gigantic here, no one will hear them wherever they are” and wyatt goes “who wants to bet they’re fucking?” and everyone agrees to the bet but it’s 50/50, half of them agreeing with hayden and saying they’d never do something like that with people around and the other half saying they’re freaks. so everyone picks luca haas to go look for them because if ilya and shane catch him they won’t be mad at the rookie. luca goes looking for them and when he approaches the pantry he hears ilya’s exasperated voice going “no shane, listen, you want to know what she said to me? the audacity...” and luca stops going further and just turns around and goes back to the rest of the group and says “they’re just gossiping, i think they lost track of time” and half of them groan while hayden cheers going “i told you guys”. sometimes shane needs to step back to recharge his social battery and ilya goes with him to keep him company because even when he’s overwhelmed, shane still wants ilya there with him.