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And that feeling never changed, not once in his first years of life, on the contrary, when he was three years old and his tiny tiny baby brother was born the love he felt grew so much he thought his chest would explode from how big it was. But his mother seemed to lack the ability to let the love in her chest grow, at least not at her children, she adored one thing, the blood running through her son's veins, but nothing else.

Sirius slowly started noticing the pattern, even when he was very little, the way his brother would cry and cry at night, alone in the cold nursery he knew very well, her mother would cast a muffliato spell so the cries wouldn't bother her, but nothing more, so when no one was looking, Sirius would sneak into the nursery room, standing on his toes to look at his brother, and softly rock his crib, humming for him and promising in a tiny voice he wasn't alone, and Regulus would stop crying eventually, falling asleep with his tiny hand wrapped around Sirius' tiny finger.

They grew up together, intertwined like branches of a three, wherever Sirius was Regulus followed devotedly, Regulus never asked questions, he was always near Sirius, he even let his hair grow to look more like Sirius.

Some times Regulus would cause trouble, break something by accident, or maybe he was not playing the piano perfectly, not eating appropriately, raising his voice more than he should or because he was laughing, then he'd get punished, a lacerating spell that caused him to have red ugly marks on his ankles, and his back, that would eventually turn silver. But Sirius was too young and too scared of their mother, and all he could do was hug Regulus on their shared bed, hug him while Regulus cried the same way he did when he was just a baby, and Sirius would calm his pain by rocking him softly and humming the exact same lullaby he'd made up when Regulus' needed it the most, even as they grew, things didn't change, until inevitably everything changed.

Sirius had promised that his little brother would not ever feel what it was like to be alone and scared, but he failed to his promise the day he knew something different, when he learned that life wasn't supposed to be so painful, so lonely and so terrifying. James had been a light to his darkened world, and Sirius flew at him like a moth to a flame, James was like breathing after being under water for years and years, Sirius thought that James was born to save him, he believed it so fiercely he forgot there was someone else in need of salvation.

It was only the day he found himself trapped in the claws of their mother when he realized he'd been too blinded by the shining life James and his family offered. He didn't even realize when they caught him, he'd been spending the first days of summer in Grimmauld's Place, barely talking to his brother who seemed to have closed up after the last Christmas while Sirius wasn't home, but it didn't seem to be something important, maybe Regulus was going through his reckless teenage phase, he'd been there a year before, he was still there, so he tried to understand and convince himself it was normal, but Sirius was wrong, there was no such thing as normality in their house, and there hadn't been gentleness for his baby brother either.

His mother was fuming with rage one night, which was usual, but this time she wasn't alone, Orion Black was there, and a lot of other people Sirius feared ever since he was young, it was some sort of gathering, and he didn't mind until he was escorted by Bella to the piano room, the same where Reg and him used to use as a playground when they were little.

— Why did you bring me here? I told you I won't say anything,— Sirius mind blanked out the second he laid eyes on the figure sitting on a chair, his hands immobilized by some sort of spell, Regulus only widened his eyes, trying to communicate something, they had taken his voice too.

— You are of age now, little star.— Bella's voice was like nails on chalkboard, ringing in his ears and causing his heart to pound really hard.— It is time you learn your place in this family.

She was mocking him, it was obvious, not only because he was still a child, he was one year away from being of age, but because he'd been so convinced for months that he could be a part of the Potters, that he could have a loving family and a peaceful life, he really thought he could scape; Walburga walked in the room, signaling Bella to leave the three of them alone, the door closed behind her and Sirius felt the same way he did when he was little, getting caught doing some reckless thing, he felt small in the presence of his mother, and now he could smell the scent of dark magic surrounding her and filling the air until it was almost suffocating.

— My heir, our Dark Lord demands us to prove our loyalty. — She started, her voice was velvety, as if she was trying to lure him into thinking the way all of the Black family thought. — And he will take you even when you've been acting like a blood traitor.

