Daddys-Chubby Cookie

@daddys-chubby-cookie

Welcome to my blog! You can call me Cookie and I’m 29This is a patchwork of things I find interesting. From kink, to memes, to fandom,to queerness, this is my one stop shop. I’m an anime nerd who will happily simp on my side blog (but follows will come from here) This blog 100% NSFW and should not be viewed by anyone under the age of 18. Bigotry won’t be tolerated so don’t try me.

110.5K posts

Posts

squeakitties

necromosss

As the person who got their R keyboard broken and the world mocked me for being forced to use the uwu language as replacement

My condolences

commodore-64

put that back

the-davest-of-uncles

National Lampoon, October 1985

•18+ Adults Only

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imaginarylands4000

dragon-in-a-fez

it's cool how in the 6 years since this tweet was written it's become significantly less useful not because anything has gotten better but because the majority of products on Amazon are now from fly-by-night brands called "ZZPORK" and "GLUM4PANT"

memeuplift

teaboot

Because I am of the belief that Adulthood is just Childhood 2: Electric Boogaloo and also because nobody can stop me, I have a large and varied number of eccentric hobbies which includes cleaning and restoring old wigs, which is why today I opened a box left on my doorstep to find the unholy inbred child of both ugly step-sisters ratted out all to hell and fossilized into a rock-solid mat of tangles and glue, to which I had no choice but to let a single glimmering tear to roll cinematically down my cheek as I gently ran my fingers about half a millimeter into the Teflon-reinforced hell nest and whispered, "who did this to you"

veryluckyclovers

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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zuccnini

[oc] Bedtime Worm

garaks-padded-cell

I just mowed my 88 year old papas lawn and when i came back inside he lifted my arm to reveal a bug that was attempting to hitchhike into the house. At which point he said "you will NEVER escape my garden." And flicked it back into the grass

teaboot

Garden of Eden Good Ending AU

teaboot

You know if I found a juicer i never used before id use something like an apple or perhaps a carrot, normal juice things

all I have is natural curiosity and my sense of childlike wonder ad this big fucking sack of onions

justhavetofeelthewaves

Oh. I just thought you were euphemistically crying with joy. Not that you’d uh. Made onion juice

teaboot

I made a full fucking pitcher of onion juice

injuries-in-dust

lakemojave

@inneskeeper

flagellant

...I want to refute this but no, I....yeah

tundrakatiebean

[captions]

Person on screen: needs a couple pats of butter, a splash of olive oil, simmered on low with a bay leaf and a cinnamon stick. What?! You never seen a boy who knows his way around the kitchen?

Yeah my mom always wanted a little girl but she got stuck with me instead. That wasn’t gonna stop her though so all my friends were opening up nerf guns and bmx bikes on their birthday, I was getting crockpots.

(scene changes to the person dressed in a nice black suit jacket, bright pink dress shirt, and black tie) Yeah laugh it up! Take a picture while you’re at it 'cause this is the last time you’ll ever see me in a suit! How do boys wear these things??

(scene changes to the person dressed in the same shirt and tie with no jacket and the shirt cuffs unbuttoned and rolled up, with purple nail polish on their nails) No, I don’t know how to fight. I was only ever taught how to deescalate situations with healthy communication and emotional validation.

coldwateriztasty

teaboot

This time I'm really gonna fucking do it*

*clean out the oldass canned shit that's been sitting in the pantry for literal years because sometimes there really isn't any food and so throwing anything out that's still unopened is basically the eighth deadly biblical sin but honest hand to god that shit is never getting eaten

teaboot

Ruh-Roh Raggy

teaboot

Hey. Hey not to make a jokepost deep but some of this shit was in my go-bag from before I moved out of my parent's house.

I first packed it up in ziplock freezer bags along with matches and a tarp n other junk in case shit went south and I needed to lay low in the woods a couple days.

And now I'm an adult, living in my own apartment, paying my own rent with my own career in a job I enjoy, with my own towels and plates and shampoo I bought because I like the smell.

Shit gets good out here

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

teaboot

This time I'm really gonna fucking do it*

*clean out the oldass canned shit that's been sitting in the pantry for literal years because sometimes there really isn't any food and so throwing anything out that's still unopened is basically the eighth deadly biblical sin but honest hand to god that shit is never getting eaten

wizardarchetypes

first time I ever went to the animal shelter and picked out my own animal was surreal. we had so many animals growing up but we never picked out any of them. and sure that’s normal for cats. they just showed up and we adopted them. but it didn’t end there.

we had a ball python because my mom was on a walk with her friends, saw it on the ground (this was Ohio) said “woah! that’s not native!” and put it in her purse. we advertised but never found the owner so we kept the purse python.

we ended up with a corn snake during a hurricane because my mom went out to get one of the cats and the corn snake was so little it came blowing through the air like a branch and my mom reached out and grabbed it out of the air to save it.

actually the point of this post is lost because I typed this far and realized the universe was maybe just sending my mom snakes specifically.

homunculus-argument

I've been fed, walked and watered and I've slept enough and been out of the internet and I'm doing crafts.

Why am I still angry.

homunculus-argument

I walked right into this one like a blind horse into a revolving door.

loveridden1999

power-chords

This Dan Piraro comic always makes me cry.

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

polutropos-puppyboy

i have for a while been using stepping on somebody's toes as a metaphor for misgendering. and i genuinely think that it's kind of a good one.

polutropos-puppyboy

if you keep stepping on somebody's toes for a long time at minimum they're probably going to start really hating you and at maximum you might cause them lasting damage.

if you do it on purpose you're a dick. if it's on accident but you keep doing it that person is still going to be mad at you because you don't care enough to try not to step on their toes

polutropos-puppyboy

if you give a grovelling begging apology after accidentally stepping on somebody's toes one time you're going to make the whole thing awkward, but not giving a quick "sorry" before moving on is still kind of rude.

awfulpunk

this is insanely racist and I haven't even seen much about this online yet

checkyourasianbias

after Bad Bunny won they added a Latin song category and after Rosé got three nominations the grammys added a k-pop/c-pop/j-pop category they have always been afraid of well-performing artists of color challenging white artists in mainstream categories

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