Ctrl+Altstuck

There was a bit of a loss of interest from a few core members of our group, and because of that, we kind of had to do a reboot. Now, outside of myself, these members were the only ones with access to this blog. I, for some weird reason, am not able to access all of the features that would allow us to continue using the blog (I can only make posts; I can't accept submissions or add people or any of that stuff).

Therefore, for our reboot, we will be moving all of our content here.

There were some edits due to none of us really knowing the direction the original creators were going to go in, so the universe was changed a bit, but hopefully it will still be fun.

You’ve been on this quest bed for a while. Ever since you heard about Vriska ascending to the God Tier you have been searching. Finally you found the last clue in the mind game to finding it, but you have been here for about an hour and are understandably hesitant. You decide it is high time to take your matesprite up on his offer of company. Goodness knows you could use it…

[03:53] — generalateConstable [GC] began trolling technologiicalApiiculture [TA] at 15:53 — [03:53] GC: SOLSOL? [03:53] GC: 1M H3R3 NOW [03:54] TA: oh hey TZ [03:54] TA: you’re at your que2t bed? [03:54] GC: Y34H… [03:54] TA: want to waiit four miinute2 2o ii can get there? [03:54] TA: giive or take 13 2econd2 [03:54] GC: Y34H, 1LL W41T [03:56] TA: ii’ll be there momentariily [03:56] TA: don’t mii22 me two much <3 [03:56] GC: 1LL TRY >;] [04:01] GC: OH NO 1 C4N F33L 1T 1M M1SS1NG YOU TOO, 3R TWO, MUCH [04:05] — technologiicalApiiculture [TA]  climbs onto the quest bed — [04:06] TA: ii hope you can’t phy2iiciially feel that 2tiing of mii22iing me [04:07] TA: ii could alway2 try to help reduce the ten2iion ehehe [04:07] GC: W3LL YOUR3 H3R3 NOW [04:07] GC: 1M 4LL GOOD [04:08] GC: >8] [04:09] TA: at your 2erviice m2.pyrope [04:10] GC: YOU LOOK PR3TTY D4MN 4W3SOM31N TH4T GOD SU1T [04:12] TA: you thiink 2o? fre2hly cleaned from a 2wiill of karkat puke [04:13] GC: W3LL TH4TS LUCKY [04:14] GC: 1 DOUBT 3V3N H1S CH3RRY R3DN3SS COULD H4V3 SM3LL3D GOOD W1TH PUK3 >8P [04:22] TA: ii a22ure you iit wa2 rank [04:22] TA: but that’2 why ii’m here for a breath of fre2h aiir [04:22] TA: well and ii gue22 ii mii22ed you [04:28] GC: 1 M1SS3D YOU TOO SOL [04:28] GC: UGH LOOK 4T M3 1M ST1LL JUST ST4LL1NG [04:28] GC: 1V3 B33N H3R3 FOR L1K3 4N HOUR [04:30] TA: hey iit’2 okay to be 2cared [04:32] GC: …1S 1T WORTH 1T? [04:33] TA: ii don’t know [04:34] GC: UGH 1 M34N 1 KNOW 1TS TH3 TH1NG TO DO TO G3T 4LL TH3 L3V3LS [04:34] GC: SCR3W 1T [04:35] TA: you don’t have to iif you don’t want to TZ [04:35] GC: N4H 1 GOT TH1S [04:35] GC: 1 GOT TH1S L1K3 4N 1D1OT G3TS K1LL3D F1RST 1N 4 F1GHT

Him being here made it a little weird, but somehow oddly more doable. Strange, but with the opportunity for power so close you know now is the time to seize it.

[04:35] — generalateConstable [GC]  stabs herself with cane lightsaber — [04:35] GC: OW FUUUUUUU- [04:36] — generalateConstable [GC]  slumps — [04:36] — technologiicalApiiculture [TA]  flinces but holds her hand — [04:36] — generalateConstable [GC]  squeezes Sollux’s hand — [04:36] TA: hey TZ? [04:36] TA: ii’m flu2hed for you okay? [04:36] GC: Y-Y34H? [04:37] GC: 1 4M F-FOR YOU TOO [04:37] GC: >8] [04:37] TA: ehe [04:37] GC: S33 YOU S-SOON H-HOP3FULLY [04:38] — generalateConstable [GC]  D34D — [04:38] — generalateConstable [GC] gave up trolling technologiicalApiiculture [TA] at 16:38 —

A blood stain spreads across your chest, and your body slumps lifelessly on the hard, cold slab of rock. A strange thing begins to happen then…

The orbs on the spires surrounding the slab glow with a bright light. From the very ground of your land thin glowing strips of thought swirl into existence. On them are a million things and more, memories of yours, glimpses of your ancestor, your friends, and even those you never knew, never saw, never even smelled. The ribbons of consciousness float and swirl through the air towards the bed. As they approach they glow brighter and begin to outline you. Millions, billions of them swirl around you faster then the eye or nose could follow. Then, for just a moment, they appear to become almost a garment on you before flashing a bright white. With this flash they vanish, along with you.

======> Thousands of leagues away…

…and yet in the exact same place, a glowing quest bed contains a girl, shimmering in thought. This girl is not dead, but garbed in purple. A Derse dreamer who never saw the gods. The gown is covered in swirling thought and slowly changes. Over the battlefield checkered with destruction of two kingdoms, the Seer of Mind spread her draconic wings, her symbol flashing for all to see. The Seer has risen.

======>

And you are a little curious. You do not seem to be able to see. You had thought that ascending to God Tier cured all ailments. It’s funny though, you never considered it a hindrance. Maybe it knew that all along.

> S33R: Get trolled

It seems you are being trolled! The troll is that you have no computational device with which to be trolled. This is quite irksome to you, as you are quite sure that there are several people you need to talk to!

> S33R: Look around for a computational device

Ok smart ass we just established you still can’t see anyth- oh would you smell that there. It seems there is a hella fine pair of shades all delicious and red right there for the taking. You put them on and realize they are yours. You aren’t quite sure how they got there but someone must be looking out for you. Hey would you smell that, you’re getting trolled. Ugh, of course its Needy McNastysmooch.

> Answer Equius

[05:19] — courserTechnician [CT] began trolling generalateConstable [GC] at 17:19 — [05:19] CT: D —> Hello Terezi [05:19] CT: D —> I believe I owe you a cueball [05:19] GC: 1ND33D YOU DO [05:20] CT: D —> Where are you [05:20] GC: TH3 B4TTL3F13LD [05:21] CT: D —> Ah, so you have let to leave, perfect [05:21] CT: D —> I will be there shortly [05:21] GC: OK TH3N [05:21] — courserTechnician [CT]  Steps into a shadow, walking our of Terezis — [05:22] CT: D —> I have the cueball here [05:22] GC: WO4H WH4T TH3 H3LL?!? >9O [05:22] GC: *>8O [05:23] — courserTechnician [CT]  Holds the Cueball out to Terezi — [05:23] — generalateConstable [GC]  takes it — [05:23] GC: HOW D1D YOU DO TH4T? [05:24] CT: D —> I just walked through the shadow [05:24] GC: OH W3LL 4S LONG 4S YOUR3 B31NG SP3C1F1C [05:24] GC: >9P [05:24] GC: *>8P [05:25] CT: D —> Would you happen to know where Vriska is [05:25] CT: D —> I need to borrow her [05:25] GC: NON3 4T 4LL [05:25] GC: PLUS SH3 PR3TTY MUCH DO3SNT L1K3 YOU 4T 4LL [05:25] GC: SO TH3R3S TH4T [05:26] CT: D —> Yes, I have gathered that [05:26] CT: D —> Being killed by her was quite an obvious sign [05:26] GC: SOUNDS 4BOUT R1GHT Y34H, NOT TH4T YOUR3 4NY WORS3 FOR W34R FOR 1T [05:27] CT: D —> I had a plan for when I died, of course [05:27] GC: C4NT S4Y 1M SURPR1S3D [05:27] CT: D —> Luckily for you all [05:27] GC: D3B4T34BL3 [05:27] CT: D —> This is not my ego talking [05:28] GC: 4LSO TH3 H3LL 1S UP W1TH YOUR TH1NK P4N? [05:28] CT: D —> I am required for the session to bear fruit [05:28] CT: D —> What do you mean [05:28] GC: 1 M34N 1 SM3LL 4 FUCK1NG BL4CK HOL3 WH3R3 YOUR M1ND SHOULD B3 [05:28] GC: TH3R3S JUST…NOTH1NG [05:28] CT: D —> That would make sense [05:29] GC: 1 M34N 1 4LW4YS KN3W YOU W3R3 3MPTY H34D3D [05:29] CT: D —> I am a Knight of Void [05:29] GC: HMMM [05:30] CT: D —> And I assume that is what prevented my mind from being read by Vriska as well [05:30] GC: S331NG 4S H3R M1ND3Y B1T PROB4BLY 1SNT 4NYWH3R3 N34R GODL1K3 Y34H [05:31] GC: TH1S OUTF1T SM3LLS 4W3SOM3 BY TH3 W4Y, NOT SUR3 YOUR G4ND3RBULBS C4N P1CK TH4T UP [05:32] CT: D —> My outfit or yours [05:32] GC: M1N3 [05:32] GC: 1 M34N YOUR ROCK1NG DUSTY MUSTY OLD 4RMOR STUFF [05:33] CT: D —> Purely aesthetic, nothing can hit me anyway [05:33] GC: 4CTU4LLY C4N 1 H4V3 TH3 COD3 FOR TH4T? [05:33] CT: D —> No [05:33] GC: F1N3 1LL JUST…. [05:33] CT: D —> Actually, yes [05:33] CT: D —> You can [05:34] GC: OH GOOD >:] [05:34] CT: D —> d4rkl33r [05:34] GC: …R34LLY? [05:34] GC: TH4TS SOM3WH4T D1S4PPO1NT1NGLY OBV1OUS [05:34] CT: D —> These codes really are [05:34] GC: TRU3 3NOUGH [05:35] CT: D —> The cueball is [05:35] CT: D —> Qu3ub4l1 [05:37] CT: D —> They really are painfully obvious [05:37] GC: Y34H MY 4NC3STORS STUFF H4D THOS3 K1NDS OF COD3S TOO [05:38] GC: TH3 GL4SS3S W3R3 R3DGL4R3 [05:39] CT: D —> That does not surprise me in the slightest [05:40] GC: M3 N31TH3R >:/ [05:40] GC: 4NYW4Y 1 SHOULD B3 OFF NOW [05:40] CT: D —> As should I [05:40] GC: TH3R3 4R3 TH1NGS 1 ST1LL N33D TO T4K3 C4R3 OF [05:40] CT: D —> I have a universe to create [05:41] GC: L8R TH3N [05:42] — generalateConstable [GC] gave up trolling courserTechnician [CT] at 17:42 —

 Well that was… odd. Yes you will stick with odd. Anyway there is something VERY important to do now… accessochemize. Alchemocessoryitize. Some clever jumble of words where you alchemize some sweet gear. You mean this God Tier stuff is fine and all, but it could use a nice red tinge from your Neophyte Redglare cosplay, and maybe some protection from Equius’s ancestor’s armor. Hell maybe a little Foresight from the Cueball. The possibilities are endless!

> Exit battlefield via Badass Dragon God Wings.

[03:08] -- courserTechnician [CT] began pestering tyrannicalConnoisseur [TC] at 03:08 --

[03:09] CT: D --> Gamzee, I do not think our morailiegance is working out

[03:09] TC: yeah, me either to tell the truth, brother.

[03:09] TC: GOOD TO SEE YOU AREN'T A SPRITE FREAK ANYMORE THOUGH, MOTHERFUCKER.

[03:10] CT: D --> Thank you, I have ascended to God Tier

[03:10] CT: D --> I made a deal with Veridi, and he relinquished control

[03:10] TC: i've been all up and about discovering the miracles in myself.

[03:11] TC: THE WICKED CONSORTS HAVE LEAD ME ALONG THE PATH TO CLEAR THE MOTHERFUCKING SMOG FROM MY MIND.

[03:11] TC: as well as from my land.

[03:11] TC: HONK.

[03:11] CT: D --> Oh, yes, the land quests

[03:11] CT: D --> I have been to busy to attempt mine

[03:11] CT: D --> I believe I have failed it

[03:12] TC: i believe i will have to ascend before my quest can be completed.

[03:13] CT: D --> The Prince of Rage, destroying rage and destroying with Rage

[03:13] CT: D --> Be caref001, you may end up breaking your mirrors instead of clearing them

[03:13] TC: APPARENTLY, AS A PRINCE OF RAGE, BY CLEARING MY OWN MIND OF THE GREAT MOTHERFUCKING RAGE WITHIN ME.

[03:14] TC: i will be able to settle the smoke here, an obvious solution which cannot come to me with my present mentality.

[03:15] CT: D --> Have you tried asking your sprite, they hold vast amounts of secrets

[03:15] TC: YES.

[03:15] TC: when i spoke of my consorts earlier, i meant my sprite as well.

[03:15] TC: MY SECOND PROTOTYPE WAS ONE OF THE GOAT BRETHREN.

[03:15] TC: honk.

[03:16] CT: D --> I believe the majority, if not all, of my consorts are dead

[03:16] TC: I MADE SURE TO KEEP THEM SAFE WITHIN MY HIVE.

[03:16] TC: they were so miserable in their smoked up villages, i couldn't stand for it.

[03:17] CT: D --> Mine were slaughtering each other

[03:17] CT: D --> I left them to it

[03:17] TC: PLACATING THEM MAY HAVE MOTHERFUCKING HELPED WITH YOUR QUEST, BROTHER.

[03:18] CT: D --> Possibly, but I had more important things to do

[03:18] CT: D --> Like killing frogs

[03:18] TC: but the past is the past, and this cave of miracles is surely where my quest cocoon is.