Sirius always knew something was very wrong with his mother, but hearing the tone with which she was speaking made him shudder in fear; she was completely gone now, talking in a desperate but calm voice, as if she was saying some sort of prayer, as if she was talking about Merlin himself, her voice even cracked with emotion, with pure and sheer devotion.

— This is our chance, Sirius… Make this easy for us, for him.

That he understood pretty well, Walburga was using Regulus as a exchange coin, she was manipulating him to force him to get the dark mark, with his little brother, their mother knew what brewed inside their hearts despite how they relation had changed over the years, she knew Sirius would die for his brother, but Sirius would not give her the pleasure to show weakness, so he did what thought was right, straightening his back, chin lifted high and with that impassive expression on his face, he'd learned well from all of them.

— I won't join that fucker, kill me if you want, but you won't have-

Suddenly his whole word was upside down, as if something was ripping his flesh apart from the insides, he screamed in pain, falling to his knees. His brain was melting inside his skull and his eyes were trying to escape from his face, even his heart felt like it was being squeezed, everything was exploding inside of him, reconstructing and getting destroyed all over again, until it stopped as quickly as it started, Sirius panted for air, pressing his cheek to the cold stone under him, his bones weren't his anymore, he couldn't stop its movements, the nerves and ligaments were threatening them to break them in half.

— I thought you said that, Sirius, my darling… Your father said you'd rather die, but that'd be easy, won't it? — A flicker of her wand freed Regulus and he immediately ran towards Sirius, trying to check on him some sort of electric shock wave hit him when he tried to touch his brother; the remnants of the curse.

— Don't make me do something you'll regret, darling… — She pointed her wand at Regulus. — Last chance, Sirius…

She didn't even need to explain what she meant, it was obvious; torturing Regulus would definitely soften Sirius' resolve, but he tried to show her it was pointless, that he didn't love his brother as fiercely as before, that he didn't care if he suffered or not, he tried to show her that she couldn't use Regulus as a weapon against him.

— Kill him… if you want, I won't… — He tried to speak, ignoring the panic in Regulus' eyes, still unable to speak. — I won't let you mark me… Kill him!

Liar, liar, liar.

He cared, Merlin, he cared too much, James wasn't his light and life, it was Regulus, it had always been Regulus, his laughter when he was a child, his tiny hand holding Sirius' when he started walking, his arms wrapped around Regulus' tiny body after the first time Walburga casted the lacerating curse on him after he accidentally broke a vase, it was Regulus' smile across the Great Hall when he got sorted into Slytherin, proudly showing Sirius he would make everyone proud and that the suffering would stop because now he would take care of Sirius now. Sirius finally cried, silently, and Walburga saw he was lying.

Her hand raised, wand tightly gripped in her slender fingers that never showed any kindness to her children, and Sirius broke, forcing his body to move and somewhat block Regulus from her.

— ¡No! No, please, please. — Sirius cried out loud, already on his knees, fighting against the aftershocks caused by the curse. — I'll do it, I will… But don't…

His heart was pounding on his ears, so hard he thought he could just spit it out if he as much as coughed, but he was desperate, desperate to save his baby brother, his baby, his life and his whole world. Regulus was his, Walburga didn't have any right to touch him, not once, Sirius had raised him, with love and care he never knew for himself until he met the Potters, he'd protected Regulus with his own life, and it wouldn't change now, not even after their mother just cast the cruciatus on him, not even when his legs were wobbly and his brain melting inside his skull, even if it meant ruin his life forever and lose everything he had now.

— Go get Bellatrix. — She barked at Kreacher, and the elf disappeared out of the room with a snap of his fingers.

Walburga didn't even look at Sirius, nor at Regulus who was now kneeling next to his brother. Sirius realized he had a small chance, the smallest of them all, everything was a stake, but nothing mattered, he needed to get Regulus out of there.

Regulus' hands were everywhere but Sirius barely felt them, his eyes were burning holes in Walburga's back while she looked out the window, he'd killed her if she dared to lay a hand on his brother.

— Sirius… —Regulus' voice woke him up from his trance, he didn't even realize his nose was bleeding until he noticed his brother's fingers were stained with red,— Don't do it… I can, I will… I'm strong now.

