Palest Bitch In Florida

HINGA DINGA DERGEN!

Some of you really deserve to be called the F word.

all i ever think about is skincare and getting rawed

have you guys considered hobbies

all i ever think about is tabletop roleplaying games and getting rawed

have you considered skincare

Someone do the triangle where you can only pick two.

Reach for the stars, get all three

Shadow of the Colossus

it’s officially impossible for me to fall in love bc last night at a party drunk-me remembered that sober-me had thrown 3 funsize kitkats into my bag with the explicit thought “drunk-me is going to be so excited when she finds these” and i don’t think any other person is gonna be able to love me like that

but what did drunk you ever do for sober you

one time i blacked out and woke up to find 13 full sized rolls of ritz crackers in my bag bc drunk me is also an ideal provider

god, imagine sharing a bed with the person you love. chatting about dumb things! just sleeping! it’s like a sleepover but every night how sweet is that!!!!

All the people in long term relationships will fight to the death for that fucking blanket at night

While simultaneously waving to the person you’re crossing as a thank you

reblog to save a life

I use the snapchat camera to take selfies…the iPhone camera captures the real me…a me I don’t want to see…

THANK YOU

STICK HIM LEGS UP IN THE AIR

If you’re trying to catch a housecat that’s gotten outside, don’t forget: they’re an ambush predator and you’re a persistence predator. You have several times more endurance than they do - use that to your advantage! Don’t run after them; that’s playing to the cat’s strengths, and vigorous pursuit may cause them to hide. Instead, follow them at a brisk walking pace until they get tired and need to have a lie-down, at which point you can simply pick them up and take them home.

Ok but no shit this tactic is what allowed humans to survive pre-civilisation