Dakon

1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

6. Elderly surgeon to the anaesthetist who is gossipping with their reg: "I need you to pretend you're in church." [weirdest way to ask people to be quiet, but whatevs]

Anaethetist's new reg with big, horrified eyes: "You mean we should start praying???"

7. Panicking rad tech: "Uhhhh my machine broke. I need to jump on this part and kick it, but I am not paid enough if I break it. Can you - "

Surgeon, casual as: "Yeah, sure."

:violently beats up the C-arm until it starts pumping out those sweet, sweet x-rays:

8. ODP to theatre assistant: "Saw the new tasche earlier. Suits you."

Theatre assistant: "Thanks! it grew on me :)"

9. Surgeon using the electrocauter, leaning over the incision and inhaling deeply: mmmmm, that smell always gets me hungry. I'm having barbeque tonight.

Spinal surgeon: hey, that scoli's getting bad. want me to fix it for ya?

Me: I mean. There's a pretty long wait list

Spinal surgeon: yeah but I could do it tonight

Me: that would be very illegal, Jeff

Buck: Ooh, sunflower seeds *takes the bag out of his hands and eats some*

Eddie: Guess I'm sharing today.

Buck: You know what my problem with sunflower seeds is?

Eddie: So first you steal my seeds, and now you're gonna criticize?

Hen: What?

Eddie: I'm not sure. It's just a possibility. I could be wrong.

Hen: But how? When?

Eddie: Well, we spent the entirety of Chim and Maddie's wedding together and it was really nice and we had a really good time. We laughed a lot and we ate and then we danced.

Hen: Danced? How? Was it a fast dance? Slow dance?

Eddie: It was a slow dance, a waltz. Buck can waltz.

Hen: Buck can waltz?

Eddie: Buck can waltz. 😏

Hen: ...Look how you just said 'Buck can waltz.'

Eddie: What? I'm just saying, I'm surprised that Buck can waltz.

im eating flies and live inside a log!

stacy cant you see she has placed a spell on me!