[03:19] CT: D --> Ah, before you enter

[03:19] CT: D --> Do you know where Serket is

[03:19] CT: D --> I need to talk to her about something

[03:19] TC: I DO.

[03:20] TC: but i'm pretty sure she doesn't want to talk to you, equius.

[03:20] CT: D --> I could care less what she wants

[03:20] CT: D --> I need her dice

[03:20] CT: D --> And her light skills

[03:20] TC: AND THAT IS WHERE YOU AND I MOTHERFUCKING DIFFER, KICK BACK AND PAY WITNESS TO THESE MIRACULOUS AFFAIRS.

[03:21] TC: what she wants, she gets.

[03:21] TC: HONK.

[03:21] CT: D --> Unfortunately, what she wants is not important

[03:22] CT: D --> What any of us want is not important

[03:22] TC: i'm afraid you're wrong, my blue blooded brother.

[03:22] TC: WHAT I WANT AND WHAT MY MATESPRIT WANTS ARE OF THE HIGHEST VALUE.

[03:23] TC: the mirthful messiahs have given my thinkpan the turnaround on all these thoughts.

[03:23] TC: AND THEY'VE MADE ME REALIZE, THAT WHAT YOU'VE WANTED HAS BEEN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE MOTHERFUCKING BARREL IN IMPORTANCE.

[03:24] CT: D --> I do not, never have, and never will care about what the Mirthf001 Messiahs have told you

[03:24] CT: D --> I am going to go and create a universe

[03:24] CT: D --> Goodbye, Makara

[03:24] -- courserTechnician [CT] ceased pestering tyrannicalConnoisseur [TC] at 03:24 --

Gamzee growled, stepping through the cave he had found before his matesprit had helped him to get some shut eye. He'd learned a lot on Prospit, but even more after returning to his land. Ampora had turned out impossible to contact for whatever reason, but his consort and sprite had told him the secrets needed to complete his land's quest. Their words were probably not much more than gibberish to the others, but a follower of the mirthful ones knew the tongue of miracles well. As he descended through the cavern, Gamzee's scowl turned into a grimace at what he bore witness to. A winding hall of mirrors awaited him in this cave, each bearing a distorted image of the troll. Vriska had told him he should look into them, and now there was no avoiding it. Onward he went about the reflective maze, his chest pounding in anticipation at what would occur here. A startled, "HONK," escaped him as one of the mirrors spoke. "YOU'LL NEVER MOTHERFUCKING KEEP THEM SAFE." His eyes widened, and the reflection's did as well before its mouth twisted into a cruel smile. "YOU'RE TOO DANGEROUS, MOTHERFUCKER, YOU'LL JUST END UP KILLING THEM ALL." He continued to walk, trying to ignore the words, but another of the mirrors chimed in, "YOU'LL BE ALONE THEN, WON'T YOU?" "Shut up..." Gamzee glared at his own, twisted reflection, breaking into a run through the winding halls. Laughter rang out around him, filling his head and echoing into a dreadful symphony of honks. "YOU CAN'T SHUT ME UP, MOTHERFUCKER, I'M YOU!" Gamzee stopped, backing up against the wall. The reflection behind him reached through the mirror and placed its hand on his shoulder, continuing, "All you'll ever have is yourself, brother." "SHUT UP!" The highblood jerked from the hand and twisted himself around. His eyes burned red with rage. He wasn't angry at this game's way of fucking with his thinkpan, nor at Equius' words. He was fed up with himself. "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MOTHERFUCKING DOUBT YOURSELF, MOTHERFUCKER?!" He stepped closer to the mirror, his fists shaking. The reflection seemed fearful now, a great contrast to its former look of being in control. Gamzee jerked a leg back and smiled, "Not anymore though." As he kicked through the mirror, the glass flying past him and falling to the ground, Gamzee realized there was no wall behind it. He chuckled and stepped into the newly discovered passageway, and a plethora of lights came to life. The Prince of Rage had found his shrine, hidden away long ago according to the goat creatures which called this place their home. And in the center was his quest cocoon. Gamzee ran up to the stone bed excitedly, examining it thoroughly. He stopped quite quickly, however, his lips curling up into that sinister smile the mirrors had once held. He tapped a button on the side of a small earpiece, and a holographic screen came to life in front of him. "Message Blue."

[03:32] -- tyrannicalConnoisseur [TC] began pestering courserTechnician [CT] at 03:32 --

[03:33] TC: I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU MOTHERFUCKING BOW TO YOUR PRINCE, BLUEBLOOD.

[04:44:30] — technologiicalApiiculture [TA] began trolling ceasersAbsolution [CA] at 04:44 —

[04:44:44] CA: oh boy

[04:44:44] TA: hey ED

[04:44:52] CA: hey sol

[04:44:58] TA: ii need to a2k you 2omethiing

[04:45:01] CA: here to cursh my feelings again

[04:45:11] TA: wa2 that a thiing ii diid before?

[04:45:13] CA: oh yeah go ahead i dont mind

[04:45:20] CA: wwhat thin

[04:45:28] TA: cru2hiing your feeliing2?

[04:46:06] CA: you told me vvris lovved me

[04:46:09] CA: and she didnt

[04:47:55] TA: omg eriidan you DIIDN’T

[04:48:04] TA: come on that wa2 2o obviiou2ly a joke ED!

[04:48:27] CA: …

[04:48:31] CA: dude fuck you

[04:48:42] TA: ampora ii don’t even know what to thiink

[04:49:15] TA: okay ii have to a2k you a thiing

[04:49:17] CA: i already havve black relationship wwith gam so you dont havve many options

[04:49:30] CA: unless of course you feel responsible and wwould like to be my ashen

[04:49:35] CA: in that case id forgivve you

[04:49:38] TA: waiit you’re black for gamzee?

[04:49:41] CA: and maybe wwe can build from there

[04:49:55] CA: he is for me so i decided to accept it

[04:50:01] CA: eq told me

[04:50:38] TA: he’2 black for you? are you 2ure? iit’2 not the vrii2ka thiing all over agaiin?

[04:52:44] CA: no this time i havve sources

[04:52:52] TA: well okay

[04:52:56] TA: ii tru2t your 2ource2

[04:53:10] CA: anywway

[04:53:14] CA: wwhat do you wwant

[04:53:24] CA: i think somethin is goin on at the distance

[04:53:29] CA: like theres some wweird guy

[04:53:32] CA: anywway

[04:53:41] TA: uh you miight have to explaiin that

[04:53:52] CA: i cant really

[04:53:54] TA: but do you know how to help 2omeone haviing a 2troke?

[04:54:28] CA: wwhats a stroke

[04:55:10] TA: iit’2 a mediical condiitiion

[04:55:36] CA: ok

[04:55:41] CA: i havve no idea

[04:56:05] TA: ii 2ee now how 2tupiid iit wa2 to a2k you

[04:56:16] TA: mr. priiviillaged a22fiin2

[04:56:24] CA: howw rude

[04:57:52] TA: don’t giive me that

[04:58:07] TA: you probably never even had to dre22 your own papercut2

[04:58:40] CA: this is uncalled for

[04:58:43] CA: i cant help you

[04:58:52] CA: fef probably knowws

[04:59:02] CA: i knoww that because fef and i are close

[04:59:05] CA: did i evver mention that

[04:59:07] TA: EUGH

[04:59:40] TA: that wa2 the expre22iion of exactly how uncarriing ii am about that

[05:00:01] TA: bro ii’m glad your palerom ii2 goiing hard and comfy

[05:00:24] TA: and ii’m glad you’re black relatiion2hiip ii2 happeniing fiine and dandy

[05:01:03] TA: there ii2 NO way iin any conciievable fuck ii am goiing to a2k that guttergiill2 for help wiith anythiing

[05:01:27] TA: 2he can cook over a low fiire wiith 2everal 2ea2oniing2 for all ii care

[05:01:54] CA: she can do that yes

[05:02:06] CA: eh you knoww wwhat sol

[05:02:15] CA: i wwont evven bother defendin her after wwhat happened

[05:02:23] CA: guess ill just be lonely forevver

[05:02:29] CA: oh wwell if youll excuse me

[03:29:35] — joylessNeonaticide [JN] began trolling technologiicalApiiculture [TA] at 03:29 —

[03:29:40] JN: whats up faggot

[03:29:47] TA: uh

[03:29:54] JN: yeah

[03:30:12] TA: what ii2 a faggot and who are you

[03:30:25] JN: it doesnt matter

[03:30:27] JN: look kid

[03:30:34] JN: i dont know who you grey fuckers are

[03:30:51] TA: alriight that put2 u2 iin the 2ame po2iitiion

[03:30:58] JN: but im getting sick and tired of having you run around and do nothing when clearly there are things you should be doing in derse

[03:31:15] TA: oh

[03:31:16] TA: der2e

[03:31:23] TA: but ii have been doiing 2hiit on der2e

[03:31:33] JN: do more important shit

[03:31:38] JN: people are dead you know

[03:31:41] JN: you might die

[03:31:52] TA: not really worriied but okay

[03:31:54] TA: who’2 dyiing and how do ii help

[03:31:56] JN: whatever clearly youre retarted

[03:32:01] JN: this has been a waste of my time

[03:32:06] TA: waiit waiit

[03:32:09] TA: ii have a que2tiion for you

[03:32:12] JN: fucking what

[03:32:15] TA: do you know how to treat a 2troke?

[03:32:22] JN: yes

[03:32:33] TA: can you enliighten me on how to treat one

[03:32:47] JN: whats in it for me

[03:33:08] TA: ii’ll briing the ver2iion of my2elf from pro2piit wiith whatever you want from the golden ciity

[03:33:14] TA: any detaiil2 or triinket2

[03:34:09] JN: did i stutter when i typed whats in it for me

[03:34:15] JN: you think this is a charity

[03:34:18] JN: the red cross

[03:34:22] JN: whatever the fuck that is

[03:34:31] JN: why are the players morons

[03:34:34] TA: diid ii not fuckiing ju2t offer you whatever the fuck you want from pro2piit?

[03:34:34] JN: why

[03:34:37] JN: just why

[03:34:43] TA: look fucker what do you want?

[03:34:52] JN: i want the white queens ring

[03:35:04] TA: the black queen or the whiite queen?

[03:35:18] JN: …

[03:35:20] TA: 2hiit nevermiind

[03:35:22] JN: i like

[03:35:24] JN: just said

[03:35:27] TA: 2orry ii’m not readiing thii2 properly

[03:35:32] JN: obviously

[03:35:36] TA: yeah okay

[03:35:45] TA: you want the whiite queen’2 riing and 2he’2 on pro2piit

[03:35:55] TA: 2o how iin the fuck do you get off telliing me that ii wa2n’t offeriing you fuck all

[03:36:04] TA: ii don’t know you and frankly ii really don’t liike you

[03:36:17] TA: what’2 2o 2peciial about thii2 damn ciirclet anyway?

[03:36:17] JN: i dont give a shit frankly

[03:36:21] JN: if you want help

[03:36:26] JN: you bring me the ring

[03:36:33] TA: riight

[03:36:36] JN: and nothing im willing to waste my time telling you about

[03:36:45] TA: well clearly iit’2 iimportant 2o ii’ll a22ume 2uch

[03:36:47] JN: now i have to go because of some unforseen bullshit paper

[03:36:52] JN: yeah you do that

[03:36:56] JN: wow you are so smart

[03:37:05] JN: go become a doctor after this

[03:37:07] JN: faggot

[05:37:53] — constitutionsGrief [CG] began trolling technologiicalApiiculture [TA] at 05:37 —

[05:37:54] CG: ARE YOU KIDDING ME, SOLLUX? DID YOU JUST FORGET TO MENTION THIS PART OF THE ENTIRE PROCESS OF ASCENDING TO GOD TIER? YOU COULDN’T HAVE WARNED ME THAT IT WOULD RESULT IN WHAT IS PERHAPS THE MOST MASSIVE HUMILIATION OF MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE IN ANY ITINERATION OF PARADOX SPACE? DID IT SERIOUSLY JUST SLIP YOUR MIND?

[05:40:11] CG: HOW HARD WOULD IT BE TO SAY, “OH KARKAT, BY THE WAY, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A SPARE SET OF PANTS IN YOUR SYLLADEX BECAUSE THE PROCESS OF GOD TIERING ENSURES THAT YOU ARE GOING TO NEED THEM.”? OR, IF YOU DIDN’T FEEL LIKE TYPING THAT MUCH, YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST MENTIONED THAT THE PROCESS WOULD LEAVE ME WITHOUT A PAIR OF RESPECTABLE PANTS SO THAT I COULD USE MY OWN THINK PAN TO CONSIDER PACKING A PAIR MYSELF.

[05:47:53] CG: HONESTLY, I TRUSTED YOU AND TOLD YOU WHAT I WAS DOING, AND YOU JUST FORGOT TO MENTION SOMETHING THAT WOULD AFFECT WHETHER OR NOT I’D BE WILLING TO DO THIS WITHOUT MAKING SURE THAT I AT LEAST HAD A WAY OF GETTING MY ASYMMETRICAL GRASPING MECHANISMS ON A SET OF PANTS AND OF ACTUALLY CHANGING INTO THEM ONCE I LOST THE ONES I HAD.

[06:03:44] TA: karkat what the fuck are you talkiing about?

