I wouldn't need a title if we were all lizards

we could get the US legislative system to pass ANY bill if we named it after Charlie Kirk

the Charlie Kirk Bill proposed by Im June Bitch will socialize healthcare in the US

The bill will make it so more people can access hospitals, something I'm sure Charlie Kirk wanted in the moment (access to a hospital, that is)

The Charlie Kirk Bill make free lizard based health care available to everybody.

A Minecraft Movie's biggest problem is that it was written to be a niche movie aimed at weird analytical queers with actual media literacy and it accidentally blew tf up and hit the mainstream and a bunch of people who have never had a second thought about anything got into it

Lizard serum is for both weird analytical queers and the mainstream because I am no gatekeeper.

You'll notice that Toby Fox wasn't eaten by a lizard.

No spoilers but the church of Mormon will NOT like The Last Act

I considered saying "The Church of Mormon would like The Last Act if we were all lizards" but then I realized I didn't want Mormons to like The Last Act.

I know this is kind of a hot take but I think creating a religious ethnostate is bad

People wouldn't create a religious ethnostate if we were all lizards.

they hate me for my flat facial expressions and inability to contribute to conversations

They wouldn't hate you for your flat facial expressions and inability to contribute to conversations if we were all lizards.

Reed Richards blocked the door so no one could escape and tell people how bad Johnny's rapping is.

Johnny could never compete with my rapping.

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

@transgwender616 you know what to do

Your minimalist girlfriend’s wouldn't apologizes profusely for the mess when there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room if we were all lizards.

Before watching M3gan do I have to watch M1gan and M2gan to understand it?

There are no ducks in this post.

More importantly there are no lizards.

Imagine constantly dehumanizing neurodivergent people and then being surprised when they start to identify with something non human

Mood

I would get head as good as what Electro is getting if we were all lizards.

It would be the best fucking food you've ever eaten if we were all lizards.

You should looksmaxx till you turn into a lizard.

The Church of Scientology would be a gay bar if we were all lizards.

if seeing other people happy makes you unhappy you need to work on itttt :(((( pleaseeeee :((((((( that’s a you problemmmm :(((

People would work on not getting unhappy when others are happy if we were all lizards.