Professionally pretending

Cover is UP! The stunning art is by @eliotbaum.

Call Me Traitor is the story of a living weapon fighting her way towards personhood and the awful lesbian she's doing it with. I keep calling it 'the sapphic Winter Soldier wizards' book despite being told we can't put that in the blurb.

STORY:

She was absolutely devastated by the thought of becoming the monster that kills her friends and undoes all their work. Certainly, the scions are strong, and by going down there for a while she hoped they could find a solution. At the very least some weapon to put her down. But she doesn’t believe that.

Deep down, she believes that when she eventually succumbs to the light, everyone is doomed. So when she tells the people of the Crystarium to «Hope for the best but prepare for the worst…» she really means it.

And deep within her despair, she starts to feel it. The truth in Minfilia’s sentiment. No matter how strong she is, she cannot stand on her own. She echoed it earlier, but she didn’t understand it until now. Maybe there is some hope still.

But all that is still far below the surface. Even as they move into Amaurot, she doubts herself. Hope was what the Warrior of Light gave people. Now, she is the Warrior of Darkness.

And then they do it. Together, they fight their way through the vision. Even as all seems lost at the end, and her fears are coming true, Ardbert shows up and strikes them away. Together, they lift his axe and drive it through Emet’s core.

Endwalker spoilers below!!!

When she ends up coming to the Endsinger, this lesson is what keeps her moving onwards. She already had her own End of Days. Nothing can shake her faith now. She knows that even if she were to fall, others will pick up the torch. And so, the possibility of failure no longer exists for her. From here on out, even when she fails to see the solution, she forges ahead knowing her friends can give her the pieces she is missing.

Idk, just needed to write this out a bit. Its been rattling around my head all night and I just had to ramble on.

On my first playthrough I didn’t even appreciate shadowbringers that much. I thought the story was cool and all, but Heavensward and Stormblood were my main loves still. I think I got distracted by my distaste for stakes on a cosmic scale and missed all the important personal ones.

She was absolutely devastated by the thought of becoming the monster that kills her friends and undoes all their work. Certainly, the scions are strong, and by going down there for a while she hoped they could find a solution. At the very least some weapon to put her down. But she doesn’t believe that.

Deep down, she believes that when she eventually succumbs to the light, everyone is doomed. So when she tells the people of the Crystarium to «Hope for the best but prepare for the worst…» she really means it.

And deep within her despair, she starts to feel it. The truth in Minfilia’s sentiment. No matter how strong she is, she cannot stand on her own. She echoed it earlier, but she didn’t understand it until now. Maybe there is some hope still.

But all that is still far below the surface. Even as they move into Amaurot, she doubts herself. Hope was what the Warrior of Light gave people. Now, she is the Warrior of Darkness.

And then they do it. Together, they fight their way through the vision. Even as all seems lost at the end, and her fears are coming true, Ardbert shows up and strikes them away. Together, they lift his axe and drive it through Emet’s core.

Spin the wheel again. That’s who’s trying to protect you.

(If you have zero idea about a name you got, spin until you see someone you recognize.)

Everyone else seems to really like their houses though, and you can’t see inside of them, so you just assume that you’re being weird.

And then you hear about the construction project that’s happening down the road. And you didn’t know that was an option. You can just…fix your house? It can be better? You don’t have to live with the horrible lighting and weird furniture?

But other people scoff at the construction. They complain about the noise. “Why can’t they just be happy? The plumbing is great and the furniture is so comfortable! Why would you change it? And why do we have to deal with all their issues anyways? They could just do it quietly, away from us!” And you thought everyone hated their houses, at least a little. And it’s so much work to renovate. It’s fine in your house. It sucks, but it’s fine.

Then one day you try putting up a new painting. Something small. Just for you. Just to try it. And it feels like you. It feels right. And you didn’t know anything felt that good, ever. So you start to do more. And more. And eventually you might even start construction. And it’s inconvenient, and loud, and people complain, but you didn’t know that it could feel good to go home.

And then, one day, your renovations are done. And you get to have a home like everyone else. And that joy you felt looking at that painting? It’s everywhere now. And it’s normal.

Out of respect for Jacob, I give him honkin’ bazonks🫡.

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters