TOKI WA KITA

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

the puirpose of a spider is what it does

it spides

basically i like to pick my interests based on what will be most embarrassing for me at any given time

Chat, is it considered “abusive roommate behavior” to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)

my tea bag broke

Guy who is about to give birth to leafs

#proudparent

her name is Primrose. jesus christ man

literally no better feeling than blurting out some loud dumbass joke with your buddies and hearing a total stranger ugly-snort-laugh as they walk past bc their own laughter caught them by surprise. find joy and connection in the spontaneity of strangers you son of a bitch. i fucking got your ass

This is what it's like when I say the dumbest things imaginable to my wife or partner in the checkout lines to see if the cashier will crack a smile. A little human connection between the drudgery.

A few years ago when my little sister was maybe ten or so we went to this like, novelty/antiques store which had an impressive amount of really bad taxidermy. We were sort of doing our own things and I was across the room from her so when she spots this horrible fish she has to run over and yell “ come see the ugliest taxidermied old fish I’ve ever seen “ at me. Without even thinking I just said “you’re the ugliest taxidermied old fish I’ve ever seen.” Which got a snort from an old man across the room. Anyways a few minutes later my stepmom came in and my sister said the same thing to her, and without missing a beat my stepmom deadpans “your father’s the ugliest taxidermied old fish I’ve ever seen”. The old guy absolutely LOST it

Alright tell me in the tags, what’s Your Poem? That poem you heard once and it has dwelt within you ever since?

⁉️ happy pride month turns out I Saw The TV Glow is free to watch on youtube and has been for at least three months now and i did not know until just now

i need to get gender affirming surgery

cars need extra signals that mean specific things like "i did not mean to do that" or "the cop is gone now can you please pick up the fucking pace"

My alone time is for everyone’s safety