Not Quite Your Average Duchess, eh?

 AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Good morning everyone! In case you have crept FURTHER into the sensory deprivation tank which is everyone’s only source of peace these days: last night Trump fired FBI director James Comey. Comey found out about it on TV, bc Tromp is a lunatic who loves a spectacle. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

On one level this is of course hilarious, because Fucko Jim is a true Fucko and it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. but on ANOTHER level it’s insane, because James Comey is heading an open investigation into Trump’s ties with Vladimir Putin, and firing the person who is investigating you–THRICE!–is kiiiiind of what dictators do? LOL. 

So what can you do? Great question, my despairing yet undefeated little slices of plumcot. My answer is what it usually is: time to contact your elected representatives. Find their contact info here. Find an excellent guide to the issues and stakes here at Indivisible.

A few sample call scripts, slightly adapted from Indivisible:

FOR HOUSE GOP:

Hi, my name is [your name] and I’m a constituent from [your town]. I’m calling because I’m appalled by President Trump’s firing the director of an investigation into his own administration’s ties to Vladimir Putin. It’s the kind of thing autocrats do. [SHORT PERSONAL STORY ABOUT WHY U WOULD RATHER NOT BE RULED BY AN AUTOCRAT??] The American people deserve to know exactly what happened, how it happened, and what our elected leaders are doing to prevent it from happening again. Will [Rep’s name] stand up for [his/her] constituents by supporting an independent investigation into Russian tampering in our elections, and co-sponsoring the Protecting Our Democracy Act (H.R. 356)?

FOR SENATE GOP:

Hi, my name is [your name] and I’m a constituent from [your town]. I’m calling because I’m appalled by President Trump’s firing the director of an investigation into his own administration’s ties to Vladimir Putin. It’s the kind of thing autocrats do. [SHORT PERSONAL STORY ABOUT WHY U WOULD RATHER NOT BE RULED BY AN AUTOCRAT??] The American people deserve to know exactly what happened, how it happened, and what our elected leaders are doing to prevent it from happening again. Will [Senator’s name] stand up for [his/her] constituents by co-sponsoring Senator Cardin’s bill, S. 27, which would create an independent investigation into Russian interference?

FOR DEMOCRATS IN BOTH HOUSES:

Hi, my name is [your name] and I’m a constituent from [your town]. I’m calling because [SCREAMING] IT’S ON FIRE!! IT’S ALL ON FIRE, DUDE! HELP!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

no, just kidding, hahahaha. FOR DEMOCRATS & GOP-ERS WHO HAVE COME OUT IN SUPPORT OF INDEPENDENT INVESTIGATION:

Hi, my name is [your name] and I’m a constituent from [your town]. I’m calling because I’m appalled by President Trump’s firing the director of an investigation into his own administration’s ties to Vladimir Putin. [SHORT PERSONAL STORY ABOUT WHY U WOULD RATHER NOT BE RULED BY AN AUTOCRAT.] I just want to thank [elected’s name] for speaking out and I ask him/her to keep fighting on behalf of his/her constituents and the American people.

Please remember that one of the most effective tools in the arsenal of autocracy is the feeling of hopelessness. People who believe their voices are not useful don’t speak up. People who believe the war is over don’t fight back. But your sense that there’s Nothing You Can Do About All This isn’t an objective truth. It’s a weapon being actively deployed against you by an administration that wants you to stop caring. As MC Lyte once said, Fuck that motherfucking bullshit. Kiss my motherfucking ass.

“In patriarchal culture, all males learn a role that restricts and confines. When race and class enter the picture, along with patriarchy, then black males endure the worst impositions of gendered masculine patriarchal identity.” — Bell Hooks