Gay and Punk

I’m ready to be transformed by the ibuprofen . I’m ready to be born again in its purifying light.

i wish we could shoplift online

I'm playing Hitman again and the guards on this level sometimes shout "I'm gonna fill your ass with lead!!" when they open fire at you. unfortunately I just shot this guy in the face before he could finish his sentence, so his last words were "I'm gonna fill your ass" which is. a different vibe

OP is the guard single. Asking for a friend.

he's dead. from the being shot in the face

do it scared all you want but whatever you do, dont do it hungry

I feel bad for people who’ve never experienced a corn maze bc it’s not even fun but you just have to do it

I like when little kids lie not to be malicious but because they’re literally figuring out how true/false conditions work. Like they learn to talk and then they’re like wait… I can just say ANY words, huh.

Sometimes when a child tells a “random” lie I just behave as if I accept their statement unequivocally and 9/10 times within five minutes they’re like “miss Study 🥺🥺🥺 I am so sorry. I lied to you. My dog ISN’T actually purple and older than my grandpa😔😔😔”

(In the cuck chair)(starts booing)

(Wife looks over)(I do a roman emperor thumbs down)(she executes the other guy)

hello august you piece of shit

goodbye august you piece of shit

absolutely fascinating when someone likes a post you reblogged in 2017 and nothing else like king how did you even find that

getting post-visit summary from the doctor and its just an 8x11 piece of paper with "weirrrrrd" written on it dead center in 10pt Times New Roman and nothing else

sharks every time theres a cataclysmic extinction event: damn thats crazy. anyway

Good thing I’m so smooth

Didn't mean to use that picture

what's his #?

are you asking me for Jensen Ackles' number