They were scared, but Sirius pushed his fear to the bottom of his pained heart, fueled by the brave words coming from Regulus' shaking lips, he needed to be brave and reckless and fast, he swallowed hard, his mouth filled with the unmistakable taste of blood, he'd bit his tongue while seizing.

— Hold my hand…—He whispered, using all his strength to move, dragging his own body towards the fireplace, not making a sound, begging for his body to cooperate even when it was still seizing.

— Sirius…

A single look from Sirius was enough, Regulus gripped his wrist so tightly it hurt, just a bit more, Regulus was moving with him, slowly, so slowly, too slow.

— What do you think you're doing, Sirius Black?!— Walburga screamed, raising her wand.

Sirius' body was so weakened after being tortured, it hurt everywhere, his stomach wasn't where it was supposed to be and still, he moved fast, his bones protested inside and something cracked; groaning out loud and resting his whole weight on Regulus so he could reach for the ceramic cup where they kept the floo powder, he didn't grab it, his fingers didn't work, he just pulled it to the floor, it should be enough with the powder that fell on their bodies and the fireplace.

Sirius pushed both his body and Regulus' to the fireplace, thinking about nothing but the Potter Mansion with his confused brain, hugging Regulus as tightly as he could, he was sure he was hurting his brother, digging his nails into the soft skin of his shoulders and the nape of his neck, but he didn't care at all, he would apologize later if they survived.

Green fire consumed them in a second, but his eyes were closed so tightly he was seeing stars and nothing more, his body hit the floor too hard, followed by his head and Regulus' weight fell on him too, but nothing mattered, he needed to save his brother, he needed to…

— Help us! Please, please, help him! James! please…

Regulus screamed so hard his throat burnt, but he wouldn't stop screaming and begging for help even when a woman, perhaps the same age as his own mother came rushing downstairs, he couldn't even focus on her face, he just backed away from Sirius' limp body, covering mouth and crying so hard he thought his head would burst any moment because of the pressure he was putting on his body. Regulus was shaking, desperate as the woman checked on Sirius, she was crying too, silently, but her shoulders were shaking too while murmuring words. Sirius was breathing, he was alive, he was not alone.

— Regulus! Regulus breathe!

The younger Black looked at whoever was holding his shoulders, shaking him, it was James, he knew him, didn't he? Another hard shake from his hands and Regulus took a deep breath, coming out of the shock so quickly and so hard he started crying even louder.

— Sirius, my brother! help him!

Regulus tried to crawl towards Sirius' body, still limp on the floor, he wasn't moving unlike the world around him, everything was spinning and in a moment everything went black, but his body was being held by gentle hand he never knew from anyone but Sirius, they were safe, Sirius was safe now, and he would make sure their mother stayed as far as she could from them both, even if it meant killing her with his bare hands.

——

Suddenly he sat up straight, his heart going wild inside his chest and his breathing coming in shagged pants, the memories flooding his mind too quickly.

— Sirius! — Regulus yelped out loud, looking around with panic in his gray eyes.

He didn't know this room, it was too bright, it was too colorful despite all the walls being pale blue, he tried to stand once and then twice, only to find out his legs weren't working properly.

— Oh, you're awake,—James entered the room with a tray of tea and cookies,— don't try to stand yet, please, mum gave you sleeping draught because you wouldn't stop screaming in your sleep.

Regulus followed James with his eyes, a wary expression on his face while the boy placed the tray on the nightstand very carefully, he noticed just then that he didn't have his wand on him, and it was conveniently placed next to the tray, Regulus' face hardened into an unreadable gesture, as if James himself had just stole from him, and James seemed to notice the change on Regulus, because he smiled, the fucker smiled.

— I didn't steal it, here.

Regulus took his wand from James' hand, still frowning and looking at him as if he was a threat, as if he wasn't screaming for him to save Sirius a few hours ago.

— How are you feeling, Regulus? Aside from the numbness on your legs, you didn't hit your head when arriving, and mum said your injuries weren't bad, just a few scratches here and there, —James was talking, and talking, and talking, without erasing that smile from his face, was he always like this?