[06:04:07] TA: at no poiint iin a2cendiing to god teiir wa2 pant2 ever an ii22ue

[06:04:41] TA: ii mean yeah you get 2ome diifferent clothe2 but that’2-

[06:04:53] TA: omg plea2e tell me your new god tiier uniiform doe2n’t have pant222

[06:05:01] TA: ii’mlaughiing2ohardohmygod

[06:06:53] CG: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING SOME SICK AND SADISTIC PLEASURE AT MY NEWFOUND HUMILIATION THAT APPARENTLY NOBODY ELSE HAS TO DEAL WITH WHETHER THEY ASCEND OR NOT. THANK YOU FOR THINKING THAT THE FACT THAT PARADOX SPACE CLEARLY ABHORS ME MORE THAN IT WOULD THE DISEASES YOU CAN FIND IN ANY AMOUNT OF SHIT IS FUNNY.

[06:10:27] TA: oh my god karkat ii’m goiing to pee everywhere

[06:11:16] TA: alriight okay 2o what you’re telliing me ii2 that you’re currently on checkered fiield, pant2le22

[06:13:47] CG: YES, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I’M TELLING YOU. I FIGURED YOU WOULD AT LEAST HAVE ENOUGH ABILITY IN YOUR THINK PAN TO FIGURE THAT MUCH OUT WHEN I ALL BUT CONFIRMED THAT THE UNIFORM INVOLVED A LACK OF PANTS.

[06:14:49] CG: I’M SITTING HERE WEARING NOTHING ON THE LOWER HALF OF MY BODY BUT WHAT APPEAR TO BE A MAROON PAIR OF FEMALE UNDERGARMENTS THAT DON’T COVER ANYTHING BUT THE CROTCH AND ASS AREA. WHAT KIND OF SICK PERVERTED GAME IS THIS?

[06:20:27] TA: 2o why are you ju2t 2iittiing there? why not fly back to your planet long enough to grab a paiir of pant2?

[06:22:26] CG: IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED, SOLLUX, NOT ALL OF US WERE GIFTED WITH A MUTATION THAT WOULD GIVE US PSIONIC POWERS THAT WOULD ALLOW US TO FLY, AT BIRTH. I FIGURED YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT, BUT CLEARLY YOU ARE SO SELF-CENTRED AND FOCUSED ON THE FACT THAT MY PROBLEM IS SO *AMUSING* TO YOU THAT YOU FORGOT ALL ABOUT THAT FACT.

[06:26:47] TA: omg KK 2hut up no

[06:26:55] TA: when you a2cend you get wiing2

[06:27:01] TA: diidn’t you get wiing2?

[06:28:46] CG: OH, YOU MEAN THE THINGS THAT ARE TOO SMALL TO BE ANYTHING EXCEPT A NUISANCE WHEN I GET HIT IN THE BACK BECAUSE THEY HAVE NERVES AND CAN MOVE BUT CANNOT IN ANY UNIVERSE DO ANYTHING TO CAUSE FLIGHT WITH THAT MOVEMENT?

[06:30:44] TA: wow you ju2t got the wor2t god teiir iin paradox 2pace huh?

[06:30:54] CG: YES, IF THOSE EVEN COUNT, I DO HAVE WINGS, THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A HELP, SOLLUX. I GUESS APPARENTLY I DON’T DESERVE THE GIFT OF FLIGHT THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AWARDED TO ANYBODY BUT ME, BUT THEN AGAIN, HAVING SPOKEN TO MYSELF, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY I WOULDN’T DESERVE IT.

[06:31:45] TA: 2o you’re 2tranded on 2kaiia?

[06:31:49] TA: do you want a hand?

[06:33:02] CG: NO, I THINK I WANT TO SPEND THE NEXT HOWEVER LONG WALLOWING IN MY OWN MISERY BECAUSE I WAS TOO MUCH OF AN IDIOT TO REALIZE THAT THIS WHOLE THING WOULD END UP BEING ONE OF THE WORST IDEAS I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE PATHETIC EXISTENCE.

[06:34:31] TA: okay okay ii’m comiing

[06:34:45] TA: ii a22ume you want me to briing pant2?

[06:35:18] CG: DO I EVEN NEED TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION?

[06:36:00] TA: okay hold on let me alchamiize a paiir that miight actually fiit you

[06:36:34] CG: OBVIOUSLY YOU SHOULDN’T BECAUSE MAYBE IF I HOLD IT LONG ENOUGH, I’LL GROW TO ENJOY CURLING UP SO THAT MY FACE IS HIDDEN AND I AM CONCEALING MY OWN PURE EMBARRASSMENT.

[06:40:00] TA: ii’m on my way karkat, newly alchemiized pant2 iin hand

[06:40:03] TA: look at me go

[06:40:05] TA: ii’m goiing

[06:40:11] TA: oh man out my door,

[06:40:14] TA: iinto the aiir

[06:40:15] TA: goiing

[06:40:18] TA: goiing!

[06:40:20] TA: PACCHOOO

[06:42:14] CG: I’M GLAD YOU’RE MANAGING TO FIND SOME KIND OF ENTHUSIASM IN THIS.

[06:42:26] TA: almo2t there KK

[06:43:58] CG: YOU’D BETTER NOT SAY A SINGLE WORD ABOUT THIS TO ANYBODY IF YOU VALUE YOUR OWN BONE BULGE. I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF CASTRATING NEARLY GROWN TROLLS, SO SOME IDIOT WHO RELIES FULLY ON HIS PSIONIC POWERS SHOULD BE EASY.

[06:47:17] TA: okay well iif you ca2trate me, no pant2 2o ii thiink you 2hould con2iider your 2iickle placement2

[06:47:27] TA: al2o

[06:47:36] TA: ii2 that coweriing mound of maroon you?

[06:49:59] CG: WELL, THERE IS ONE WAY TO FIND OUT, ISN’T THERE. IF THE COWERING MOUND OF MAROON IS EXPANDING ONE OF HIS ARMS AND PROCEEDING TO SHOW OFF HIS MIDDLE SEPARATED GRASPING DIGIT, THEN YES, IT IS ME.

[06:51:06] TA: ehehe 2o good to 2ee you two

[06:51:10] TA: here have your pant2 you lo2er

[06:51:23] — technologiicalApiiculture [TA] drops pants on his head —

[06:56:28] — constitutionsGrief [CG] pulls the pants on over the ridiculous Page bottoms

[06:58:16] TA: 2o tho2e are 2triictly actiing a2 under garment2 

[06:58:22] TA: that’2 2ort of hiilariiou2 

[06:59:57] CG: DO YOU WANT TO END UP MISSING YOUR BONE BULGE? I FIGURED THE GREAT SOLLUX CAPTOR WOULD ENJOY HAVING IT AT LEAST FOR THE NEXT SWEEP, BUT THEN AGAIN, MAYBE I WAS WRONG ABOUT HIM.

[07:00:37] TA: maybe you were

[07:00:40] TA: and a2 for your wiing2

[07:00:46] TA: tho2e are pretty hiilariiou2 KK

[07:03:18] CG: YES, PROCEED TO CONTINUE MAKING FUN OF MY TORMENT AS I STAND HERE AND CONTINUE TO WALLOW IN THE DEEPEST PITS OF MY OWN MISERY WHILE ATTEMPTING TO MENTALLY RECOVER FROM WHAT WAS PERHAPS THE MOST PHYSICALLY PAINFUL INCIDENT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

[07:10:57] TA: ii thought 2erket wa2 goiing to kiill you? diid that whole ‘not feeliing anythiing’ not happen?

[07:11:10] TA: or

[07:11:18] TA: diid 2he fuck iit up and make you 2uffer

[07:11:25] TA: becau2e ii 2tiill owe her a good beat down

[07:13:21] CG: I DON’T KNOW WHO IT WAS THAT KILLED ME, BUT CONSIDERING WHOEVER IT WAS DID NOT SOUND LIKE VRISKA SERKET. APPARENTLY SHE SENT SOMEBODY ELSE TO DO IT AND SHE DIDN’T EVEN THINK TO PUT ME UNDER HER CONTROL WHILE THE WHOLE THING WAS HAPPENING, EVEN THOUGH THAT WAS A PART OF OUR ORIGINAL DEAL.

[07:15:24] TA: 2he ju2t fuckiing 2ent 2omeone el2e to do iit?

[07:15:40] TA: rggh. thii2 ii2 why ii offered my2elf iin her place

[07:16:15] TA: beca2ue 2he doe2n’t even have the decency to follow through wiith her oriigiinal plan2

[07:16:19] TA: the fuckiing biitch.

[07:20:20] CG: I DOUBT YOU COULD HAVE MADE IT MUCH LESS PAINFUL THAN IT WAS, SOLLUX. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAVE GONE DIFFERENTLY IF YOU DID IT? ALL I CAN THINK OF IS ONLY BEING STABBED *ONCE*.

[07:26:22] TA: karkat my p2iioniic2 are e2entiially telekenetiic electriiciity

[07:26:54] TA: ii could have cut the electron2 to your nerve2 and 2tabbed you once, yeah, but iit would have been numbed completley

[07:28:37] CG: AND YOU COULDN’T HAVE THOUGHT OF TELLING ME THAT WHILE I WAS MENTIONING THAT PRETTY MUCH THE ONLY REASON WHY I WAS LETTING VRISKA DO IT WAS BECAUSE I FIGURED THAT IT WOULD BE PAINLESS.

[07:29:33] TA: well you 2aiid you wanted to do iit wiith 2omeone you weren’t clo2e wiith 2o you wouldn’t pu22y out

[07:29:57] TA: thii2 ii2 a2 much your fault a2 iit ii2 miine

[07:34:14] CG: I FIGURED SHE WAS GOING TO *CONTROL* ME SO THAT I WOULD BE PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF SAYING THAT NO, I DIDN’T WANT TO DO THIS AFTER ALL JUST BECAUSE I WAS PATHETIC AND A COMPLETE COWARD. I DIDN’T THINK SHE’D HAVE SOMEBODY SNEAK UP ON ME AND STAB ME REPEATEDLY WITHOUT A SINGLE WARNING WITHOUT EVEN HAVING THE COMMON COURTESY TO MAKE SURE I WOULDN’T FEEL IT.

[07:36:06] TA: well clearly 2omeone need2 to 2how her what iit feel2 liike to be back-2tabbed

[07:40:48] CG: YOU’RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING SO OBSCENELY STUPID THAT I MIGHT NEED TO HACK UP WHATEVER OF THAT WEAPON MIGHT BE LEFT IN MY SYSTEM FROM DOING THIS IN SECOND-HAND EMBARRASSMENT ABOUT THE FACT THAT SOMEBODY WHO I MIGHT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR IS ACTING COMPLETELY DERANGED?

[07:42:36] TA: no ii’m not goiing to do 2omethiing ob2cenely 2tupiid karkat

[07:44:50] CG: GOOD. I’M GLAD WE MANAGED TO COME TO AN UNDERSTANDING THAT MAKES SENSE IN THIS CONTEXT. MAY I ASK WHAT YOU ACTUALLY PLAN ON DOING?

[07:45:49] TA: ii’m goiing to kiick her a22 from here to the horror terror2

[07:46:57] TA: 2he need2 to learn that the world doe2n’t revolve around her and 2he can’t ju2t fuckiing go around kiilliing people and cau2iing 2hiit

[07:47:09] TA: 2he conviinced you to go god tiier becau2e 2he thought you’d hold our 2e22iion back

[07:47:13] TA: but 2he KIILLED equiiu2

[07:47:20] TA: and we fuckiing need hiim to complete our 2e22iion

[07:47:30] TA: how the fuck doe2 that make 2en2e?

[07:49:59] CG: OH, SO SHE DECIDED SHE WOULD HELP HIM ASCEND, AND POSSIBLY EVEN MAKE THE WHOLE THING PAINLESS FOR HIM, BUT SHE COULDN’T BE BOTHERED TO DO IT TO ME BECAUSE SHE WANTED ME TO “DIE WITH DIGNITY” AND “PROVE THAT I WAS WORTH SOMETHING”?

[07:50:56] TA: uh no karkat

[07:51:03] TA: 2he kiilled hiim dead out of 2piite

[07:51:09] TA: no where near hii2 que2t bed

[07:51:11] TA: CT ii2 dead

[07:53:26] CG: OKAY, I THINK THE JOKE HOUR IS OVER WITH, SOLLUX. YOU CAN FEEL FREE TO TELL ME THAT NO, EQUIUS IS NOT DEAD AND WE AREN’T DOOMED AND EVERYTHING IS FINE AND YOU WERE JUST JOKING NOW.

[07:53:58] TA: karkat ii’m fuckiing 2eriiou2

[07:54:21] TA: look

[07:55:11] — technologiicalApiiculture [TA] pulls up TA and CT Log — Latest — —

[07:55:33] TA: he’2 dead karkat actually 2o

[07:57:53] CG: AND YOU’RE SAYING THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO END UP DYING WITHOUT HIM AND THAT SINCE HE’S DEAD, HE OBVIOUSLY ISN’T COMING BACK SINCE HE DIDN’T DIE ON HIS QUEST BED LIKE A SENSIBLE BEING.

[07:58:57] TA: well that’2 the iidea

[07:59:02] TA: ii thiink he 2aiid he ha2 a plan though

[07:59:10] TA: 2o ii’m goiing to tru2t hiim enough for thii2 but

[07:59:33] TA: 2he kiilled hiim, cold blood, no iintentiion of hiim ever comiing back

[08:02:32] CG: AND SO YOU’RE GOING TO END UP BEATING THE EVERSTENCHING SHIT OUT OF HER AND THEN TAKING THAT SHIT AND TRYING TO FIND A PROPER LOCATION TO DISCARD IT BEFORE IT MANAGES TO LEAVE A DISGUSTING SMELL THAT WILL NOBODY WOULD EVER HAVE A HOPE OF GETTING RID OF EVEN SWEEPS LATER?

[08:04:33] CG: I HOPE YOU AT LEAST HAVE THE SENSE TO GET YOUR TWIG INSECT-CONSTRUCTED ASS OUT OF THERE IF SOMETHING HAPPENS AND SHE ENDS UP DOING SOMETHING THAT MIGHT GET YOU KILLED.

