"human" disaster

I like when you click a link and it turns purple its like youre bruising it

DO NOT BREAK THE WINDOW! he has NO food and NO water, he is listening to his LEAST FAVORITE MUSIC, the HEAT IS ON and the WINDOWS ARE SEALED WITH LIQUID CEMENT. we HATE OUR SHITTY DOG and ARE TRYING TO KILL HIM. thanks!

It hurts when you don't say it

i love people so much that im trying to be one myself. its a bit crazy, i know…

"can you be a fan of a video game you havent played" discourse is stupid, because plenty of people who played the game have some of the dumbest fucking takes ive ever seen

i bought the new Lego Tower of Babel set but the instructions stop making sense about halfway through the little booklet thingy.

getting pussy and/or cock is not possible or feasible

I'm, above all else, a tangentgirl. always saying shit like "sidenote," "oh also," "by the way,"

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man