Regulus' patience started to wear off, he could feel his brain throb painfully inside his skull, and James kept talking about a hundred things at the same time, smiling, gesturing, and smiling.

— Where is my brother?

Regulus' voice was sharp and harsh, a bit rougher than his usually melodic tone, his throat was dry, and a bit sore from screaming and crying, so James handed him the cup of tea from the tray, and Regulus took a long sip from the hot liquid, which helped his sore throat immediately. He didn't know why but he had the need to remind James that Sirius was his brother, and not James'.

— Oh, Sirius…— James lowered his gaze, as if the mere mention of his name hurt him.

All the alarms inside Regulus started to go off, why did James had that mournful expression on his face? why did his eyes suddenly lose all their shine?

— Where. Is. My. Brother?

Regulus gripped his wand tightly, pointing it at James, if something had happened to Sirius while he was asleep he wouldn't ever forgive himself, he would kill everyone in this damned house to get to Sirius, and he'd start with James; Regulus' eyes were shining in pure rage, but James quickly lifted his hand in a gesture of surrender, wide eyed, and visibly shaken.

— Relax, please… Lower your wand, he's asleep, he's with Remus in my room, I promise you… Just put the wand down…

He hated James and his soothing tone, he was talking to him as if he was some sort of wounded animal, it was frustrating, he wasn't wounded, he wasn't scared and he didn't need James' pity; Regulus stood slowly, forcing his legs to fully work or at least hold his own weight, still pointing his wand at James, and, as he moved, the wooden tip pressed against James' throat.

— Take me to see him, now.

He did not have time to ask nicely, seconds were valuable, one second could compromise Sirius' life and well-being, he couldn't risk it at all.

— Okay, okay, follow me.— James turned his back at Regulus and walked out the room, waiting for him to follow his lead.

Regulus' resolve faltered for a second, James had his back turned at him, even when his wand was still up, and he was ready to just kill anyone if it meant seeing Sirius, James was trusting Regulus with no doubt, not hesitating to show him vulnerability, and that caused Regulus' anger to flare up more, who did he think he was? was he calling Regulus weak and incapable of causing any harm? The mere thought made him clench his jaw, pressing the tip of his wand more firmly against James' back, urging him to walk faster.

— James? Oh, my Merlin! — a feminine voice erupted from behind them, but James didn't turn to see who it was, clearly he recognized his own mother's voice.

— No, mum, it's okay, I'm okay, don't worry.

James didn't even sound scared or startled, instead his tone was steady and calm, showing no signs of distress, that caused Regulus to frown, even worse when his mother seemed to understand and just stayed there, hands clenching together, but trusting her son blindly, despite the position he was in. He was looking back at the woman, she didn't raise her wand, didn't hexed him right then and there, didn't even seem to be angry at James for being so weak, her expression was weird… Was she really worried? He couldn't understand why all this people was so weird.

They kept walking the few steps left to the other room, James twisted the knob and walked inside, followed by Regulus still holding his wand tightly, his knuckles turning white because of how hard he was gripping it, he could've easily snapped the wood in half if he wanted to.

— Reg-

It all happened in a second, almost as if the whole word's rotation had come to halt suddenly, time, rotation, nothing was moving but Regulus. His wand hit the floor, and in a moment his arms were wrapped around Sirius, inhaling his scent, seeking comfort despite him being the one who needed to be held together, Regulus' shoulders shook with a loud sob, clinging to his brother, just the way he used to do when they were kids, when Sirius spent two whole days locked in a room, alone, starving while Regulus was free, but getting punished over and over again because he missed his brother so much.

