Aaliyah

I wouldn’t be surprised if God called me by your name considering the amount of times I’ve prayed your name over mine.

No one seems to understand that I’m scared of happiness it’s self, nothing last forever and it has been proven over and over and over and over and over and over and over again

This grief has hands and it’s clawing at my throat.

My grief is proof you existed, I don’t want to heal, I don’t want to forget.

No one told me about the grief you’d feel as you grew up, it was unfair but life moved on and you grew more.

There comes a time when you realise no matter how hard you try you cannot fix your father, even that wont make you give up.

And he hated nothing more than seeing himself in his daughter, he knew she was doomed for the rest of her miserable life.

Who am I if not my illness?

You could spend your whole life searching for yourself and still never find that missing piece.

How could you create something for nine months and choose not to love it?

I’m grieving you well you stand in front of me

You should’ve meet me before every bad thing happened to me, you would’ve liked me more.

I have been starved of your love, do you see me? Do you see my bones?

I have been trying to go home my whole life.

Mother I have out grown your arms but please don’t drop me, I’m not ready.

I couldn’t draw a familiar face if God asked.

There was no smell more comforting than the smell of a cigarette that lingered on your hand, please hold my face again, please let me smell you again.