Reasons why the Villagers of Stardew Valley should be fucking terrified of the Farmer
I bet Pierre wrote this. He definitely would.
They can eat food. Forever. Try and beat them in a drinking contest? You'll be getting a new liver and they'll be standing over you with another mug of beer in their hand
They know what you like. Maybe even stuff you didn't know you liked
They do not walk; it's not an option. There is only sprint like the ghost of your past sins are chasing you down
They can appear where they want at will. You'll see them leave town in one direction and appear in the other
Anyone who can single-handedly bring down a corporate entity while seducing all the single young men and women of the town should be respected and feared
They talked to the fucking wizard in the tower. What the fuck.
They can control the weather. Tell them it would be nice to have a summer shower after months of drought? Well guess what happened.
WHERE. DO. THEY. KEEP. FINDING. THE. ARTIFACTS.
WHO'S. BLOOD. IS. THAT.
They made friends with a sewer creature. How did it even get there?
THEIR HORSE CAN ALSO APPEAR AT THEIR WILL WHAT IS THIS SORCERY
Feel free to add to this it's too much fun
