The Dragon’s Den

Aston: Lance/Carlos. Ideally with Carlos Sr. in a position of similar power as Daddy Stroll. Battle of the Nepo Babies(' dads). I think Carlos and Lance themselves would be chill, but I think Carlos Sr. and Daddy Stroll would start committing white collar crimes against each other. Interesting developments.

Alpine: Isack/Oscar. Sorry Oscar for putting you in the Alpine but I'm also not really sorry because it would be hilarious. As for you Isack, you'd have to deal with being teammates with Oscar in an Alpine. So you've suffered enough I think and I won't make you suffer further.

Mclaren: Kimi/Ollie. Now there's not a chance in hell either would end up at mclaren any time soon, but imagine. Two bestie rookies in the mclaren rocketship. This is psychological experimentation on my part, I have to admit - I want to see what a title fight would do to them, whether they'd manage or whether we'd see the Great Bearnelli Collapse. The caveat would be that mclaren aren't allowed to fire either mid-season. I want to see what happens.

Mercedes: Max/George. This is of course generally accepted as a) a terrifyingly likely pairing, and b) a terrifyingly terrifying pairing. I don't think they would last more than fifteen minutes before killing each other, and not even really in a sexy rivalry RPF way. All the enemies of Lestappen and none of the lovers, two guys who are genuinely convinced they should be the only driver prioritised in a team who, historically, is Not Good at managing in-team title fights.

Red Bull: Lewis/Fernando. Old Man Nation in the world's most toxic team imaginible. Run it back - and by 'it,' I mean Lewis/Fernando part 1, and I mean Vettel/Webber, put in a blender and whizzed until radioactive. I think the only thing that could bring back Nando and Lewis' sparks is pitting them against each other again in a team they both equally absolutely fucking hate.

Williams: Franco/Liam. I have not seen these two interact at all whatsoever, and I'm not really massively knowledgeable about them anyway, but in my head they're like oil and water. Their vibes are historic levels of unmatched. Their freaks diametrically opposed. Lawson also had that meme last year about hating the grid's spanish speakers and i thought that was funny and I want to bring it back.

RB: Alex/Yuki. Now this one was hard, because I think you could put Albon in a small room with a silverback gorilla and in fifteen minutes he'd be besties with it, but I'd like to put the Red Bull victims together in a Red Bull. Would the stress of it kill them both? Probably.