Dear Agony

Over 90% of parents of visibly intersex children opt for cosmetic surgery on their infants.

The ones that don't experience medical violence then, likely experience it as a teenager.

I didn't.

I am very rare in that I did not experience medical violence.

Why? Because I learned what intersexuality was as a young age, and I actively fought against what doctors wanted to do to me. All the way down to legal research on what medical care minors can be forced into. I remember walking into that doctor's appointment with the state law written down that proved that if I did not consent they could not do surgery.

Obviously, no parent wants their child to be a bad person who causes harm, and being faced with the reality one of your kids has abused the other is absolutely a harrowing ams difficult experience. But it's your duty as the parent to stop that behaviour. Weather that be by separating the siblings, getting mental health services involved, gods forbid but law enforcement involved, having one sibling stay at another family member/friends house, etc. Whatever the methord that works for you, it is your DUTY as a parent to step in when one of your kids is abusing the other. If you don't, you are complacent and letting the abuse continue.

Sibling abuse is barely talked about, but it's devastatingly real, and more often than not, the parents are involved directly or know of it and don't do anything about it.

This has been a PSA from a victim who was abused by their mother AND sister.

This is very true.

my parents: "Wow, we really lucked out. This one raises *itself*."

me now:

– has 8 mental breakdowns a week

– depression so bad I need a spreadsheet to answer emails

– once got so overwhelmed I took a nap *on the floor*

– lives on vibes, being feral, and blind panic

– forgets to eat until dizzy

– has anxiety so loud even my plants are nervous

– quit every job she had

– mental health held together by memes and stuffed animals

my parents: "Should we be worried??"