Cosimo Galluzzi
noise dept.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Misplaced Lens Cap
will byers stan first human second
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@dancingonapinetree

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Things that actually happen in hunchback of notre dame, in no particular order
The book mostly is told from the POV of Pierre, a self-insert who is failed author and, I cannot stress this enough, utterly patheticΒ
Quasimodo damaged his hearing as a teenager from years of bell ringing and now uses sign language whenever he can
There is a scene where Quasimodo and a fellow deaf guy have to have a conversation without using sign language because theyβre in a courtroom and the jury doesnβt know sign. It goes about as well as youβd expectΒ
Frollo has a little brother, Jehan, who he raised after their parents died. Jehan is now a frat bro in college whose hobbies consist of getting drunk and being mean to Quasimodo. In his first scene Jehan complains about college DEI because an Italian guy got a scholarship he wanted.Β
Esmeralda is accused of witchcraft because she taught her pet goat Djali how to do math
Djali may or may not be sapient. He can and does imitate human mannerisms to make fun of people on purpose. He does this while on trial.Β
Yes. They tried the goat for witchcraft, too.Β
Pierre writes a whole play riding on the pun of dolphin/Dauphin. Nobody likes it.Β
Frollo is an alchemist and has a secret mad science lab where he writes on the walls
Jehan literally pulls a βbuy my silenceβ and frollo gives him money to make him shut up
Thereβs a trio of catty girls who bully Esmeralda like itβs Mean Girls
Quasimodo and Frollo literally have Cryptid Statusβ Parisians circulate rumors that Quasimodo is either a familiar, a homunculus, or the result of demonic mpreg, and that Frollo is a wizard with wizard powers and/or a ghost
There is a little old woman who lives in a hole and shouts slurs at people. She has a tragic backstory.Β
There is a homicidal con man/king of thieves named Clopin Troillefou (surname translation: The Fool of Fear) who deserves tumblr sexymanhood.
Pierre learns how to carry chairs with his teethΒ
Thereβs an entire chapter dedicated to the layout of the streets of Paris in painstaking detail
Thereβs another chapter that is a rant about interior designΒ
Esmeralda and Pierre get platonically married due to Clopinβs murderous shenanigans. Pierre tries to make a move in her but ends up being more emotionally attached to Djali the goat than to her. I think that should be grounds for divorce
There is a scene where Pierre has to choose between helping Esmeralda escape or helping Djali. He picks Djali.Β
Frollo hides from his own brother by laying face down in mud and playing dead. Somehow this worksΒ
There is a Plot Significant Tiny Shoe. A Tiny Shoe Chekhovβs Gun. And Victor Hugo will not stop telling you just how Tiny this shoe is.Β
Thereβs a soap opera style plot twist that involves a false accusation of cannibalism and the woman in the hole who shouts slurs
Quasimodo makes up a stupid little song that doesnβt even rhyme to confess his love to Esmeralda, who remains oblivious
He then attempts to demonstrate his affection via convoluted metaphors that involve props. She doesnβt get it. Boy please say what you mean
Frollo pulls the classic discord groomer tactic of threatening self-harm if Esmeralda doesnβt give in.Β
Jehan rolls up to a party/rescue mission scheming session in Clopinβs secret hideout in full plate armor (how did he get that???), drunk off his ass, and acts like he owns the place. Everyone finds this so ridiculous that they just let him
Hugo goes on and on about how innocent and naive Esmeralda is but then casually reveals that Esmeralda carries a dagger on her person at all times to fend off assault. When Frollo attacks her and Quasi intervenes, she takes Quasiβs knife and almost kills Frollo (fair!) but he flees. She contains multitudes?
Frollo has a psychotic breakdown in the middle of a field surrounded by chickens and hallucinates skeletons everywhereΒ
For the first half of the book Esmeralda is like 70% sure Frollo is a ghost, not helped by his aforementioned Cryptid Status
Jehan eats a moldy piece of cheese off the groundΒ
Frollo tries to send Pierre on a suicide mission in drag. Pierre objects to the suicide part but not the drag partΒ Β
Clopinβs preferred weapon is a scythe, heβs very good at using it, and he sings when he fights. Again: sexyman potential.Β
Victor Hugo has a foot fetish. I initially dismissed it as Frollo having a foot fetish until Victor Hugo included a foot fetish torture scene without any Frollo in it. So I can only conclude that the foot fetish is authorial in nature. Unfortunately the foot scenes are important to the plot.Β
Frollo is canonically 36, he just aged like shit and is bald. The narrator will not stop telling you just how bald he is.
Despite being in full plate armor, Jehan gets splatted like a bug
Almost every named character dies. Djali the goat lives.Β
i think it's pretty hard to be a detective when the mayor keeps tabs on what goes on in goodneighbor...
Talking about Valentines
the difference between Haymitch and Katniss's narration is so funny. Haymitch would give us everyone's social security number if he knew them, while Katniss wouldn't even tell us her mom's name.