[08:11:10] TA: well liike ii 2aiid, unle22 ii diie heroiicly or ju2tly ii don’t thiink iit’2 a biig deal KK

[08:11:25] TA: but ii promii2e you ii’ll get out of there iif ii can’t take iit

[08:16:15] CG: IF YOU ACTUALLY DO MANAGE TO GET YOURSELF KILLED HEROICALLY, I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT THERE WILL BE NOTHING LEFT OF YOUR CORPSE SIMPLY BECAUSE OF HOW MANGLED IT WILL BECOME.

[08:17:14] CG: AND BEFORE YOU MAKE SOME SNARKY HALF-ASSED COMMENT ABOUT THE FACT THAT I FORGOT SOMETHING, I”M NOT EVEN GOING TO WORRY ABOUT THE JUST HALF OF THOSE CONDITIONS.

[08:21:11] TA: eheh thank2 KK ii appreciiate the 2upport and tru2t you have iin my iintentiion2

[08:21:22] TA: ii promii2e ii won’t let you down

[08:31:29] CG: IS THERE ANY REASON WHY I SHOULDN’T BE TRUSTING YOUR INTENTIONS AT THIS POINT THAT I WOULD NOT BE AWARE OF, CAPTOR? BECAUSE I DON’T NEED TO BE TRUSTING YOUR INTENTIONS IF THEY’RE ACTUALLY NOT AS GOOD AS I WOULD THINK THEY ARE.

[08:33:19] TA: karkat ii’m telliing you completely and hone2tly, you can tru2t my iintentiion2 

[08:33:36] TA: ii’m only tryiing to get u2 through thii2 game before anythiing terriible happen2 okay?

[08:33:53] TA: you would thiink ii’ve 2een enough of my friiend2 diie a2 iit ii2

[08:34:01] TA: ii really don’t want anymore

[08:38:55] CG: THAT MAKES SENSE. I’D PREFER IT IF I DIDN’T SEE ANY OF OUR FRIENDS DIE AT ALL, SO IT SEEMS LIKE WE MIGHT HAVE A SEMI-MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING THAT OUR MOTIVATIONS AREN’T GOING TO BE WHAT MAKE US DO SOMETHING THAT COULD GET SOMEBODY ELSE KILLED.

[08:49:18] TA: that 2eem2 to be a re2onable under2tandiing ehehe

[08:49:34] TA: 2o how about we get off of 2kaiia?

[08:56:08] CG: AND FINALLY YOU BRING UP AN IDEA THAT ISN’T ONE OF THE MOST PSYCHOTIC ACTIONS I HAVE EVER HEARD OF SIMPLY BECAUSE OF HOW DANGEROUS OR DERANGED OR JUST COMPLETELY STUPID THEY MIGHT BE.

[08:58:07] TA: alriight well, ii’m goiing to have to piick you up 2o

[09:02:45] CG: GREAT. I’M SO *GLAD* SOME THINGS HAVEN’T CHANGED FROM BEFORE WE STARTED PLAYING THIS GAME THAT WAS CLEARLY NOT MEANT TO BE PLAYED BY ANY SANE GROUPS OF TROLLS, BUT INSTEAD WAS MEANT TO BE PLAYED BY A GROUP OF PEOPLE WITHOUT ANY SENSE INSIDE OR OUTSIDE OF THEIR THINK PANS.

[09:04:16] TA: omg karkat ii can piick you up wiith both arm2 or you can cliimb onto my back ii don’t need the2e wiing2 to fly

[09:04:59] TA: ii’m giiviing you the optiion between beiing whii2ked away liike the pretty priince22 your god teiir want2 you to be or to get on my back iin the mo2t ciiviiliized manner we can mu2ter for thii2 exchange

[09:05:17] TA: you have ten 2econd2 and then iit’2 pretty priince22 for you

[09:07:16] CG: I DOUBT I WAS MEANT TO BE A “PRETTY PRINCESS”, CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT MY LUSUS CALLED ME A “BOND SERVANT” WHEN I ASKED HIM ABOUT MY TITLE. I’M SORRY SOLLUX CAPTOR, BUT OT ME IT SOUNDS LIKE THIS GAME WANTS ME TO BE ON THE OPPOSITE END OF THE CASTE SYSTEM FROM “PRETTY PRINCESSES”.

[09:09:21] TA: aw KK you’ll alway2 be a pretty priince22 to thii2 heiir ehehehe

[09:09:28] — technologiicalApiiculture [TA] puts a hand on his shoulder —

[09:09:31] TA: now are we goiing or not

[09:11:42] CG: FINE. FEEL FREE TO CARRY ME OFF ALONG WITH WHATEVER IS EVEN LEFT OF MY DIGNITY AT THIS POINT.

[09:17:12] TA: ehehe a2 you wii2h priince22 vanta2

[09:22:13] CG: IF YOU DROP ME, I WILL BE FLIPPING EVERY SINGLE SHIT I HAVE EVER PRODUCED SINCE MY FIRST WRIGGLING DAY AND YOU WILL NOT EVEN BE ABLE TO DISCERN WHERE IT MANAGED TO GO BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH IT WAS FLIPPED.

[09:26:10] — technologiicalApiiculture [TA] picks Karkat up and heads back to LoBaC —

[09:26:15] TA: ii got you karkat don’t worry

[09:29:54] CG: I WAS MORE WORRIED ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN AFTERWARDS TO YOU WOULD COUNT AS JUST BECAUSE YOU WOULD DESERVE HAVING YOUR HORNS HANDED TO YOU ON A SILVER EATING PLATEAU WITH A SIDE OF GIANT LEGUME-SHAPED PURPLE VEGETABLES COATED IN MOLDY MUSCLEBEAST MILK.

[09:33:19] TA: that actually 2ound2 great, do you know any good reciipiie2? ii miight ju2t make you a meal ehehe

[09:37:35] CG: YOU’D PROBABLY GIVE THE WHOLE THING AN ELECTRIC BURN OUT OF FRUSTRATION BEFORE I COULD EVEN SEE IT, ASSUMING THAT IS ALL YOU WOULD MANAGE TO BURN AND NOT THE ENTIRETY OF WHATEVER HIVE YOU WERE WORKING IN.

[09:38:56] TA: hey ii’m a culiinary geniiu2 KK

[09:39:02] TA: giiviing the riight reciipe of cour2e

[09:39:04] TA: ehehe

[09:42:07] CG: I WOULD HAVE ASSUMED THAT YOU WOULD ONLY BE A CULINARY GENIUS HALF THE TIME GIVEN THE FACT THAT YOU TEND TO USE DUALITY AS A POINTLESS MOTIF FOR MOST OF YOUR ACTIONS, AND KNOWING MY LUCK AND HOW MUCH THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE HATES KARKAT VANTAS, YOU WOULD BE COOKING WHATEVER IT IS DURING THE HALF OF THE TIME WHEN YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW AN ARTIFICIAL HEATING SUSTEM WORKS.

[09:44:10] TA: iit 2eem2 you know me better than you’re lettiing off KK but hone2tly ii thiink when iit come2 to ediible 2ub2tance2 ii’m twiice a2 good wiith iit than mo2t troll2 

[09:44:32] TA: but that’2 ju2t an e2tiimate ba2ed on the motiif ii 2eem to be crazed for

[09:48:17] CG: I’D ASK YOU TO PROVE IT AFTER OUR SPARRING MATCH, BUT I’M SURE YOU WOULD BE TOO EXHAUSTED AND ON TOP OF THATM I WOUDL PREFER IT IF YOU DIDN’T BURN DOWN MY HIVE AND LEAVE ME WITHOUT A PLACE TO GET AWAY FROM MY OWN PERSONAL HELL ON ALTERNIA WITHOUT NEEDING TO CALL SOMEBODY TO FLY ME OFF.

[09:54:06] TA: we’ll 2ee what happen2 

[09:54:57] TA: you’re iin good hand2 you know

[09:55:19] TA: and be2iide2 ii’m goiing to kiick your a22 2omethiing fiierce when we get back

[09:57:06] CG: WITHOUT YOUR PSIONICS AND AGAINST THE FIGHTING STYLE THAT EVERY SELF-RESPECTING THRESHSECUTIONER MAKES SURE TO MASTER BECAUSE IT LITERALLY IS WHAT MAKES THEM THE DEADLIEST FOOTSOLDIERS OF THE ALTERNIAN MILITARY? I AM WONDERING JUST HOW YOU PLAN ON DOING THAT.

[09:58:09] TA: you’ll fiind out won’t you KK? anyway we’re here

[09:58:20] TA: ii thiink

[10:00:37] CG: YES, WE’RE HERE. NOW WILL YOU PUT ME DOWN SO THAT I CAN EFFECTIVELY HAND YOUR ASS TO YOU WITHOUT EVEN TRYING VERY HARD?

[10:03:52] — technologiicalApiiculture [TA] puts Karkat down —

[10:03:57] TA: ii hope you’re ready bro

[10:07:43] CG: PREPARE TO REGRET EVER THINKING THAT I SOMEHOW WASN’T A PERFECTLY COMPETENT FIGHTER, SOLLUX CAPTOR, BECAUSE THIS IS GOING TO BE EASIER THAN EATING THE GRUB SAUCE RIGHT OUT OF ITS CONTAINER.

[10:09:00] TA: oh iit’2 on vanta2

[10:09:03] TA: prepare your2elf

Karkat let out a harsh sigh and frowned, logging off of Trollian completely this time. Obviously Vriska’s help was not going to be what he agreed to, and he was due to back out of this whole thing now. Maybe he’d troll Sollux instead and ask if there was an easier quick and painless way to die than by being mind controlled.

He stood up on his quest bed, a circular brown slab of rock with an emblem in the center that appeared to be a wound with three trails of red blood leaking out of it, and prepared to leave for now before he heard somebody behind him.

joylessNeonaticide began trolling constitutionsGrief at [??:??] JN: is this the JN: ugh JN: short and angry fucker named karkat CG: WOW, I CAN’T BELIEVE WHOEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT ME HAD SUCH A *PLEASANT* DESCRIPTION OF HOW I AM AND HOW I INTERACT WITH OTHERS. I COULD PRODUCE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF WHATEVER SLUDGE-LIKE MATERIAL PRODUCES THE FLYING FEATHERED SCREECHBEASTS ON THIS PLANET IN JOY. JN: wow JN: no kidding youre an angry guy JN: that makes things less awkward i like it JN: ok JN: what is grey and bleeds all over JN: btw im right behind you —joylessNeonaticide stabs— —joylessNeonaticide stabs again— —joylessNeonaticide like a fuckload of times— —constitutionsGrief dies— —constitutionsGrief gave up trolling joylessNeonaticide at [??:??]

It was quick after Karkat heard whoever this person was mention that he was right behind the mutant. There were multiple sharp pains in his back and his chest, and they were so sudden, he couldn’t resist what was happening.

It wasn’t dying with dignity, but it wasn’t suicide and by this point he couldn’t back out. If he did, the death would be permanent.

His body fell against the brown stone slab with a thud and almost instantaneously, chains began to coil around his arms and legs as it was elevated and his dream self transported to Skaia, the same symbol as the one on the quest bed being projected against the large entity in black.

It worked.

Karkat woke up on a white checkerboard ground, suddenly aware of two tiny extensions to his back that weren’t there before, and upon reaching a hand back to feel them realized that they were small wings. However, due to their size, they were completely useless and he wouldn’t be flying any time soon.

Clearly they were just some idiotic motif because oh look, being a fairy is certainly godly enough.

Sighing, he sat himself and looked around, before looking down and examining himself.

It was then that he realized that what he was wearing did not involve any pants outside of what appeared to be clingy undergarments.

[22:28:42] — constitutionsGrief [CG] began trolling technologiicalApiiculture [TA] at 22:28 —

[22:28:42] CG: OH GOD, YOU’RE PROBABLY PERMANENTLY DEAD, AREN’T YOU? YOU HAVEN’T CONTACTED ME IN A WHILE. IT PROBABLY DIDN’T WORK. FUCK, I AM SO SORRY FOR PAST ME’S OBVIOUS IDIOCY. I SHOULD HAVE KEPT YOU FROM OFFING YOURSELF SOMEHOW.

[22:29:02] TA: ye2 karkat that’2 exactly riight

[22:29:07] TA: ii am no a 2pooky gho2t

[22:29:09] TA: ooooo

[22:29:56] TA: the joke ii2 ii’m fiine and iit worked 2o you can calm your 2hame globe2 KK, thank2 for worryiing though

[22:32:17] CG: WAIT, IT ACTUALLY WORKED AND YOU’RE NOT DEAD. WHAT KIND OF IDIOCY DID IT TAKE FOR YOU TO CONTINUE BASKING IN THE PRIDE OF BEING SOME IMMORTAL GOD INSTEAD OF JUST SENDING A QUICK MESSAGE THAT SAYS “I’M FINE AND IT WORKED AND YOU DON’T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME NOW THAT I’M IMMORTAL.”

[22:32:59] TA: well you know what they 2ay about iidiiocy and iimmortal god2 

[22:33:29] TA: 2orry karkat ii 2hould have me22aged you when ii got back, ii hone2tly haven’t been payiing attentiion to my 2creen2 at all

[22:33:58] TA: and that’2 comiing from ME 2o don’t take iit per2onally alriight? TZ doe2n’t know eiither. ii 2hould probably get on that two

[22:40:08] CG: WELL NOW I’M HUMILIATED ABOUT THE DISPLAY I WAS MAKING BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD. I’M SO GLAD THAT THERE IS NOBODY ELSE ON THIS PLANET BUT THOSE BLACK CREATURES THAT OBVIOUSLY ARE MEANT TO BE ENEMIES AND FLYING SCREECHBEASTS THAT KEEP GIVING ME LOOKS THAT MAKE ME THINK THAT MAYBE THEY WANT TO CONSUME MY TOXIN ABSORPTION SAC.

