No tits. No masters.

There's so many ways to take that.

I wanted to tell you you you

You're not a good person and it's odd

How you will

raise a little boy

To grow up to

Be a little boy?

I don't hold grudges

I don't burn bridges

I sit in the bushes till

everyone leaves

They make like trees

I have a string of things along my scar,

Don't care to know how far along they are

Going away for a few days

I might be making huge mistakes. I panicked a bit. About my father: as thrilled as I am to reconnect, he still hasn’t gotten on that wagon yet.. am I setting myself up for huge rejection? Did I just do something really stupid?!

And as for Keith. I messaged him about my dad and the deaths I learned about after talking to Lori... and he did not reply. (yet?) I feel like we will get back together. But ‘just cause you feel it.. doesn’t mean it’s there..” Again. Breaking the rule of tooootally ignoring someone who dumped you - more or less- by default by being unable to simply tell me what I mean to him, beyond that I mean a lot to him. 

I am glad he is in Connecticut but this is a bad time to not have a confidante. I think I will reach out to Lori again. I wanted very much last night to get wasted. I took a walk, bought some weed, lit some sparklers and smoked a joint with my friends instead, then did dark arts and crafts literally all night. No sleep.

Speaking of, it’s very late, hopefully I can control my compulsion to make art  to actually fall asleep and stay asleep. 

DO I DARE look at other men to go on dates with, I wonder?? This would be a mortal sin to Keith, but he won’t be my boyfriend...? What if someone actually, proudly, adores me?