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just thinking about the fucking lake again and its significance for so many people in the thg universe. the water stays still and everything around it changes. fucccck me.
i love everytime the lake is mentioned, especially after reading tbosas
LIGHT-HOLDER.
it's giving princess celestia
Bonus for the Inktober theme. This is one of my favorite headcanons xD
Honestly, the Emperor was right to deceive me at first. He's right that I wouldn't have trusted him. Case in point: I did not trust Omeluum in my first run when I was actually trying to roleplay and make somewhat genuine decisions (not "it's a game, let's just see what happens" decisions). I didn't even do its quest.
Ideally, someone would be honest with you so that you can decide, with all the info, whether to trust them or not. But desperate times and all that. He needed our trust. The fate of a lot of people depended on it. Even if he only cares about saving himself, it's still saving a lot of other lives too, including ours.
Also, plenty of people hide or change things about themselves for their own safety or comfort. Queerness, disability, religion. Things like makeup, hair dye, clothes, and surgery can change how we look. Many people don't even use their real name or share pictures of themselves online.
Also, half of our companions lie or manipulate or withhold info from us too. Astarion tries to manipulate you by seducing you. Astarion, Shadowheart, Gale, and Wyll all withhold important info about themselves.
Also, what does it even matter? Elf, half-orc, mindflayer, what difference does that make? He was still doing what he said he was---protecting us.
Also, he's pretty honest about everything else. He tells you right away that he stole the power he's using to protect you. Tells you he's doing this because he wants to be free of the Absolute. Tells you he ran the Knights of the Shield. Tells you how he got captured by Gortash, mind controlled again, and sent on the nautiloid to find the prism. And when he tells you the tadpole powers will help in your fight, that is also simply the truth.
I have never felt any sort of betrayal from the Emperor.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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help him...
(credit to @kingpreussen for the Spidey dialogue π₯)
Technically true.
He got the job.
He takes his job seriously.
Prof Rad over on youtube dubbed the Wolf Hunter comicΒ (click here)!Β
Go check it out and give them some support! :) (also the end killed me haha) βα’β’ο»β’α’β
The farmer sheared the sheep, and it was used to make a gift for Wolf Hunter, soβ¦
Wolf Hunter goes to the village markets.
Wolf Hunter and his conga line of sheep.
Wolf Hunter was looking for them for a while.
Not a werewolf.
The disappearance. π
my evil chalice came in but its so fucking small. goddamnit. they're going to make fun of me at the wizards circle tonight
loser
FUUUUUUUCK !!
Wh wha what if what if what what if if he what if he- wha- like what if
i love you like all-fire

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
the way haymitch must have seen it as all his ghosts coming back to haunt him at once when katniss walked onto the train with the face of burdock and asterid, the pin of maysilee, the voice of lenore dove, and a background so devastatingly similar to his own. of course sweetheart slipped out. and of course he did everything he could to keep her alive
Haymitch and his ducklings