[22:46:07] TA: ehehe well for what iit’2 worth ii appreciiate the dii2play even iif ii diidn’t 2ee iit but hey thii2 mean2 our 2parriing match ii2 2tiill happeniing riight?

[22:50:44] CG: YES, WE CAN HAVE IT WHILE WE’RE ON OUR DATE, WHENEVER AND WHEREVER IT IS ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO BE, WHICH YOU WERE DERANGED ENOUGH TO NOT PLAN. IT’D BE NICE TO KNOW WHEN I NEED TO GO TO THE ABLUTION CHAMBER AND TRY TO WASH OFF EVERY POSSIBLE WRETCHED STENCH THAT MIGHT FORCE ME TO VOMIT ALL OVER MY HIVE IF I DON’T GET RID OF IT SOON.

[22:52:07] TA: wouldn’t whenever iit become2 unbearable 2uffiice a2 a tiime iin whiich to clean your2elf KK? or do you normally avoiid per2onal hygiine unle22 tryiing to iimpre22 2omeone el2e?

[22:53:09] TA: and a2 for a tiime ii don’t know, whenever you aren’t nook deep iin large 2hriimpy- bee 2tiinger2 for more than a few miinute2 ii can alway2 come by

[22:53:26] TA: you ju2t have to tell me the phy2iical attriibute2 of your planet 2o ii know where to go from 2kaiia

[22:55:06] CG: I’M KIND OF BUSY DOING OTHER THINGS AT THE MOMENT, INCLUDING REPLACING MY LOAD GAPER SO THAT I DON’T NEED TO RELIEVE MYSELF IN A LARGE FLOOD OF BLOOD, BECAUSE NOT ONLY IS THAT UNNERVING, BUT I THINK I’M GOING TO END UP WITH SOME DISEASE THAT WAY,

[22:56:58] TA: ii doubt the flood of blood out2iide your hiive ha2 any connectiion to what’2 cour2iing through you veiin2 KK though ii’ll agree you 2hould fiix you load gaper

[22:57:24] CG: I’M ALSO BUSY BEING CAUGHT NOOK DEEP IN SHRIMPY BEE STINGERS AND EVERY SINGLE TIME, MY GLASSES GIVE ME THE HORROR OF MY ENTIRE LIFE BECAUSE APPARENTLY MY NERVES LOATHE THE FEELING OF STINGERS IN MY FRONTAL SURFACE OF MY GLOBULAR THINK PAN HOLDER.

[22:58:52] CG: AND ON TOP OF THAT, FUTURE ME CLEARLY DOESN’T DESERVE THE FEELING OF BEING CLEAN ANYWAY AND I’D PREFER TO NOT GIVE HIM THAT SATISFACTION UNLESS I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO, BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO BE JUST AS DISGUSTING AS HE SEEMS ONLINE.

[23:01:43] TA: karkat that ii2 2uch a 2tupiid and unrea2onable method to your madne22 ii 2wear to god iif ii have to go there my2elf and phy2iically force you to bathe iit wiill be the mo2t humiiliiatiing and traumatiiziing thiing for both partiie2

[23:01:46] TA: ii wiill make 2ure of that

[23:04:49] CG: RELAX, I’M GOING TO BATHE AFTER I’VE FIXED THE LOAD GAPER AND CLEANED ALL THE BLOOD OFF THE FLOOR OF MY HIVE, BECAUSE IT’S STARTING TO SMELL LIKE A ROTTING CORPSE IN HERE.

[23:06:22] TA: the 2heer iirony iin you telliing me to relax ii2 hiilariiou2

[23:06:45] TA: but ii’m glad you’re doiing 2omethiing productiive other than fliippiing every 2hiit you’ve ever known

[23:09:01] CG: THE LAST THING I NEED IS FOR YOU TO FORCE ME INTO TAKING CARE OF MYSELF JUST BECAUSE MY THINK PAN HAS CLEARLY BEEN REDUCED TO A SUBSTANCELESS SLUDGE THAT I DON’T THINK IS EVEN EDIBLE AT THIS POINT, AND I’M GOING TO PROVE THAT I DON’T LACK EVERY REGARD FOR MY WELL-BEING.

[23:09:49] CG: I JUST TALKED TO VRISKA AND AS SOON AS I’VE FOUND WHATEVER SLAB I’M SUPPOSED TO OFF MYSELF ON, SHE’S GOING TO MAKE MY DEATH AS PAINLESS AS POSSIBLE, HOPEFULLY.

[23:14:30] TA: huh and here ii thought you’d take whatever chance you could to off your2elf iif iit meant that future you wouldn’t be around to 2ee iit

[23:15:11] TA: and ii gue22 2o long a2 you’re fiine wiith the whole ordeal then iit’2 not a biig ii22ue ii gue22

[23:15:34] TA: but iif you feel liike you’ve done anythiing out of place or liike 2he miight be abu2iing her miind control thiing let me know

[23:16:17] TA: ii owe her a good beat down for tryiing to doom our tiimeliine over an iimmature relatiion2hiip ii22ue

[23:17:50] CG: DON’T EVEN MOCK ME, SOLLUX. I’M HORRIFIED OF THE CONCEPT OF DYING AND I WOULD PREFER TO NOT DO THIS, BUT APPARENTLY IT’S THE ONLY WAY TO PROVE THAT I’M NOT SOME PATHETIC WEAKLING. AS FOR IF SHE’S ABUSING IT, HOW IN THE PLEASANT FUCKING IF WOOLBEASTS WOULD I MANAGE TO TELL YOU IF SHE HAS A FIRM GRASP OVER MY MIND?

[23:20:00] TA: leave note2 around you hiive, u2e the endle22 riiver2 of blood a2 iink and wriite me a 2even paragraph explanatiion before 2he re-ii22ue2 her complete controll

[23:20:06] TA: down wiith the 2piider-8iitch

[23:20:09] TA: anarchy anarchy

[23:23:13] CG: I THINK I’D PREFER TO USE NORMAL INK TO WRITE THIS EXPLANATION TO WHATEVER DISGUSTING SUBSTANCE THAT WE’RE CALLING BLOOD IS FLOWING AROUND MY PLANET AND DRENCHING THE BOTTOMS OF MY LEGS IN IT SO THAT I LOOK WOUNDED WHEN I’M NOT.

[23:25:51] TA: that’2 goiing to fuck wiith my pan when ii get there ii2n’t iit? well eiither way iit’ll be fiine ju2t let me know iif 2he fuck2 wiith you

[23:26:13] CG: BUT I GUESS THIS MEANS THAT AFTER I’M DONE FIGURING OUT HOW TO FIX THE LOAD GAPER, I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO FIX THE ELEVATED WRITING PLATEAU THAT ARADIA DESTROYED BEFORE. I MIGHT NOT HAVE TIME TO GET MY PATHETIC ASS INTO THE ABLUTION CHAMBER BEFORE YOU GET HERE.

[23:27:29] CG: AND YES, THE BLOOD PROBABLY WILL FUCK WITH YOUR THINK PAN, BECAUSE IT CERTAINLY DID FOR ME. THE FIRST FEW TIMES I GOT IT ON ME, I WAS WONDERING WHY I WASN’T IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN.

[23:30:15] TA: ehehe iit 2ound2 to me liike you’re turniing out to be one of the more 2kiilled troll2 iin our group

[23:30:50] TA: fiixiing your plumbiing, buiildiing back elevated wriitiing plataeu2, hone2tly now ii know who to go to iif ii need anythiing iin my hiive fiixed

[23:33:38] CG: I’M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW ALL OF THIS IS GOING TOGETHER, AND I DID JUST GET A VAT OF LOAD GAPER WATER TO THE FACE. I’M HONESTLY SURPRISED THAT MY GLASSES STILL WORK WELL AND AREN’T TELLING ME THAT MY PUMP BISCUIT IS GOING INTO SOME KIND OF STASIS AS MY TROLLIAN APP STARTS FLASHING NOTIFICATIONS THAT LEAD ME TO EMPTY CHATS.

[23:34:35] TA: well iif you get water-damage ii can alway2 fiix your tech a2 for your load gaper, ii can alway2 re-connect iit for you through “iin game majyyk2”

[23:34:42] TA: you know a2 a 2erver player?

[23:36:23] CG: THAT MIGHT ACTUALLY BE USEFUL, I GUESS, BUT UNLESS ARADIA IS WILLING TO LET YOU HACK HER HUSK TOP OVER SOMETHING AS INCONSEQUENTIAL AS A LOAD GAPER, I’M NOT SURE HOW YOU EXPECT TO DO IT.

[23:37:01] TA: ii don’t thiink ii’ve a2ked anyone’2 permii22iion before hackiing iinto they’re hu2ktop2

[23:37:21] TA: and be2iide2 ii’m not hackiing the con2ole ii’m hackiing iinto the connectiion

[23:39:15] CG: I GUESS THAT WORKS THEN. FEEL FREE TO FIX MY LOAD GAPER SO THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE AN ELEVATED WRITING PLATEAU TO WORK WITH IF AND WHEN VRISKA IS TAKING TOO MUCH ADVANTAGE OF HER CONTROL OVER ME.

[23:40:41] TA: okay hold on a 2econd

[23:41:27] — technologiicalApiiculture [TA] re-installs load gaper —

[23:41:46] TA: there

[23:42:20] TA: and ii can rebuiild your plateau giive me another two 2econd2

[23:43:23] — technologiicalApiiculture [TA] drops replacement desk and removes the broken one —

[23:43:32] TA: thought ii could fiix iit 2orry

[23:45:48] CG: DO I LOOK LIKE I COULD GIVE TWO FUCKS ABOUT WHETHER YOU ARE FIXING OR REPLACING THE ELEVATED WRITING PLATEAU? ALL I CARE ABOUT IS ACTUALLY HAVING ONE THAT ISN’T COMPLETELY DEMOLISHED BY ARADIA AND HER UNSYMPATHETIC GHOSTLY ANTICS.

[23:46:50] TA: yeah you’re welcome, 2peakiing of AA ii haven’t heard from her iin a long tiime

[23:47:29] TA: ii feel liike ii could relate to her better now, ii 2hould me22age her

[23:48:43] CG: ENJOY TALKING TO HER AND DEALING WITH HER EMOTIONLESS AND COMPLETELY PSYCHOTIC SHENANIGANS THAT ARE LIKELY TO GET US ALL CULLED.

[23:49:32] TA: don’t 2weat iit KK iif anythiing ii2 goiing to get u2 culled ii can 2top iit, or at lea2t iintercept iit long enough to keep everyone 2afe

[23:49:53] TA: beiing an iimortal god ha2 iit2 perk2 beliieve iit or not ehehe

[23:51:36] CG: I HOPE IT DOES. SPEAKING OF BEING AN IMMORTAL GOD, SHOULD I TROLL YOU AFTER I’VE SUCCESSFULLY OFFED MYSELF SO YOU DON’T END UP MAKING THE SAME DISPLAY I DID FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON?

[23:52:31] TA: iif you feel the need to iinform me of your contiinuou2 2ucce22 through the game then ye2

[23:53:16] TA: ii’m probably goiing to lo2e my 2hiit regardle22 2o eiither way you want to work iit ii’ll be here fliippiing 2ome whiich way

[23:53:34] TA: but yeah ii’d liike to know that you a2cended and diidn’t have 2piider biitch fuck 2omethiing up

[23:54:23] TA: iin fact the iidea of her doiing anythiing for you ii2 2ort of leaviing a 2our ta2te iin my mouth 2o iif you deciide that you don’t much tru2t her ii can alway2 2tep iin and help you read god tiier iif you come to your riight miind and realiize 2erket ii2n’t really reliiable

[23:58:18] CG: LOOK, I’M JUST CONCERNED THAT IF I HAVE SOMEBODY ELSE DO IT, I’M GOING TO BACK OUT AT THE LAST SECOND BECAUSE I’M A COWARD WHO SEEMS TO TRY TO AVOID TAKING ANY RISKS EVEN IF THEY’LL HELP ME LATER. BESIDES, IF I’M TEMPORARILY VRISKA’S MINDLESS SLAVE, THAT SURELY MEANS THAT I WON’T BE FEELING ANY OF WHAT’S GOING ON, RIGHT?

[00:05:00] TA: ii gue22 2o, except ii don’t know for 2ure and that’2 why ii’m offeriing my2elf iin2tead of her

[00:05:23] TA: whiile yeah ii agree wiith what 2he’2 goiing for and you DO need to take rii2k2 you’re goiing from a 1 to a 88 riight now

[00:08:35] CG: I’M JUST TRYING TO MAKE SURE I DON’T BACK OUT, AND ONCE AGAIN, I’D PREFER TO NOT BE CONSCIOUS OF THE FACT THAT I’M DYING BECAUSE IT WOULD MAKE ME FLIP EVERY CONCEIVABLE SHIT FROM HERE TO ALTERNIA WHEREVER THAT EVEN IS IF IT STILL EXISTS.

[00:13:42] TA: alriight ii can re2pect that iif nothiing el2e

[00:15:36] CG: THANK YOU FOR FINALLY BEING UNDERSTANDING THAT I HAVE AN IRRATIONAL FEAR OF THIS WHOLE THING AND WOULD PREFER TO MAKE THIS AS PAINLESS AS POSSIBLE.