Regulus felt small again, with Sirius holding him gently, soothing him with a trembling hand on his black curls, he couldn't for a single word, couldn't speak or think, he'd thought Sirius had died, he thought helost his brother for good, the memories of how Walburga tortured his brother was painful, seeing Sirius' body seize uncontrollably, his screams of pain, his eyes rolling back, his mouth closing forcefully and his teeth sinking into his own tongue until it bled, he thought Sirius would die from pain, and then when they arrived Regulus heard the loud thud when Sirius' head hit the ground too hard, he thought Sirius was gone, his body too heavy, he didn't even stand on his own, he thought Sirius would not survive, but here he was, laying in a bed as big as the one they used to share years ago, he was breathing, he was alive. Regulus sobbed harder.

— It's okay, Reg, here… I got you, I got you now.

Sirius spoke gently against his hair, shifting their positions very careful, some voice warned him about his ribs, but Regulus didn't care, not when they moved until he had his ear against Sirius' chest, listening intently to the soft beating of his heart, steady, alive, it was all he needed, his crying subdued slowly until he was just breathing in and out shakily, his eyes tightly closed and his right hand gripping Sirius' arm so hard his nails left red crescent moons there.

— I'm sorry… — Regulus mumbled, ashamed of his own weakness.

— Don't be, we're okay… we're safe here, though I think I should be more worried about James' well-being around you.

Sirius tried to use a playful tone, but Regulus didn't welcome it with a chuckle or a smirk, instead he looked up, two pairs of gray story eyes meeting, fondness and fear mixing together, love shining in their eyes as bright as the panic they felt.

— I should've been smarter, she-

Sirius' shook his head, they weren't alone in that room, Remus and James were still there, both of them sitting in the couch, looking at both Black brothers, their gazes debating between awe and worry, Regulus knew Remus pretty well, they had found each other multiple times in the library and corridors, whether studying or fighting against the other like a cat and a dog would do, but now Remus didn't look as menacing as he did at school, now he looked worried, concerned even, Regulus could see the tremor on his hands very clearly even if he tried to hide it by pressing them together. Then there was James Potter, he looked almost pleased with the scene in front of him, clearly James was relieved to know both Blacks were okay, breathing and finally together in a safe place, protected by the most loving people in the world: his own parents.

— Are you okay? — Regulus spoke again, focusing on Sirius again, now sitting next to him.

— As okay as I can be… What about you?

— I think my heart is where it's supposed to be.

They both smiled at each other, the little phrase held a deeper meaning than it seemed, no one would ever understand, even if they tried, they'd been in worse situations, worse states, they could be fine now, together for as long as destiny allowed them to be, not even Walburga would tear them apart. For now.

They stayed in the comfortable silence that followed, some sort of weird normality settled between the four of them, Regulus and Sirius laying in bed, not sharing a single word, Remus went to sit in the stool next to the bed, the closeness didn't go unnoticed by Regulus, but he'd have time to ask about it later, when they weren't as traumatized. And James was laying in the sofa, throwing a ball to the ceiling, catching it back, and repeating that over and over again, annoyingly.

Regulus had never feel calm surrounded by new people, not in a room so small, lucky for him Slytherins didn't have to share rooms, they had their own space and privacy, but this… this company didn't suffocate him, not a lot at least. A soft knock interrupted the calmness, and Regulus' body stiffed, his hand reaching for his wans immediately, only soothed by Sirius squeezing his hand.

— Come in.—James spoke, sitting up straight.

The same woman that helped Sirius and then saw Regulus with his wand at James stepped inside with a soft smile.

— How are you, my darling? feeling better?

She smiled at Sirius the same way she smiled at James, and that made Regulus' stomach twist into heavy knots, but at the same time he felt happy, because his brother really knew love, he knew how it felt to have a loving motherly figure in his life.

— A bit tired, but way better now.

She nodded in acknowledgement, standing there awkwardly, looking briefly at Regulus, unsure if she should ask or not, but the boy's expression told her it'd be better to give him time and space to feel less wary around her.

— We had to alert Dumbledore about the… the incident, he will be arriving this evening, I know it's hard but he needs to know everything in order to help you… Both of you.

Regulus looked away, they were in big trouble if Dumbledore was getting involved in this, if their parents knew the lengths of the problem would be very angry, and thinking about all the punishments he'd have to go through made him nauseous, but Sirius didn't seem to be worried about it.