IT'SA ME CANNIBAL

i REALLY like in gamdave where they just meet each other. like saying or doing something they know usually drives other people away and the other one is just ... huh yeah ok (: like parts of themselves they know other ppl find annoying and the other person is cool with it and or likes it.  gamzee having a stupidly violent thought and voicing it. dave's just yeah babe, oceans of blood, you could totally kill everyone if you want B) that's so fuckin hot ahaha. this part that gam's been conditioning himself not to voice, making himself smaller, being ok with being a joke and dave's just "i know you can do that. I know you are strong and I know you like violence and I like that you like that because violence was my first language.” with Dave he know's he's a lot and he knows ppl find him obnoxious. he plays into it because if he pushes people away they won't see that that bit is actually him. He's cool and aloof because he KNOWS he takes everything to heart. Everything is his fault because he didn't do something good enough or fast enough. He's supposed to be the perfect protag, you just don't get his joke because it's too real. Dave talks and talks and Gam just listens, Dave tries the usual tricks and Gam laughs, leans in and stays right there. Dave is annoying and gam likes that, doesn't get all his human references but Dave is funny, he's confident even if some of it's fake. Gam doesn't have the human gender norms of what a man should and shouldn't be, what a man can and can't do. He likes jokes, he likes how quick Dave is with it. If you read the Tez back and forth with Gam they are pitch flirting, they have jokes and with Dave it would feel warmer.

Dave's also the only person in the story to make Gam stronger. Gam, who's always been comfortable, always knows he was powerful. This human he’s only spoken to twice forced him to unlock his voodoo. Yeah, it was through pissing him off but he is a rage player. Gamzee is smart enough to realize this, thanks and forgives Dave when he speaks to him for the last time (first time for dave). Dave even says he remembers Gamzee, says he’s the best troll the first time they speak. Gam also being Dave’s bi awakening, Gam says he wants to make out with Dave and Dave doesn’t say no, they have the best rap off in paradox space. They have fun with each other, it’s so easy most don’t even realize how they could have meshed together. It’s what makes it so romantic, how much effect they had on one another in two conversations. It’s also what makes them so fucking tragic because they didn’t get a chance to meet for real. Meeting the guy that you spoke to months ago that said he wanted to make out with you, was also talking stupid violent about how he wants to kill you, and he likes your music, and he can rap. Meeting him and finding out he’s this tall, strong, attractive murder clown with hands the size of your head, the yaoi would have been INSANE! 

I also have this semi crazy head canon that Gam’s fav color is red, his laptop and cocoon are red, Tez in his black has red eyes, kk has red blood, Dave has red eyes, Dave’s whole god tier is red, all the red faygo in his hive, actually the only faygo’s gamzee has in his hive are red and purple. 

Another layer that makes me insane about Gamdave is how they both have such complicated relationships with their guardians. How we see them both mourning their deaths, how they both don’t really know them, feeling unwanted and just having to swallow it. Gam’s who doesn’t want to be alone and knows he can kill and Dave who can’t be killed. Rage and Time being the aspects of change, my favorite flavor is what canon could have been and all the lil things you can point at that says yeah these two freaks. The more you think about them the less crazy it seems. God even Gam being a prospit dreamer meaning he’s more active while Dave is a Derse dreamer and more still, the way they’d have been obsessed with each other and even if it’s pitch it’s still so red. I wanna eat glass over them, they could have saved each other man. Like who else could understand Dave’s abuse. Gamzee who has standing, money, his own space but is alone. Dave who has very little, tormented where he should feel safe, hungry, feels unsafe. Gamzee’s who’s never felt physically unsafe, who can solve most of his problems with violence but clearly doesn’t want to. Gamzee made friends with most of his imps, Gamzee who didn’t really fight the whole game until the end where he’s the only reason his party beat the black king. Dave who did nothing but fight and struggle on his world.  It’s in the details, if you look at Gamzee for longer than a minute you see he doesn’t want to be violent but knows how. Gamzee being what Bro wanted Dave to be. To be strong and fast, and funny, and cool. I want to throw up about this clown man, every time I think about how he ends up alone. The one thing he was scared of and no one cares and Gamzee just wanted to play a game with his friends. It even says: Someone is bugging you. This is exciting. You’re always down for shooting the wicked shit with anyone that who’ll put up with you.  Like he’s so lonely man and never had a tickle of red, like sure him and tav were meant to be pale, he was pale with kk and pitch with Tez but he didn’t get ANY red and red is Dave’s color. They make me so sick. 

I am almost as insane about Drodave tbh. Dave living with his god, his boogie man, his idol. A constant reminder of what he thinks he should be. Constantly failing to meet expectations only to finally play the game and Bro’s training didn’t really matter. Bro who’s only sorta human after being raised by lil Cal, he’s more of a thing then a person. Bro being a prince that’s totally destroyed his aspect, love is a weapon. Knows Dave loves him, he has no choice, he’s all he’s known. Knows Dave wants to impress him, and wants to be good. Praise is a weapon, it can cut down to the bone because it’s all he wants. He wants his idol to acknowledge him just a little, wants to understand him even if Bro isn’t all there because lil Cal has been with him his entire life. Dave doesn’t know he’s been raised by the cosmic devil, neither of them know what normal is but even after Bro dies Dave still mourns. He’s dealing with realizing he was abused all his life and he still breaks because how is his god suddenly gone, how can he expect to fight the thing that killed his brother who he couldn’t begin to beat in training. 

I like when there’s still something human in Bro but it’s so blurry and unclear. I like that Bro/Dirk is Adam, that Cal is the serpent and that Dave is the apple. The devil tempting Adam, partake, it’s fine, bite into the fruit, you have the knowledge. I like when Bro resist, knows that’s his brother, even if he has no compass for normal protecting Dave is his goal his purpose.  Bro who skirts around partaking, who takes loopholes and dentures till there aren’t anymore.  Lil Cal’s always right, why did he wait so long. It’s a SICKNESS.