[00:18:45] TA: karkat ii wa2 never judgiing you

[00:18:51] TA: ii wa2 2iimply judgiing your mean2 of goiing about thii2

[00:19:12] TA: you’re obviiou2ly 2hiithiive maggot2 about the iidea and for whatever rea2on are 2tiill hellbent on goiing through wiith iit

[00:20:16] TA: lii2ten, a2 2omeone who care2 about you, ii’m telliing you to maybe not ru2h iin becau2e you thiink iit’2 goiing to prove your2elf and e2peciially iif doiing that mean2 puttiing your2elf iin vrii2ka 2erket’2 dii2gu2tiing talon2

[00:20:45] TA: a2 your FRIIEND, ii thiink iit’2 a good iidea that you’re takiing rii2k2 and tryiing to better your2elf one way or another.

[00:20:55] TA: ii’m ju2t a2 worriied a2 you are about you iif not more KK

[00:26:12] CG: YOU’RE MAKING THIS HARDER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE. I JUST HAVE TO FIND THE SLAB, WHATEVER IT’S EVEN SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE, TROLL VRISKA, AND HOPE SHE KILLS ME THEN AND THERE INSTEAD OF USING ME FOR SOMETHING ELSE. IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT MY INABILITY TO GET OVER SOME WRIGGLERISH WORRY MIGHT COST US THE GAME. BESIDES, HAVE YOU HEARD ME SCREAMING IN YOUR THINK PAN OR ARE YOU JUST WORRIED

[00:40:06] TA: maybe both but ii thiink ii’ve gotten a liittle better at de2cerniing what2 a doomed tiimeliine and what ii2n’t

[00:42:47] TA: but ye2 ii’ve been heariing your voiice and now iit’2 not ju2t murmer2 whiich you thiink would be a bad thiing but ii2 actually great

[00:43:00] CG: AND DO YOU THINK WHAT YOU’RE HEARING IS A DOOMED TIMELINE WHERE OUR IDIOCY WAS OBVIOUSLY MAGNIFIED HUNDRED FOLD AND SPEWED OUT INTO THE FAR CLUTCHES OF PARADOX SPACE WHERE THE REST OF US MIGHT FEED ON AND SLOWLY ABSORB IT?

[00:44:05] TA: ii don’t thiink you have to worry about ab2orbiing any doomed tiimeliine ver2iion2 of your own iidiiocy KK let me worry about that 2ort of 2tuff

[00:44:28] TA: you’re the page of blood iit’2 not iin your que2t to worry about death and doom

[00:44:34] TA: oh, diid you know you were the page of blood?

[00:44:45] CG: AND WHY WOULD YOU BE HAPPY TO HEAR THE SOUND OF ME DYING? I THOUGHT YOU HATED THE SOUNDS OF EVERYBODY SCREAMING FOR THEIR LIVES INTO YOUR EARS AS YOU CLUTCH AT YOUR HEAD AND FIND THE NEARES LOAD GAPER TO VOMIT IN?

[00:45:50] TA: well yeah normally ii do but iit wa2 becau2e they were all murmer2 and ii couldn’t tell iif ii wa2 goiing crazy or iif there wa2 ju2t 2ome way ii could have helped and diidn’t but now that ii can properly hear the 2iituatiion ii know what2 happeniing

[00:46:00] CG: AND NO, I HAD NO IDEA I WAS THE PAGE OF BLOOD. MY SPRITE JUST CALLED ME A “BOND SERVANT” AND “THE MOS LOYAL TRAITOR”, BUT I’M SO GLAD TO KNOW THAT THIS GAME APPARENTLY HAS A TWISTED SENSE OF HUMOR WHERE IT RELISHES IN PEOPLE’S TORMENT.

[00:47:24] TA: well, yeah ii read iit iin your 2erver text code. oddly enough there’2 a lot of iinformatiion iin there that ii overlooked whiile ii wa2 addiing iin colour2 to each iindiiviidual fiile

[00:47:31] CG: THOUGH I AM GLAD TO KNOW YOU APPARENTLY FIND SOLACE IN KNOWING WHAT’S GOING ON AND WHY SOMEBODY MIGHT BE DYING. I JUST HOPE YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING DERANGED AND STUPID BECAUSE OF IT.

[00:48:12] TA: ii won’t KK ii’m not that den2e and now that ii have 2omethiing to go off ii can be cautiiou2 and paranoiid iin 2triide

[00:49:26] CG: LOOK, CAN YOU JUST TELL ME IF YOU KNOW WHERE MY QUEST BED IS AND IF IT SEEMS LIKE THIS IDEA IS GOING TO BE SUCCESSFUL? I JUST WANT TO PROVE THAT I’M NOT AS PATHETIC AS EVERYBODY SEEMS TO THINK I AM.

[00:49:54] TA: well for what iit’2 worth ii don’t thiink you’re pathetiic

[00:50:10] TA: and hold on ii can 2core the long and lat coordiinate2 from your fiile

[00:50:39] TA: and iin relatiion to your hiive iit ii2…

[00:51:07] TA: okay ii’m goiing to draw you a really 2hiitty map of where your que2tbed ii2 iin relatiion to your hiive

[00:51:52] — technologiicalApiiculture [TA] SENT FILE: land of blood and tormentiing karkat vanta2 —

[00:54:38] CG: I’M SO GLAD THE FACT THAT THIS LAND IS MY OWN PERSONAL VERSION OF HELL TICKLES YOUR AMUSEMENT PALATE TO THE POINT WHERE YOU MIGHT SUFFOCATE DUE TO THE HIDEOUS BOISES YOU’RE MAKING, SOLLUX CAPTOR.

[00:56:29] CG: *NOISES

[00:57:58] TA: ehehe

[00:58:08] TA: iit’ll get ea2iier KK tru2t me

[00:58:24] TA: realiiaziing your tiitle help2 make your land bearable

[00:58:38] TA: don’t know how but tru2t me on thii2 okay?

[01:01:12] CG: I HOPE IT DOES. THE NEXT TIME I SEE A CHAIN THAT’S ACTUALLY RIGHT BREAKING, I MIGHT JUST DO AN ACROBATIC FUCKING PIROUETTE OFF THE HANDLE AND LAND ON MY NEW PLANET WHICH IS THE LAND OF KARKAT VANTAS’S UNFATHOMABLE SCREAMS OF PURE INSANITY.

[01:06:24] TA: well 2hiit ii’ll have to briing you a welcomiing giift then ehehe

[01:06:56] TA: how doe2 a 2ea2onal doormat 2ound to greet people iinto your endle22 2pout2 of pure unadulterated anger and 2piite?

[01:10:49] CG: WHY NOT? MAYBE WHILE WE’RE AT IT, A RESTRAINT GARMENT WOULD BE USEFUL IN CASE I LASH OUT AT ANYBODY WHO DARES TO COME WITHIN A CLOSE ENOUGH RADIUS OF THE DOORMAT TO NOTICE THAT I WAS ACTUALLY BEING SERIOUS ABOUT WHAT I WAS SAYING ABOUT MY INEVITABLE GRACEFUL FEATHERBEAST DIVE OFF THE DEEP END.

[01:16:25] TA: ii beliieve iit karkat but iif ii’m goiing to have to get you a re2traiin garment ii hope you know ii’m goiing to go the whole niine yard2 and get your 2everl a22orted food troff2 and maybe a waterbottle for your niice confiinement iin the darke2t part2 of the dead planet you re2iide iinto after you 2hiit ha2 been properly fliipped

[01:20:14] CG: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT OVERJOYS ME THAT YOU THINK MY TORMENT IS SO AMUSING WHEN IN REALITY IT’S MORE HORRIFYING THAN MY ENTIRE PARANOID EXISTENCE BACK ON ALTERNIA.

[01:21:27] TA: come on karkat you know iit’2 a joke be2iide2 you can’t tell me you’re 2tiill a2 freaked out a2 you were before you me22aged me

[01:22:07] TA: you know ii’m not dead, you’ve got a plan to make your2elf 2tronger, your land ii2 goiing to get ea2iier to deal wiith, and ii’ll make 2ure you turn out fiine by the end

[01:22:17] TA: iit hone2tly 2ound2 to me liike you 2hould be rea22ured riight now

[01:26:09] CG: I AM REASSURED, BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME LESS FREAKED OUT. YOU’RE RIGHT TO SAY THAT I CAN’T TRUST VRISKA, BUT OBVIOUSLY I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE UNLESS I WANT TO ACTUALLY NEED THE RESTRAINT GARMENT WHILE I’M HAVING SOMEBODY HELP ME OFF MYSELF AND ON TOP OF THAT, I THINK I DESPISE THE CHAINS MORE THAN I DESPISE THE BLOOD.

[01:28:27] TA: ii fuckiing warned you about the chaiin2 bro

[01:28:52] TA: ii don’t know what to tell you to get over that beca2e ii’m 2tiill lo2iing 2hiit about tree2 

[01:30:33] CG: MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO NOT FLY INTO THEM. SUDDENLY THEY’RE MUCH LESS OMINOUS AND FRIGHTENING BECAUSE NOW THEY’RE NO LONGER A PERSONAL SAFETY HAZARD THAT YOU’LL BLIND YOURSELF ON.

[01:31:38] TA: thank2 karkat becau2e that’2 the rea2on they’re cau2iing me iimmen2e mental 2tre22 ye2 you fiigured iit out iit ii2 you the 2marte2t troll who ever diid

[01:34:39] CG: IT’S PROBABLY A BETTER GUESS THAN WHATEVER HALF-ASSED EXPLANATION YOU MANAGED TO VOMIT UP AND ATTEMPTED TO FEED TO THE NEAREST CREATURE THAT WOULDN’T TRY TO DEVOUR YOUR BIOLOGICAL TOXIN ABSORPTION MECHANISM.

[01:35:43] TA: what ii2 up wiith you and cliingiing to one a2pect of anythiing

[01:36:08] TA: toxiin ab2orptiion 2ac, purple legume 2haped vegetable

[01:37:29] CG: TO BE HONEST, THE TOXIN ABSORPTION SAC IS BECAUSE THE FLYING FEATHERED SCREECHBEASTS KEEP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THEY WANT TO DEVOUR MINE.

[01:45:17] TA: that’2 a 2peciifiic look to be giiviing ehehe

[01:46:33] TA: the2e mu2t be 2ome advanced 2creechbea2t

[01:47:25] CG: IT’S TERRIBLE. I WOULD RECOMMEND AVOIDING ANY LIFE FORMS ON YOUR PLANET IN CASE THE REST OF THEM SEEM TO CRAVE THE INTERNAL ORGANS OF OTHER TROLLS.

[01:50:20] TA: well from what ii’ve experiienced they don’t 2eem to want my organ2 more or le22 than any other organ2

[01:52:58] CG: I’D SUGGEST AVOIDING THEM ANYWAY IN CASE THE ONES ON MY PLANET ARE JUST THE WORST AT USING THIS WONDERFUL THING WE ALL SHOULD HAVE BEEN SCHOOL-FED ABOUT AS WRIGGLERS KNOWN AS SUBTLETY WHILE TRYING TO HUNT FOR THE INTERNAL ORGANS OF ANY PASSERBY.

[02:03:01] TA: oh of cour2e karkat

[02:03:35] TA: ii wa2 only thiinkiing about fiindiing a ne2t and makiing friiend2 wiith all of the terriible creature2 who have been tryiing to iinje2t you

[02:06:11] CG: WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T JUST IN CASE THEY DECIDE YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS LOOK JUST AS APPEALING AS MINE. IN FACT-

[02:06:19] CG: SHIT. ONE MOMENT.

[02:06:33] — constitutionsGrief [CG] is now an idle chum! —

[02:10:56] TA: take your tiime KK

[02:11:33] TA: ii know all two well about tho2e annoyiing con2ort2 or enemiie2 or whatever

[02:11:50] CG: QUICK QUESTION. HOW DO YOU KNOCK A FEATHERED SCREECHBEAST OFF BALANCE?

[02:13:46] TA: you really need to advance your tactiic2 book

[02:14:03] TA: uh, iingure iit’2 wiing

[02:14:28] TA: iit’ll throw off iit’2 iimput and cau2e iit to rear and twiirl out of control

[02:15:22] CG: THANKS. MAYBE THIS THING WON’T MURDER ME AT THIS MOMENT BEFORE I CAN EVEN GET TO THE DUMB SACRIFICIAL SLAB.

[02:15:29] — constitutionsGrief [CG] is now an idle chum! —

[02:19:06] TA: well ii’ll keep my fiinger2 cro22ed

[02:19:12] TA: let me know iif you need my a22ii2tance

[02:21:41] CG: WELL, I THINK YOU’LL BE PLEASED TO KNOW THAT I KILLED THE CARNIVOROUS SLUDGE PAN AND IT TOLD ME THAT APPARENTLY THE PAGE IS SUPPOSED TO BE STABILIZING THE CHAINS, WHATEVER IT EVEN MEANS BY THAT.

[02:28:06] TA: 2tabaliiziing the chaiin2?

[02:28:16] TA: that 2ound2 omiinou2 and 2pooky

[02:31:44] CG: IT SOUNDS LIKE THEY’RE TAKING WHATEVER I NEED TO DO AND COVERING IT IN POINTLESS FLOWERY RIDDLES AND LAYERS OF METAPHORS SO THAT THEY CAN JUST MAKE THIS THING MORE *MAAAGICAAAALL*. WELL, GUESS WHAT YOU MASSIVE DOUCHESTAIN GRUBCRUSHER OF A GAME, I NEVER KNEW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO REACH A POINT WHERE I WAS GIVING NEGATIVE INFINITY FUCKS ABOUT A SUBJECT. THAT IS QUITE MAGICAL INDEED.

[02:35:58] TA: ii’ll 2ay

[02:36:13] TA: karkat you have 2iingle-handedly broken the entiirety of the uniiver2al number 2y2tem

[02:36:27] TA: ii can’t even tell what letter2 ii 2hould be replaciing

[02:36:41] TA: you’ve broken the 5y573m 8r0

[02:38:41] CG: I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY ERRORS YOU MIGHT HAVE IN YOUR CODING NOW THAT UNIVERSAL MATHEMATICS CAN CLEARLY NO LONGER GO ON.

