Iâm honestly touched to see so many supportive messages. For a long time I never spoke up because I was afraid of what it would do to my career prospects. But the longer my burnout lasted the more it was clear I just didnât have a future in animation. Not if it meant overworking myself to the breaking point.
Maybe Iâll get back to working on indie projects one day, but Spindlehorse was just such a toxic experience Iâm not sure that will be any time soon. I struggle even to draw things for myself. Itâs gonna be a while before Iâm ready to try and monetize something Iâm passionate about by selling my creative labor to others.
Itâs not to just that Viv demanded unreasonably tight deadlines (when she even gave us deadlines) but she also demanded our loyalty as employees. We werenât allowed to speak positively about other shows. Especially not other indie projects. We werenât really allowed to work on other indie projects either. It was frowned on.
I remember one time Viv got us all on a Discord group call and streamed a crossover episode of Villainous and another CNN show. She encouraged everyone to make fun of it and tear apart every little flaw. She would also speak poorly of other creators, indie or otherwise. I distinctly remember her mentioning that it was *supposedly* utter hell to work with Dana Terrace of The Owl House.
It was just deeply toxic all around. Not just the way the animationďżź and design work was doneâthat being highly disorganized and unprofessionalâbut also the culture. When I first joined the studio it felt like Viv treated me as an equal, and Iâm sure it felt that way for a lot of us. But gradually a hierarchy came into place. Viv had her favorites (the people who flattered her and rarely if ever showed interest in anything that wasnât Hazbin or Helluvaboss) and her âexecutivesâ of sorts. Her close friends and favorites.
Thereâs Sam Miller. Who I believe is (or at least was) listed in credits as Background Design Lead or something to that affect, and is essentially Vivâs gal Friday. She was very often considered the de facto leader in Vivâs absence. She was pretty nice in the beginning but as time went on she became more and more rude and abusive towards the artists. It was actually an interaction with Sam Miller that finally caused me to quit. Viv had made herself pretty untouchable and we were meant to go through Sam (at least for background artists) if we had a question for Viv.
Iâm not going to go into detail on that last interaction here but it was Samâs treatment that affected most of us who had issues on that project. We barely interacted with Viv any more.
As far as we were aware, she was spending more and more time rubbing elbows with the increasingly expensive voice talent. Thatâs likely where most of the budget goes. Merchandising and paying for name brand voice talent like Norman Reedus. Viv herself insisted she had wanted the role of Fizzaroli to go to Wierd Al, but Yankovichâs agent rejected the offer on his behalf. I canât imagine he comes cheap.
From what I figure, once the first episode of Helluva went live and Viv insisted on uploading a new episode every 1 to 2 months, things got progressively worse. She had little to no sympathy for those of us who needed day jobs to support ourselves. She wanted us to have the turnout of a brick and mortar studio with none of the organization, professionalism, or employee benefits.
I was working between 30 and 40 hour weeks at Starbucks because I had bills/loans to pay. I once pulled an all-nighter to try and meet a deadline which was only given out *when I asked for one* and which turned out to be less than a week away. I stayed up all night to meet the deadline and then went immediately to my 8hr shift at Starbucks. The lack of appreciation was so crushing.
Thatâs how Iâd describe working for Viv: âCrushingâ
I looked up to her. Thatâs why I applied to the show. I was one of the people who defended her when people tried to call her toxic. And then the reality of it was that Viv uses the people who admire her to her advantage. Itâs why she hires fans. She knows weâre desperate for her approval so she knows she can get away with pretty much whatever she wants. After I left Spindlehorse I tried salvaging my career but I was just too exhausted. Iâm still feeling that burnout and at times it can feel like I might never get my art back. I know I will, but as someone who struggled with mental illness even before working on Helluva, it just kind of wrecked me to have finally âmade itâ with my animation career only for it to abruptly blow up in my face because if someone I had looked up to.
I know Iâm not the only one who left feeling this way. Another friend of mine struggled to get work after leaving Spindle because Viv allegedly threatened other creators not to hire her artists. I canât verify this myself, so youâre just gonna have to decide for yourself if you believe that one. Personally, I do. While speaking about Viv with the producer of other indie works (and who now works for Bento Box) describing a time she met Viv at a convention. As she recalls it, Viv seemed to find the idea of investing in her artists and their careers pointless and laughable.
I genuinely feel used, and that we were all used. Itâs been over a year since I quit so idk if things have changed or improved. I highly doubt it though.
