“very demure” became instantly unfunny the point was that the popular tiktok was from a doll satirizing those white supremacist-type ahistorical feminine etiquette channels. the subversion of the joke is imagining that sort of hegemony being used to affirm the superior daintiness of a fat trans woman of color. if you are commenting “you look so demure” on a video from a woman who is already affirmed by those standards you are just reaffirming patriarchy and if you do the same on a woman marginalized by those standards you’re kind of just making a joke about their exclusion? the joke ONLY works if you’re commenting on an overt attempt at campiness, sluttiness, etc. but most likely you’re just doing something meaningless. because what you need above all is the feel of the latest tiktok word in your mouth