[02:40:10] TA: you’ve ruiined me karkat how wiill ii go on?

[02:41:04] TA: my only joy iin liife ha2 been taken from me and iit’2 becau2e you flew off the deep end

[02:43:02] CG: MAYBE YOU COULD SPEND THE TIME THAT YOU WOULD BE WASTING ON COMPUTER CODING THAT NOBODY IS GOING TO BENEFIT FROM CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT THE WORLD HAS ALREADY ENDED BY PRACTICING WITH STRIFE SPECIBI WITHOUT THE HELP OF YPUR PSIONICS.

[02:44:31] CG: *YOUR

[02:45:11] TA: you know my code2 are top notch KK

[02:45:19] CG: WOW, CLEARLY I HAVE TO IMPROVE THE VOICE RECOGNITION ON THESE THINGS IF I WANT MY MESSAGES TO EVEN BE READABLE.

[02:45:59] TA: iit’2 almo2t iimpo22iible to mii2hear you when you’re 2creamiing eveythiing you 2ay

[02:47:39] CG: TELL THAT TO THE MALFUNCTIONING COMPUTER GLASSES WHO APPARENTLY FEEL THE NEED TO MISSPELL SOME OF WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY, AS IF THAT WILL HELP TO GET MY ENTIRE MESSAGE ACROSS.

[02:48:22] TA: iit wa2 probably the water from the load gaper that 2pla2hed onto them

[02:48:31] TA: remiind me and ii’ll tune them up when ii 2ee you

[02:51:11] CG: I GUESS THAT WORKS. I CAB JUST WEAR THE ONES I GOT WHEN EQUIUS WAS TRAIBIBG ME TO BECOME A STRONGER FIGHTER THAN I WAS DURING THE REBELLION.

[02:51:32] CG: SPELLING CORRECTION STAR CAN COMMA TRAINING

[02:52:15] TA: omg yeah okay ii’m goiing to 2end you a code for a better paiir of 2hade2 

[02:52:27] TA: of cour2e they are miine 2o ii mean take them wiith 2triide

[02:54:08] TA: ii u2ed my hiive con2ole to make them 2o they’re the be2t qualiity me22agiing you’re goiing to get

[02:54:40] TA: the code ii2: 2mooth

[02:55:07] CG: I GUESS I DON’T NEED FIAGNOSTICS ON MY VITAL ORGANS FOR NOW ANYWAYS, AT LEAST CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I’M ON MY WAY TO DIE FOR IMMORTALITY.

[02:55:23] CG: SPELLING CORRECTION STAR DIAGNOSTICS

[02:57:03] CG: YOU KNOW WHAT, I’LL JUST USE THE “2MOOTH” CODE AND COMBINE IT WITH THE “NN0N173R” ONE, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THESE THINGS AREN’T NEARLY AS USEFUL AS THEIR NAME WOULD HAVE SUGGESTED.

[02:59:56] TA: ehehe thought iit miight help

[03:00:10] TA: you’ll get the qualiity wiith your own 2et of perk2 

[03:00:26] TA: though why you need a 2couter for your power level2 ii’ll never know

[03:03:45] CG: IT’S MORE SO I CAN HAVE THAT CONSTANT REMINDER THAT I MIGHT BEED TO GET THE EVERLIVING FUCK OUT OF THERE OR SO I CAN FEEL REASSURED THAT WHATEVER IS GOING ON ISN’T GOING TO KILL ME.

[03:16:12] CG: SPELLING CORRECTION STAR NEED COMMA OH MY FUCKING GOD

[03:16:22] TA: ii gue22 2o iif that’2 what you thiink you need iin order to keep your2elf 2afe

[03:16:35] TA: karkat you need to get on that code ehehe

[03:17:54] CG: I’LL TAKE CARE OF THAT AFTER I’VE ASCENDED TO THESE WONDER SO CALLED ENCLOSURE TALON GID TIERS ENCLOSURE TALON.

[03:20:49] TA: damn karkat the accent ii2 2trong or 2ome 2hiit

[03:20:56] CG: AND I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO BOTHER CORRECTING THAT SPELLING ERROR, BECAUSE IT WILL COME OUT LOOKING LIKE EBCLOSURE TALON * ENCLOSURE TALON.

[03:21:57] TA: karkat are you currently 2tuffiing a bulge down your throat? there ii2 no way your voiice to text ii2 THII2 horriible

[03:26:50] CG: ARE YOU DOING THIS, SOLLUX? ARE YOU MAKING THIS SEVERAL TIMES WORSE THAN IT ACTUALLY HAS TO BE OR ARE THE GLASSES THAT I LEGITIMATELY *JUST ALCHEMIZED* CLEARLY ON THEIR LAST SURVIVING LIMB AND UNABLE TO FUNCTION PROPERLY AT ALL?

[03:34:06] TA: ii don’t even know KK

[03:34:51] CG: DIAGNOSTICS

[03:35:03] CG: YOU KNOW WHAT, HANG ON A MINUTE.

[03:35:10] — constitutionsGrief [CG] is now an idle chum! —

[03:35:44] TA: ii can try to hack iinto the iip adre22 of your 2hade2 and 2ee iif ii can’t prolong theiir u2efulne22 or not?

[03:35:52] TA: yeah let me know when you get back

[03:36:52] CG: LOOK, I’M TRYING TO FIGHT SOMETHING AND I HAD THE WRONG PROGRAM OPEN, SO JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE.

[03:36:59] — constitutionsGrief [CG] is now an idle chum! —

[03:37:26] TA: ii’m here whne you’re done

[03:41:34] CG: I HAVE A FEW *LOVING* WORDS OF ADVICE FOR YOU. NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES COMMA ATTEMPT TO TALK SLASH TROLL WHILE FIGHTING.

[03:43:56] TA: yeah ii’m aware of that you lo2er, why do you thiink ii dii2appeared 2o 2poradiically

[03:46:40] CG: AFTER THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENED, I FIGURED I COULD CEEP IT UP, BUT THEN THE SHADES CLEARLY DIDN’T LIKE THAT AN APPARENLTY THEY STILL DON’T LIKE WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY. SO WHY DON’T YOU HACK INTO THEIR IP ADDRESS SO YOU CAN MAYBE PRESERVE THEM AT LEAST LONG ENOUGH FOR KY CONVERSATION WITH VRISKA.

[03:47:24] CG: AND ONCE AGAIN, I’M NOT EVEN CHECKING FOR SPELLING ERROR NOW, BECAUSE THESE THINGS CLEARLY LOATHE ME MORE THAN WVEN I LOATHE ME.

[03:49:57] TA: that’2 iimpre22iive

[03:50:02] TA: ii diidn’t thiink iit wa2 po22iible

[03:50:13] TA: okay hold on my me ju2t tiinker for a biit

[03:56:59] CG: 4RE Y0U SONE YET?

[03:57:21] TA: hold plea2e

[04:03:41] CG: H9LY FUCK- 1DLE.

[04:04:54] CG: I ME9N-

[04:05:01] — constitutionsGrief [CG] is now an idle chum! —

[04:05:46] TA: done

[04:05:48] TA: bu2y?

[04:09:33] TA: ii want to 2how you 2omethiing what quiick

[04:09:39] TA: well 2hiit

[04:48:35] CG: OKAY, I FINISHED FIGHTING WHATEVER THAT WAS. DID YOU FINISH WORKING WITH MY SHADES. I SWEAR TO WHATEVER YOU MIGHT VALUE, I WILL DEFECATE ALL OVER ANYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LOVED IF YOU CHANGED THE TYPING QUIRK SETTINGS.

[04:49:08] CG: I THINK I GOT TO MY QUEST BED AND I THINK I’M GOING TO WAIT FOR VRISKA TO COME ONLINE SO THAT I CAN TELL HER TO MIND CONTROL ME TO OFF MYSELF, AS HORRIFYING AS THAT ENTIRE NOTION ACTUALLY IS. I’LL TROLL YOU RIGHT AFTER IT WORKS, IF IT DOES.

[04:49:28] CG: UNTIL THEN, AND THIS IS JUST ASSUMING THAT MY SHADES AREN’T GOING TO BE COMPLETELY FUCKING UP EVERYTHING I’M TRYING TO TYPE BECAUSE THEY SOMEHOW HAVE MORE LOATHING FOR ME THAN I DO,

[04:49:34] CG: <>

[04:49:42] — constitutionsGrief [CG] gave up trolling technologiicalApiiculture [TA] at 04:49 —

[06:38:00] TA: oh 2hiit… uh yeah.

[06:38:04] TA: ju2t let me know KK

[06:38:07] TA: when you need me

[06:38:10] TA: iif you need me ii’m here ii mean

[06:38:15] TA: good luck

[06:38:16] TA: <>

[01:46] -- agesAnnihilation [AA] began trolling afterlifeArchaeologist [AA] at 01:46 --

[01:46] AA: (╹◡╹✿)

[01:46] AA: S0 why y0u stand by ugly smelly c0rpse if y0u n0t g0nna have fun time with it.

[01:47] AA: what d0 y0u mean

[01:47] AA: Y0u stand by c0rpse but n0 have fun with it.

[01:47] AA: What else g00d c0rpse f0r 0ther than dec0rati0n and pleasure.

[01:48] AA: Besides that 0ne kinda ugly w0uldn't pail with.

[01:48] AA: i d0nt kn0w h0w the c0rpse can be pleasurable

[01:48] AA: but it is a nice dec0rati0n

[01:48] AA: its an 0k dec0rati0n

[01:49] AA: (¬_¬✿)

[01:49] AA: I f0rget.

[01:49] AA: Y0u y0ung.

[01:50] AA: Y0u learn in time. N0 w0rry.

[01:50] AA: 0k

[01:51] AA: 0kay.

[01:52] AA: 0k

[01:52] AA: 0kay.

[01:53] AA: 0k

[01:53] AA: 0kay.

[01:53] AA: 0k

[01:53] AA: 0kay.

[01:53] AA: S0 what y0u d0 with it anyway.

[01:55] AA: n0thing

[01:55] AA: Reas0n.

[01:55] AA: n0 reas0n

[01:57] AA: B0ring.

[01:57] AA: Waiting b0ring.

[01:57] AA: Being time her0 suck at time.

[01:57] AA: Fuck that n0 translate g00d.

[01:57] AA: I sh0uld g0.

[01:58] AA: 0k

[01:58] AA: bye

[01:58] AA: Farewell until next time.

[05:54] -- aristocraticGambit [AG] began trolling tyrannicalConnoisseur [TC] at 05:54 --

[05:54] AG: You know you never hit me up right after you got in game, 8ut that's okay, I've 8een 8usy anyway. And I suspect so have you.

[05:56] TC: BUSY GETTING MY LUNGS FILLED UP WITH MOTHERFUCKING SMOKE.

[05:56] TC: and not in a good way.

[05:56] TC: SORRY.

[05:56] TC: :o(

[05:57] AG: Is your land full of smog or some shit? At least it isn't full of rampaging sea creatures.

[05:58] TC: LITERAL SMOKE EVERYWHERE, I CAN'T EVEN SEE THE SHIT I'M FIGHTING.

[05:58] AG: You could always alchemize a gas mask; I 8elieve I have a code for a military one a soldier left 8ehind in this arcade.

[05:58] TC: i left because eridan was getting on my nerves constructing my hive with the grist i'd collected.

[05:59] AG: Pro8a8ly wouldn't help your sight pro8lems too much 8ut hey, at least you'd 8e a8le to 8reathe.

[06:00] TC: I SHOULD PROBABLY HEAD BACK TO HOMEBASE AND DO THAT THEN.

[06:00] TC: i'm chilling out in this cave i found out here.

[06:00] AG: What an im8ecile, I haven't even heard from him since we got in game.

[06:00] AG: Just tell me when you're there, and I'll give it to you.

[06:01] AG: I also have like, 8 thousand things to tell you.

[06:01] TC: IT'LL PROBABLY TAKE A MOTHERFUCKING WHILE, I WENT OUT A PRETTY LONG WAYS.

[06:02] TC: so you can tell me that stuff now, i guess, while i'm all up and getting my recovery on. :o)

[06:02] AG: T8ke your time.

[06:02] AG: Well the first exciting 8it of news is that I died.

[06:02] AG: 8ut, it's okay, 8ecause now I'm an immortal God.

[06:02] TC: HONK HONK HONK.

[06:03] TC: that sounds like the sweetest of miracles, 8a8e.

[06:03] AG: I'm not sure how you felt a8out my ro8ot parts, 8ut those are gone now too, as a result.

[06:03] AG: Yes, it is, it's gr8. ::::)

[06:03] TC: BLUE ALREADY TOLD ME ABOUT YOU KILLING HIM, BUT I CAN'T REALLY TALK TO HIM PROPERLY RIGHT NOW.

[06:04] TC: and nah, the robot parts were no big deal, i mean i'm literally half robot.

[06:05] AG: He was asking for it. I haven't told any8ody yet 8ut I guess now it's all out of the 8ag, you 8n't mad a8out that?

[06:06] AG: He purposely caused me pain when killing me, annnnnnnnd not to mention his horri8le attitude towards me.

[06:06] TC: I MEAN, THE ONLY THING I'M ACTUALLY MOTHERFUCKING ANGRY ABOUT IS THAT HE WAS A BIG ENOUGH CHICKEN ASS TO COMBINE HIMSELF WITH THAT REBEL.

[06:06] TC: oh, and that i can't see anything outside this cave, but that's not what we're talking about.

[06:07] AG: W8, what? He fused himself with his Sprite?

[06:08] AG: Fuuuuuuuuck, now we have two weird sprite trolls.

[06:08] TC: TWO? WHO ELSE MOTHERFUCKING DID THAT?

[06:09] AG: Aradia. She's part frog now.

[06:09] AG: You didn't know a8out that?

[06:09] AG: YOu know, she had to t8ke a physical form, 8ecause Equius 'accidently' murdered her.

[06:09] TC: i don't know about a lot, 8a8e, I've been out slaughtering basilisks and shit to stop thinking about...

[06:10] TC: WELL, THERE'S THESE MOTHERFUCKING MIRRORS EVERYWHERE TOO, AND THEY GIVE ME THE CREEPS.

[06:11] TC: they're all fogged up so i can barely make out my reflection, but i feel like the reflections aren't right or something.

[06:11] AG: Your land defin8tly sounds........interesting.

[06:11] AG: I would use caution if you decide to stare into them for too long.

[06:11] AG: 8ut I still think you should try to do it sometime.

[06:12] TC: WELL, IT'S EITHER GO BACK OUT THERE AND SEE WHAT ERIDAN'S BEEN DOING WITH MY HIVE, OR GO DEEPER IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING CAVE.

[06:13] TC: neither option will lead to a miraculous outcome, more than likely.

[06:14] AG: There's pro8a8ly nothing you can't handle in that cave. :::;)

[06:14] TC: HONK.

[06:15] TC: considering i've been taking out basilisks blind, probably not. ;o)

[06:16] TC: FUNNY, THIS IS PROBABLY SOME KARMIC BULLSHIT FOR WHAT I DID TO TEREZI, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT.

[06:16] AG: I haven't yet encountered something I haven't 8een a8le to t8ke. I keep hearing a8out super-8osses or wh8ver called Denizens, and I think I'd like to fight one of those.

[06:17] TC: whatever you do, just be careful.

[06:17] AG: Looooooool, no, I'd h8 to say it 8ut I think karma already got you with your legs.

[06:17] AG: This is just the game fucking with us.

[06:17] TC: HONK.

[06:17] AG: And I will 8e careful, not that I can die or anything.

[06:18] AG: You really should look into this God Tier thing.

[06:24] TC: i don't think i need it just yet, but i don't really know.

[06:25] TC: THE RUSTBLOOD DANCESTOR WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY GUIDE, SO I WAS ACTUALLY BANKING ON HER GIVING ME A BOONDOLLAR'S WORTH OF INFO AT LEAST.

[06:25] AG: It wouldn't hurt to find your quest 8ed and at least know where it is.

[06:25] TC: yeah, that's true.

[06:26] AG: I would tell you to tell her to fuck off, 8uuuuuuuut, a recent 8it of inform8tion tells me we should actually listen to what these idiots have to say.

[06:26] AG: Somewhat.

[06:26] AG: Some things they say still strike me as a 8it off.

[06:26] TC: BLUE SEEMS TO THINK THEY DON'T KNOW JACK SHIT NOW, BUT THAT COULD HAVE BEEN THE LIMEBLOOD TALKING.

[06:27] AG: They know more than us, well no, not more than me. I'm a god of knowledge now, so I really should 8e every8ody's primary source of inform8tion.

[06:27] AG: 8ut alas, it's a tragedy.

[06:27] AG: I don't have enough time to c8r to idiots all day, so these people will work just as well.

[06:27] AG: And may8e, just maaaaaaaay8e, they might know something I don't.

[06:28] TC: nah, they probably don't, you've always been pretty.

[06:28] TC: PRETTY SMART.

[06:28] TC: i meant pretty smart.

[06:28] TC: HONK.

[06:29] AG: Stop it, you're m8king me 8lush. :::;)

[06:29] TC: heheh. :o)

[06:30] TC: SO, HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING FROM THE OTHERS? HOW ARE KARKAT AND TAVROS?

[06:31] AG: I've only heard things from Terezi, who you don't care a8out, Sollux, who is also a god now, Karkat, who is on the god 8andwagon as well, and Equius, who is apparently a sprite now.

[06:32] AG: Soooooooo, those four are doing good.

[06:32] AG: And me, of course, I'm doing good.

[06:32] TC: of course, i wouldn't be talking to you right now otherwise. ;o)

[06:32] AG: I've 8een using a large amount of my psychic a8ility to mess witht he Prospitarian economy.

[06:33] AG: It's 8een pretty fun8.

[06:34] TC: I'VE GATHERED ALL OF MY CONSORTS IN MY HIVE, THEY SEEM TO ENJOY IT MORE THERE THAN IN THEIR SMOKED UP VILLAGES.

[06:34] TC: but, uhh... prospitarian what now?

[06:34] AG: All of them?

[06:34] TC: YES, EVERY ONE OF THEM.

[06:34] AG: Oh, right, you know the gold planet you go to when you sleep?

[06:35] TC: i haven't slept since i got here, 8a8e.

[06:35] AG: Well there's a golden planet and it has a 8unch of white creatures on it.

[06:35] AG: You should come see it sometime.

[06:36] TC: I THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT MY RECUPERACOON IS WRECKED AS A MOTHERFUCKER.

[06:38] AG: cl34n41R is the code for the gas mask, 8tw.

[06:40] TC: alright, i probably won't remember that exactly, but that's what logs are for.

[06:40] AG: Unfortun8tley, I don't even have a recuperacoon in this arc8de to give you.

[06:40] TC: IT'S FINE, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO FIND ANOTHER WAY TO SLEEP WITHOUT THE WICKED NIGHTMARES BOTHERING ME.

[06:41] TC: maybe.

[06:41] TC: HONK.

[06:41] AG: I could always 8e your recuperacoon. :::;)

[06:42] TC: aww, stop it, now you're making me blush. ;o)

[06:44] AG: You know it coooooooould work.

[06:45] TC: POSSIBLY.

[06:45] TC: but i can't really get to you right now. :o(

[06:46] AG: It's no 8ig deal, I can teleport now, it's a nice little a8ility I got with the immortal thing.

[06:47] TC: MOTHERFUCK, THAT WOULD'VE BEEN NICE TO KNOW SOONER.

[06:48] AG: Sorry. ::::(

[06:49] TC: that may have came off in the wrong way, i wasn't angry, 8a8e.

[06:50] TC: I APOLOGIZE FOR MAKING YOU THINK AN APOLOGY WAS NECESSARY.

[06:50] TC: :o)

[06:50] AG: It's okay, well now you know.

[06:50] AG: I am kinda 8usy right now, 8ut it's nothing I can't drop if you want to see me now.

[06:51] TC: IT'S UP TO YOU, REALLY.

[06:51] TC: you can wait until i get back to my hive, but then eridan would see us together and start getting his black on with me again.

[06:52] AG: May8e I could just flash there and gra8 you then flash 8ack here?

[06:52] AG: I mean, a wicked thunderstorm just started, 8ut it's still a 8it more peaceful than having him watch us sleep.

[06:52] TC: THAT COULD MOTHERFUCKING WORK.

[06:53] AG: Just tell me when you're ready, then.

[06:54] TC: whenever you are, 8a8e. ;o)

[06:54] AG: You're 8ack at your hive already? That was quick.

[06:56] TC: I WAS WALKING AND MESSAGING YOU AT THE SAME TIME, I MADE THIS PRETTY SWEET HOLO-SCREEN DEAL.

[06:56] AG: Alright, I'll 8e there in like one second.

[06:56] AG: Annnnnnnnd, here.

[06:56] -- aristocraticGambit [AG] waves --

[06:56] -- tyrannicalConnoisseur [TC] honks excitedly --

[06:57] -- aristocraticGambit [AG] hugs Gamzee, only to flash him and herself back to her "hive" --

[06:57] TC: nice threads, i guess they came with the whole god transformation thing?

[06:58] AG: Yup! I like them, they're comforta8le and stylish.

[06:58] TC: OH.

[06:58] AG: Like you can kick a ton of ass while feeling relaxed. Like action pajamas.

[06:59] AG: 8ut yeah, here we are, my "hive."

[06:59] AG: Still a liiiiiiiittleeeeeeee mad a8out that whole "Sollux hijacking my actual place" thing.

[07:00] TC: so, uh, where exactly are we supposed to sleep in here?

[07:00] AG: Terezi left a 8unch of Scalem8s in here earlier, we could form something out of them.

[07:01] TC: HONK.

[07:01] TC: as long as we can get past the squeeking.

[07:02] AG: It shouldn't 8e all that 8ig of a deal.

[07:02] AG: I'll 8e distracted 8y something else.

[07:02] AG: :::;)

[07:03] -- tyrannicalConnoisseur [TC] blushes --

[07:03] TC: UHH.

[07:03] TC: don't you mean someone else?

[07:04] AG: Yeah, suuuuuuuure, that's what I meant.

[07:04] -- aristocraticGambit [AG] looks away to conceal embarassed blush --

[07:05] TC: WELL, I GUESS WE SHOULD ROUND UP THOSE SCALEMATES.

[07:06] TC: heheheh.

[07:06] AG: Yup, they're scattered all over so it will pro8a8ly t8ke a min8.

[07:08] -- tyrannicalConnoisseur [TC] hurries off, trying not to think too hard about the whole something/someone thing --

[07:13] -- tyrannicalConnoisseur [TC] returns with a plethora of scalemates in his arms, dropping them and flinching at the many squeeks --

[07:14] -- aristocraticGambit [AG] arranges the Scalemates she had gathered into a makeshift mattress --

[07:18] -- tyrannicalConnoisseur [TC] stretches his robotic legs slowly before attempting to lay down --

[07:18] TC: MAYBE.

[07:18] TC: maybe i'll consider that god tier deal.

[07:19] -- aristocraticGambit [AG] retracts her wings and lays down, attempting to not set off any squeaks --

[07:19] AG: It would 8e pretty shitty if you weren't immortal with me, so I hope so.

[07:20] TC: YEAH, HEHEH.

[07:21] TC: but i was more going about it because of my legs.

[07:21] TC: HONK.

[07:21] TC: :o/

[07:25] AG: Well of course, you know I would apprec8te thaaaaaaaat part, too.

[07:25] AG: Not that there's anything wrong with how you are now.

[07:27] TC: THANKS.

[07:28] TC: i mean, you were in the same boat as me with all this mechanical shit before this game, but it still means a lot.

[07:29] AG: I'd have to say I'm pretty happy that Equius can't control those parts of me anymore.

[07:30] TC: I GUESS I'M MOTHERFUCKING LUCKY HE GAVE ME FULL CONTROL OF MY LEGS.

[07:32] AG: What???????? He doesn't have a remote for them or anything?

[07:32] AG: He said it was mandatory, ugh, I just cannot deal with that guy.

[07:33] AG: No offense to you, or anything.

[07:33] TC: i think he made an exception because of my position on the hemospectrum.

[07:34] TC: WHICH WAS AND STILL IS MOTHERFUCKING STUPID.

[07:35] AG: He's only one step higher than me!!!!!!!!

[07:35] AG: Just, let's talk a8out something or someone else.

[07:36] TC: he's not higher than anyone anyway, like i said, stupid.

[07:37] TC: BUT YEAH, WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT HIM BEING SOME ABOMINATION FUSION WITH THAT LIMEBLOOD.

[07:41] AG: So you really haven't talked to any8ody else since we got in?

[07:42] TC: yeah, i guess that sounds kind of crazy, but it's true.

[07:43] AG: They're pro8a8ly 8usy sucking at the game harder than we do.

[07:46] TC: WELL, YOU AREN'T EXACTLY SUCKING CONSIDERING YOU'VE BECOME A GOD AND ALL.

[07:47] TC: :o)

[07:54] AG: Well of course I 8n't sucking, 8ut I sure have had to pull every8ody else's w8 it seems.

[07:54] AG: Karkat couldn't even kill himself, he had to have me do it.

[07:56] TC: SO YOU HAVE TO MOTHERFUCKING DIE TO BECOME A GOD TIER?

[07:57] AG: Yeah, on your quest cocoon.

[07:58] AG: It 8n't the 8est thing in the world 8ut it pays off.

[07:58] TC: well, it worked for you guys, i guess i shouldn't have any problems killing myself when the time comes.

[07:58] AG: Again, I can 8e there for you if you want me to 8e.

[07:58] AG: When the time comes, that is.

[07:59] TC: HONK.

[07:59] TC: of course i'd want you to be with me, i never wanted you away from me to begin with.

[08:01] -- aristocraticGambit [AG] blushes pretty noticeably --

[08:01] AG: Just remem8er I'll never 8e away for long.

[08:02] -- tyrannicalConnoisseur [TC] grins --

[08:02] TC: RIGHT.

[08:09] AG: So this is comforta8le to you, I hope?

[08:12] -- tyrannicalConnoisseur [TC] puts an arm over her shoulder and pulls her closer --

[08:12] TC: why wouldn't it be?

[08:15] -- aristocraticGambit [AG] having been waiting for that moment, cuddles closer to him --

[08:15] AG: I don't know, the 8uttons could 8e a 8it annoying.

[08:16] TC: I CAN DEAL WITH IT, TRUST ME.

[08:17] AG: Good, just m8king sure.

[08:20] AG: ::::)

[08:21] -- tyrannicalConnoisseur [TC] nuzzles into her hair --

[08:21] TC: you probably will make a pretty miraculous recuperacoon, 8a8e.

[08:23] -- aristocraticGambit [AG] kicks off her shoes and settles down --

[08:23] AG: Hopefully the 8est!

[08:32] -- tyrannicalConnoisseur [TC] yawns --

[08:32] TC: HONK.

[08:32] TC: definitely.

[08:34] AG: We don't need to say any more right now, you should just try to rest.

[08:34] AG: You deserve itttttttt,

[08:35] -- tyrannicalConnoisseur [TC] closes his eyes and drifts to sleep --

[08:38] -- aristocraticGambit [AG] cuddles him until she does the same --